


Nothing

by rstarisk



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Betrayal, Chances, Cheating, Depression, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff, Heroes of Olympus, Hurt, M/M, Modern AU, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Freeform, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, finding love again, what are these tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-09-22 04:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 57,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9584222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rstarisk/pseuds/rstarisk
Summary: When things start to turn gray, Nico tries to put some color back. While Jason slowly loses his.





	1. Slurred

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is the same fanfic as before but I had to do major change and editting per chapter seemed too much for me so I just deleted the old one and uploaded the new one. The plot is still the same, just changed a few words (I haven't really done my research when I wrote this one night...) I didn't want to use the wrong terms so yeah... I've written the flashbacks in Italized but it doesn't show here ;'( I might just upload the right one in my wattpad account. The username is still the same "rstarisk" with Ivan Branginsky as profile picture!
> 
> this is based from The Script's song "Nothing" but I actually used a lot of songs as reference, Nothing being the main song.

_"I just can't anymore! It's over now, don't you get it Jason?"_

 

The words rang endlessly inside the blond's mind. He and Nico were no more. While he was so preoccupied with work, Nico had found someone else. Blond with blue eyes, freckles dusting his nose, someone who looked like a surfer. It was just so sudden. Maybe he shouldn't have worked too hard into earning more. Maybe he shouldn't have taken those double shifts and over times. But he wanted to earn as much as possible to make Nico's overdue wish come true: travel back to Italy. Well that's out of the equation now.

__

_"You never even thought about me!"_

 

How come it was so easy for him to say that? After all they've been through. Nico had the audacity to say so. Jason tried his best to be a good boyfriend. He had gave up a lot of things, even his parents trust and he valued that trust. Finishing his third glass of beer, he asked the bartender for something much stronger. He'd regret this tomorrow he was sure but for now, he wanted to lose himself, forget about the world, about everyone else and just help himself with the comfort these alcohols could provide him.

 

One

Two

Three

 

Jason had lost count with the drinks he had that he started to laugh by himself, willing all the bitter emotions away. Percy and the others had told him to stop but he was too dead serious about his goal that night: get smashed. The world was unfair, cruel even but he didn’t care about those thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to be drunk and push the pain away from his chest. He had never felt this much pain in one night. The pain from being disowned wasn’t this great. He was actually proud to walk out of their house years ago when his parents made him chose. He’d do anything for Nico. He loved him too much; grown too attached to a person he just met during his freshman year in college. They both thought of the future together and Jason was grateful for the Italian to see this, wanted to live with him, wanted to things with him and wanted to risk things for one another. But it seemed like it Jason was the only one who came through. Somewhere along the path, Nico was left, found someone else and now Jason didn’t know what to do.

 

“Jason, you should stop it man. You’re drinking too much. Don’t you have something to do tomorrow?” Leo, one of his best friends, was standing next to him with an arm around his shoulder. Sometime ago, Percy had called their friends for help.

 

In all honesty, they have never seen or witnessed Jason being like this. To their little group, Jason was their beacon of strength and order and seeing him like this: weak and a mess up, they didn’t know what to do. Slowly, the images from eight hours ago started to play in Jason’s head.

 

_Nico had wanted to meet with him that night at the café they usually go to. Though the clouds weren’t looking their best, daring the rain to pour, Jason still went as soon as he got out of work. It’d be their second time to meet that week outside of their apartment . Jason was happy after all the tiring hours he spent at work. Sitting down in their usual spot, Jason waited, his gaze falling outside into the street as the rain began to pour. Soon enough, he saw Nico’s silhouette nearing the cafe  entrance. There was a short jingle of bells then Nico di Angelo was standing in front of him, a little wet from the on pour of the rain. Jason was about to stand up and pull him next to him when the other spoke._

_“This won’t be long. No need for chairs.” There was an edge into his voice, something Jason hadn’t heard for years now. He only used that voice back when he was still head over heels about Percy and hearing it now only meant trouble._

_“Well… what is it then ? ” Jason’s stomach started spinning. He suspected that this wasn’t to end well._

_“Let’s break up.”_

“..Ace. Grace! Listen to me when I’m talking to you!” Jason snapped his head up to the person standing right in front of him. It wasn’t Leo anymore that’s for sure. With unfocused eyes, he tried his hardest to recognize who it was.

“For the love of Jesus what the hell are you doing?” It was Reyna, probably steaming mad at the state Jason was. “Since when did you drink this much huh? And where’s your boyfriend? He should be stopping you-“

“Reyna cut that out!” Piper intervened. It seemed like she already knew.For a while, both ladies talked.

 

This was getting nowhere. It frustrated Jason that he took another glass of whatever he was drinking a while ago and chugged it down in one go, laughing bitterly after as he slurred some words in between “Nico” and “Break up”. The tension in the air seemed to thicken when Jason slurred some more, tears daring to fall down his perfect sculpted face. Everyone knew what the blond had to sacrifice and left behind for the Italian and they too could feel the secondhand pain Jason was feeling. But no one could ever feel the immense pain his heart was giving him. It made the phrase “the living dead” a whole new meaning.

 

“..love him..”

“how could he… hic..”

“hahaha so stupid…”

“o-ne mo-re…”

“fuck…”

 

_Nico was stomping out of the café when he had delivered his message, leaving a confused and hurt Jason. As soon as his mind processed this, Jason ran after him, disregarding the downpour of rain as he grabbed and pulled the younger one to him, eyes searching for the answer._

_“Don’t touch me Grace.” Nico hissed, pulling his appendage away from the other. Jason on the other hand just stared at him, pain slowly engulfing him._

_“Why?” it was unfair. After all the things he had done for Nico, after all the sacrifices, sleepless nights and secrets, this was how it was going to end? Why?_

_“I met someone, someone who actually has time for me, someone who doesn’t cage me in that damn  apartment  for hours, someone who’d take me to places and let me experience new things, someone whose not you.” His words were like venom. It hurt to listen to them. Hadn’t Jason done enough? Hadn’t he proved himself worthy enough for Nico’s affection? Where’s the loyalty?_

_“I’m sorry I barely have time for you but I was taking all possible steps to get you closer to your wish. Didn’t you want to go back to Italy? Visit Italy at least?”_

_“I am and he is taking me to Italy, tonight at midnight, we’ll be flying to Italy. I can finally search for my family with the person who won’t leave me behind.”_

_“But I didn’t leave you behind! You were just impatient to wait for me-“_

_“Don’t give me that shit Jason. I waited for weeks and days for something to happen but nothing! You’re too busy to even look at me. Too tired to even do the usual shit we do. Do you know how that makes me feel? I can’t anymore! It’s over now, don’t’ you get it Jason?”_

_“But I love you-“_

_“Well you have a shitty way of showing it Grace.”_

_“Can’t you just understand that I was doing it for you?!” people were now starting to look at them, being in the middle of the street during a rain, who wouldn’t stare? “Couldn’t you wait for me at least?”_

_“I waited enough for you but nothing.”_

_“Well shit, how many years did you think I had to wait for you then?” this was it. When the blame game started, there was no turning back. “Tell me, how many years did it take for you to move on from Percy? Tell me how many times have you said Percy in your sleep while I was the one holding you? Tell me how many times I had to stop myself from punching Percy when all you moaned during sex was Percy? Don’t you think this is unfair? I finally get you to myself yet… you’re still so far away. Tell me Nico, am I not enough for you that you had to look for someone else? I waited for you every single god damn day, waiting for that day you realized you love me down and I finally had that chance but then it was short lived. Here you are leaving me after all the things I have done for you. What do you take me for Nico? What?”_

Jason sniffled against the leather bound of Reyna’s car. He remembered everything even with a drunken mind. Everything made perfect sense to him. Nico never really loved him the way he loved the other. It was just unfair. He did everything he could to the extent that he’d take a bullet for Nico. It might have been naïve but didn’t love do that to people? Make them do crazy things. Slowly, the car moved away from the bar Percy had brought him to. Where the heck was Percy anyway? Who cares. These people would just reprimand him when he sobered up so why not get more alcohol to drink? But soon that thought was washed away by memories of Nico. Jason stared out the car window as tears finally fell down his face. He remembered that time when Nico finally said yes to him. There was a small satisfied smile on the Italian’s face as Jason hugged him tightly; Jason’s smiling much more widely than the other did. Then the memory faded into their first date. Jason had taken Nico to the pier for some good sea-side party. Although he knew how Nico hated the crowd, with him, the other seemed to light up. They met a few strangers that had welcomed them warmly to their camp fire. It was the first time since they met that Jason heard the other laugh freely and dance with him, like some stupid chain was broken and it warmed Jason’s heart immensely to see Nico smile and be happy. This was what he lived for, to make Nico happy even it meant his own life was taken away. A small smile crept the blond’s lips but then the pain was greater than the happiness that memory provided. A batch of tears fell down his face as he watched people walk down the street. What was he doing in this car? He should be out there running after Nico and saying how sorry he was for saying such cruel things earlier that day.

 

_“You’re Jason Grace, the most perfect human being in this world. That’s who you are and I’m Nico di Angelo, the most useless and most worthless piece of shit that ever existed in this god damn world. Me being with you is like tipping the balance. It’s like I’ll keep disappointing you at some point. You think I don’t realize it Grace? I know that face you make when I disappoint you and it hurts. I don’t want to disappoint you anymore and at the same time I don’t want to try anymore. It’s tiring. Unlike with Will, I don’t have to try my hardest to be the perfect boyfriend-“_

_“You assumed again. Nico, how many times do I have to tell you that you’re perfect just the way you are? How many times to I have to tell you that you mean the world to me?”_

_“Well I guess it’s just not enough.” And that was it. Nico turned around and walked away without a single glance back. Slowly, Jason fell down to his knees, eyes wide from the truth between them. All along, Nico was just pretending to be happy for him because he thought Jason had expected something of him and god did it hurt. Those stupid assumptions burnt his chest and because of those stupid assumptions he lost the person he loved the most, the person he’d take a bullet for any day, the person he gave everything for. How did it come to this?_

__

The care came to a halt when it came across a red light. Without a second thought, Jason unlocked the car door and dashed for it, Reyna screamed just behind him. He had to get to Nico he just had to. He had to say he was sorry for being so cruel, he had to see him and make everything alright and he most definitely need to see him, to tell the Italian he loved him dearly. But where could Nico be? Where was he anyway? What part of town was this? Unable to thing right, Jason kept on running, his head pounding from the effects of all the alcohol he had consumed earlier. Somewhere along the way, he had puked his guts out, tears falling down along with it. He was in a losing battle but he didn’t give up, you just don’t give up on someone you love.

 

“NICO!” Jason yelled, then he fell face first on the ground. “Ow…”

 

Not far from him was a bridge. Really, where was he? This wasn’t the way to their apartment . Trying to get his bearings, Jason tried to stand, only to fall back on his ass. Then the sky rumbled. As soon as it passed, the rain came. Jason squinted at the sky above him, his eyes too sore to look properly. Where was the blue sky he loved? Why was it so dark? The darkness reminded him of Nico. It wasn’t such a bad thing but it wasn’t so comforting now. How did it come to this? Slowly, picking himself up once again, Jason stood. He wobbled his way to the bridge and sat on its railings, looking down at the dam before him. What if he jumped down there, will the darkness of the water welcome him? Would the pain stop if he did? Will he finally feel at peace at least? With Nico gone… a lot of things weren’t just the same anymore. Then another memory came back to him.

 

It was their first day in their new apartment . Even before they’ve got to unpacking, they were already claiming the space with their love making. It made Jason’s heart swell at the thought. They were madly in love so what happened? Wasn’t their bond together strong enough? What had made Nico fall out of love with him? He hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t cheated Nico nor have he kept secrets from the other. So what happened? Did he simply just got tired of it all? Again, it was unfair. Jason didn’t intend it to be like this. He loved Nico. He endured all the pain that came with loving someone who was sensitive, foul mouthed and depressing. Jason was ready to throw everything else just to make Nico happy. Now all that remind in him was anger, regret and pain. He really shouldn’t have grown attached, look where it got him? But once you start talking about the future together, you also see it and talking about the future together with Nico had been the happiest times of Jason’s life. There was no comparing it. True love was once in a life time.

 

“Someday w-we’ll know..” Jason sobbed, voice hitching and breath shortening as he continued to sing their song. “why the sky.. is blue…”

 

_Someday we’ll know why I wasn’t meant for you_

_Someday we’ll know why Samson loved Delilah_

_Someday we’ll know that I was the one for you._

Jason took a deep breath and sobbed, heart wrenching noises escaping his lips as he remembered everything about Nico. His smile, those long eyelashes, his curly hair that reach his shoulders, that white alabaster skin, the small noises the Italian made when he was surprised and most especially, the way Nico looked at him with a twinkle in his eyes. Jason would miss everything about Nico. He’d miss Nico. Who would he say good morning to from now on? Who would he cook breakfast for? Who would he kiss good night? Take out on movie dates? Hug when they felt like breaking? Who? Jason didn’t have anyone significant to him anymore. He didn’t have family anymore. He didn’t have Thalia like he used to. His friends wouldn’t look at him the same way anymore after tonight. He was literally all alone.

 

“Don’t you dare move a muscle Grace.”

 

Reyna had obviously found him. But then he was so much of an idiot he turned around to face the other, which resulted into knocking off his balance and falling into the dam below him.

 

“JASON!” he heard her scream before he heard the slushing of the water against his buzzing ears.

 

Slowly closing his eyes, all Jason thought about then was the peace he could obtain. His raging emotions had made him into a mess. He knew for a fact that he wasn’t going to be the same anymore. It was over. It was time to stop all this nonsense.


	2. So it goes on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico returns to a place he once called home and still wished was home.

“It’s been a while since I last came to this place…” the young man told himself as he stepped close to the water fountain that hadn’t changed after the years he had been away.   
“Well you’ve been living in Italy with us for five years; of course you’d miss this place.” A young lady with caramel colored skin said who looped her arm with the young man’s. “Are you sure you’re ready for the things you have left behind here Nico? Doesn’t that Will Solace lived here?”  
“Will’s not the problem…” there was a cold chill in Nico’s back as he looked around cautiously. He was worried about another blond who had a certain lip scar.  
“…Nico?” he turned his head to find a certain Spanish American staring at him cautiously. Of course Leo would be hostile, Nico hurt his best friend after all.  
“Hey there Leo…” Nico tried to smile and wave back but Leo took a step back, obviously tensed to his spot.  
“You’re back. I mean that’s a good thing but we thought… you left for good after…” the mechanic clicked his tongue, his brows suddenly meeting. “This isn’t good.”  
“Hello, my name is Hazel.” The lady reached out her hand to Leo, a forced smile plastered on her lips.  
“di Angelo?”  
“Levesque.”  
“Oh… Leo Valdez.” Taking his hand out of his glove, the Spanish American grabbed her hand and shook it. “Anyways… this is a bad time to be back. Superman’s coming back from military service as well-“  
“Superman?” Hazel asked, looping her arm around Nico’s once again.  
“He meant Ja- wait he joined the military?” This was all news to Nico. Before he left, Jason worked in a radio station. Leo just looked at him like what do you think? “Didn’t he work at the radio station?”  
“He used to.” Came Leo’s short response. He was clearly not amused with their conversation. “I won’t tell a soul that you’re back in town. I mean, I partially hate you for what you had my best friend go through. You don’t know how much it…” Leo sighed, shaking his head before turning around. “See you around Ghost king.” And then he was gone.   
“Friend of yours?” Hazel asked as they started to walk to a café Nico knew too well.  
“Was. He said he hates me.” They entered the café he and Jason used to go to and sat at the table where Jason last sat.

Somehow, it made Nico’s heartache. He was an asshole for running away with Will. He only realized what an asshole he was when he finally met Hazel and when he started to compare everything Will did to Jason. If he was being honest with himself, Nico missed Jason and he regretted all the shit he said to Jason that night. Who was he kidding? He was madly in love with Jason but he somehow managed to get on with Will Solace, a certain blond he met by the beach during the days Jason was so busy saving up for his ticket to Italy. That was also one of the things that made Nico feel guilty as hell. Just because of his selfish wish, the world went topsy turvy. He never really loved Will. He was infatuated with him. His love for Jason couldn’t even compare and he was the biggest idiot to walk on earth. He hurt the person he loved the most and where was this love if you may ask? Practically throwing his life away in war and that worried Nico to no end. It was stupid, naïve even that in a moment Nico could throw away all the trust and love Jason poured into him after meeting someone new for just a few days.

“How many years did you think I had to wait for you then?”

Nico clenched his teeth as he remembered that particular moment during their break up. Jason’s face was morphed into something painful. He couldn’t forgive himself for giving Jason so much pain. After all those years apart, Nico had concluded that it was time to make things right, to fix the bridges between them. Though during those years away from this town, Nico had no news about Jason. He relayed on a little spark of hope he clung to. This was Jason Grace, there was no end to him. There was always hope in Jason and Nico was thankful for that.

“-ico. Nico!”  
“W-what?” Nico snapped out from his trance and turned to look at her half-sister. There was a worried look on her face as an unsettling silence surrounded them.  
“What’s in your mind?”  
“Nothing. I just remembered something. So did you order something?” Hazel looked at him hard for a moment before shaking her head.

Suddenly, the door slammed. Nico’s head turned to the direction of the door. It seemed like someone just left and slammed the door. It was quiet disturbing though. Normally, this place was serene and relaxing but today, Nico couldn’t describe the uneasiness that enveloped him.

 

It had been three years since Jason last came back from this little town he grew up in. Nothing really changed and because of that, it wasn’t so hard to fall back into place. Despite that, he couldn’t help the melancholic feeling he got as he walked pass a particular water fountain. It was the same fountain he and Nico used to meet up for dates when they weren’t together. Looking at it again, it only gave him heartache. Moving on, he walked to the usual stores he used to visit before leaving for war. All of the store owners greeted him warmly in a way that it felt like he had never left in the first place. It was nice. He felt like he belonged for once. In the army, it was different. He felt alienated and no one really liked him since he was the corrupt General’s son. 

It had been a hard life for him after the incident that night Nico left. After drowning in the dam, his life had never been the same. His friends treated him as if he’d break any moment. They didn’t joke like they used to, nothing too heavy for talk and definitely no drinking. But that was the thing; Jason couldn’t keep himself from drinking. After he had been released from the hospital, he shut himself inside his apartment and drank his days away, wasting all the money he saved up for Nico’s trip to Italy for booze. It was always the same thing every night. He’d look out the window and lose himself. Sometimes he’d pass out on the floor, eyes sore from crying the whole time and if he was being honest himself, he had developed a vice he couldn’t save himself from. Seven years from the accident he was still the same broken Jason Grace. He refused to be sent to rehabilitation for it wounded his pride as the “golden boy” of the group. He was the disciplined and most brilliant person in town and he wouldn’t let that reputation be tarnished just because of some nights he wasted by drinking. 

Today was different though. Jason had been thinking a lot lately. He realized that drinking was definitely bad for his health and that he should stop it sooner. So he went to the coffee shop he and Nico used to hang out in. This shop had changed. From the dull blue paint it had before, now it adorned the color pink and peach. There were more flowers and it was brighter. Jason liked how it changed even if the place held awful memories to him, he couldn’t possibly let go of the place that meant a lot for him. Standing just a few feet away from the shop, he stared at it and smiled. It definitely had been a while since he came back from this place. He missed it. From the homey feeling and strong sent of cinnamon and coffee beans, there was no place else that felt like home. With energy filling his veins, the blond pushed the door open with the small bells chiming as he entered. It felt nice standing on familiar ground once again. The shop clerk smiled and welcomed him inside. Jason was about to walk to the counter when he noticed a familiar black mess of hair at the end of his eyesight. 

That can’t be right.

He wanted to ignore the nagging feeling in his chest but he gave up and turned his head to see who it was. Well shit. This really wasn’t right. At their usual spot sat Nico di Angelo. He looked healthy and vibrant but despite the entire positive aura around the Italian, Jason’s heart still ached at the sight of him. He had grown marvelously unlike Jason who succumbed to depression. It was unfair, still unfair. As hard as he tried to bury the feelings, they just kept coming back and this time, it hit him hard like a ton of bricks were slapping him on the face. Clenching on his coat, Jason turned and left, slamming the door behind him. He couldn’t do this right now. It was too soon. Why was Nico back anyway? Shouldn’t he be living with that Will Solace he replaced Jason with? Whatever his reason is, this wasn’t going to end well. So taking a step back, Jason pulled the door open and dashed out, slamming the door unintentionally behind him. He ran as far as he could from the coffee shop, the memories from that day flooding back into his mind like a tidal wave. Just as he turned to an alley, he saw Percy wave at him though he ignored him, continuing to run without any idea where it will lead him. 

Stupid feelings  
Stupid heart  
Stupid Jason

His mind was in frenzy that he didn’t notice the incoming car and it hit his hip, throwing him to the side roughly. But it would take more force for his bones to break that he stood up and ran once again, ignoring the throbbing of his shoulder and elbow. 

Shit

Where was he going? He couldn’t go back to their- his apartment . It only meant he had to pass by the coffee shop again if he wanted to get to his apartment . What a nuisance. Why did Nico have to come back all of a sudden? Wasn’t he happy with that guy Will Solace? 

‘Get it together Jason!’ the blond doubled over the cement fence, forcing the lunch in his stomach to stay still. The urge to vomit was there but he didn’t let the feeling win over. He had to get a hold of himself. Yes he knew this was going to happen one day. He should have expected it years before. How long has it been anyway? 6? 7 years? It was already that long ago surely he should have moved on from Nico but what is this numbing pain inside his chest? Did he really move on or just buried the feelings for the sake of trying to seem like he was okay. Suddenly, his phone rang from his jeans’ pocket. It was Percy. Willing the thoughts away, he answered the phone.

“Hello?”  
“Jason? Where are you? You just started running away from me when I called you. Did something happen?” Percy’s voice was laced with worry. After the incident, Percy had blamed himself for Jason drowning himself.   
“Oh i-it was nothing Percy. I just had the urge to… you know, run.”   
“Well okay. So, the gang and I were planning on a party-“  
“Percy.” Jason sighed. Here we go again. “I already told you countless of times, you guys don’t need to throw a party for me every time I get back from my job. It’s totally useless. As much as I love you guys, I’m just not a party person. And do tell me you weren’t planning on introducing someone to me.”   
“But Jason… we missed you. You rarely come back anymore. Sometimes you don’t return for years, like this time. You were gone for 3 years man. You missed a lot. You missed how Annabeth gave birth to our first daughter, how Thalia got married to Luke or that time Leo actually got his food on fire and got the firemen busting through his door. We MISS you. We just want time with our friend who works in a very dangerous job. It may be noble but gods Jason, can we just call get along?” 

Percy was sounding desperate. Jason felt guilt build in his chest. He did miss them but ever since the breakup, Jason had just been depressed. Every night, he lay awake in his bunk, mind racing, thinking through thoughts he didn’t need to think and basically feeling bad for himself. He had become so anti-social that whenever he came back from his service, he wished he was back on the battle field again, waiting for death to come to him. But that was also another problem. For some reason, there’s this little hope he clung to. That little hope got him through every battle. He didn’t let himself get killed. He knew he wasn’t weak, physically at least but he was tired, tired of living every god damn day, not knowing what to make of his pointless life. He should be moving on but Nico didn’t really give him that much reason to move on. He still loved him, still wished he’d come back but he didn’t expect it to actually happen, to actually see him in the same café they met today. Again, it’s back to figuring out puzzles and going to a party wasn’t in that list. Jason needed time on his own. He didn’t anyone’s company. He lived on his own and that won’t change. Sure it must be unfair to his friends but he didn’t want to burden them. They all had their own lives to attend to. What was there to talk about anyway? His new scars? The horrible days he spent in patrol? That was nothing to him. He was breathing and that was important to them right…? 

“…Fine. But I’m not staying long. You know I really hate parties or whatever.”   
“Yes! Don’t worry man. It’s just gonna be us and a few people from training. Not much of a crowd.” Jason could see Percy smiling at the other end. That guy was so easy to please.  
“See you later then Perce.”  
“See ya Grace.” Then the call ended. 

Jason slid his phone back into his pocket and took a deep breath. He only realized then that he was on the bridge leaving town. He ran that far. Well it was time to get back to his apartment . There was still plenty of time to kill so he headed for the library, the only place he knew he’d find sanctuary.

 

7:38pm

Nico and Hazel had settled themselves in a hotel close to the water fountain and where Leo worked. Outside, the town lights were being lit one-by-one by the same old man. Nico smiled as he recognized that chubby man. 

“So this is where you’ve been living before we met. It’s quite and nice. I like it here.” Hazel was sitting on her bed, brushing her hair back into a pony tail. Nico turned to face her, a sad smile on his lips.  
“This isn’t where I lived… this is where Jason lives.” Nico couldn’t describe the shock on Hazel’s face as he said that so he walked to his bed, parallel to hers, and sat down. “Would you believe me that I would have been dead if not for him? I didn’t have money. My step dad beat me up a lot since I was skinny back then and when college came, I finally got the freedom I wanted though I couldn’t leave mom behind. The next thing I knew, he drive her to suicide. I stopped receiving money by the second year in college. I already knew Jason then but I wasn’t actually head over heels about him just yet. I was in love with this guy named Percy. He had the warmest sea-green eyes and the most melodic laugh but I knew I didn’t stand a chance so I never told anyone about that until Jason asked me ‘you like him don’t you?’. It got me cracking up, still he kept a straight face. I asked him how he knew about that…” Nico sighed rather deeply this time, as if breathing had become hard so suddenly. “He told me he was staring at me the same way I stared at Percy.” Somehow it had become hard to keep his lips from trembling that he let himself fall down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling as if he was looking at the night sky above. “He really wasn’t my type at all. He was the nice guy. Everyone depended on him. He was so disciplined, everything I’m not and then one night, I got seriously drunk during a party Percy organized. No one wanted to take me home and so Jason volunteered. Gods he was such a control freak. I tried seducing him and everything but he didn’t budge. He kept still in his seat and then I gave up and passed out on his bed. He didn’t know where I lived so I ended up staying up in his place… which was a nice condo. Every nice thing I wanted. The weird thing was he didn’t kick me out. He even prepared breakfast for me. What shocked me were the scars on his back. They weren’t just light ones, they seemed like they were whipped on or something. I used to shove him away each time he was nice to me but since that day, I thought I should start treating him right.” As soon as the words left his lips, there was a little pang of pain in his chest. He couldn’t help but wipe the tear that ran down his face. He had been a big asshole to Jason.  
“Oh Nico…” Hazel got up from her bed and hugged her brother. She laid next to him, stroking his curls with such care.   
“I’ve been an asshole to him. He gave up everything for me Hazel. He never admits it but I knew his father had done worst things to him than my step-dad did to me. Those scars, those sad eyes and I had the guts to cheat on him. All I- hic- did w-was… u-use him. I’m horrible… so fu-cking selfish…” More tears slipped through his eyes as he envisioned Jason smiling warmly at him. “Just because he was gone for a few weeks of working…”  
“Shh Nico it’s going to be okay.” Hazel squeezed his hand, feeling the grief roll off of him.  
“And I cheated him for someone who resembled him. Another blue eyed blond who only wanted to get in my pants. He promised me he’d take me to Italy. He did, I found you. But it wasn’t quite right with him. He may be rich but he didn’t love me. And to think his name was Solace. He was the biggest mistake so far… but not as big as my mistake for leaving Jason.” Nico wiped the tears his other hand could wipe. His heart hurt too much that swallowing and breathing so hard.   
“Calm down Nico. If he is the same Jason you love, he’ll understand and forgive you. It’s why we’re here in the first place. Jason listens to reason base from you stories about him.”  
“I don’t know Hazel… I don’t have the slightest idea how much he has changed since then.”  
“We’ll meet him and clear things out. It will start out rocky but we’ll get there. Believe in yourself Nico.” She smiled sweetly then kissed his forehead. “You must be tired. Let’s go to bed. Our flight was exhausting. It was nice to show me around the places you liked today.” Nico smiled weakly and then the lights were off. Maybe he was just tired. But one thing was for sure, he was going to make things right between him and Jason if he still lived here.

9:49pm

Nico couldn’t sleep. A dozen thoughts ran rampant in his mind after his little break down a while ago. Sitting up, he looked out the window and realized the moon was full tonight and that the night life of the town was starting. He decided to take a short walk and grabbed his coat. It got awfully cold in this town as he remembered. Once he was outside the hotel premises, he heard cheery music from the nearby restaurant. It felt warm and laughter could be heard. Nico was drawn to it that he found himself walking closer to the warmth of the restaurant. Just as he was about to look through the shop window, the door swung open and he found himself stepping back from the strong chest he bumped into.

“I’m sorry-“  
“Nico?” that voice sounded familiar. Lifting his chin up, sea-green eyes met him. “What are you doing here?” Percy closed the door behind him then looked through the window then back at Nico. “Weren’t you in Italy?”   
“I was. I came back. Didn’t Leo tell you I was around town?”   
“No, he didn’t. Look, this isn’t the best place to talk. How about I treat you to some coffee?”  
“Sounds great.”  
“Let’s go.” 

And so they bounded for the same café he and Jason used to visit.

10:26pm

“You grew up from the blue food did you Percy?” Nico chuckled, taking a sip of his cookies and cream smoothie, something he and Jason used to share.  
“Never. Blue food is great! But that’s not the point why we’re here. So what’s got you back here? It’s actually a bad time to be here.” Nico looked at him skeptically. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Percy, but he had a plan that did not include Percy in it and he knew Percy, the guy to wreck a havoc within seconds. Taking a deep breath, he spoke.  
“I’m here to see Jason. I know I… did shit to him years ago and I really, really, am sorry for being an asshole to him.” he looked down on his drink and droned. He really missed Jason. “I miss him and I regret being such a douche to him, for leaving all of a sudden just because someone else swept me off my feet for a moment’s notice. I don’t know what else to say Percy. You know I’m not that good with words.”  
“Yeah I remember you telling me you were much more of an action person.” Snickered the other. That got Nico snickering too. “But you see… there’s a situation you need to know-“  
“Hi Percy who’re you-“ Percy snapped his head back Nico swore he could have broken his neck with how fast his head spun. Behind him, a beautiful, in a punk rock way, lady stood. She had short black pixie cut hair and a few piercings on her ear. Her eyeliner was heavy that made her blue eyes stand out. Blue eyes… “Are you by any chance Nico di Angelo?” Nico stared then looked at Percy who was doing the shushing gesture.  
“Yes?” her playful expression dropped instantly. Instead, she pushed Percy off his chair and sat on it, her eyes hard on Nico’s features.  
“I’m Thalia Grace by the way.” Nico’s eyes widened in surprise. Did she just say Thalia Grace…? Like Jason Grace “Grace”? “Jason’s older sister.” Nico gaped.   
“Please don’t go hard on him Thalia.” Percy had a worried look on his face as he pulled a chair from the other vacant table to sit next to them. He had his arms crossed and his eyes moved from Nico to Thalia vice versa. This wasn’t going to end well like Percy intended it to be.   
“Oh please Perce. This guy can take a little more pain… I suppose. So let’s get down to business, I need to tell you some things and I know for a fact that you’re here for Jason and as his sister, I am concerned. So here goes. First of all, you cannot just barge in and say “Hey Jason I’m back.” No that’s not good lil man. As much as I want him to attend rehab, he just won’t budge so I’m giving you a head’s up in case you’re planning on making amends or whatever. He’s defensive. This won’t be an easy thing on your part because he can spat the most annoying and hurtful things. Though I know for a fact that Jason isn’t as bad as everyone seems he is to be... He’s a sap and he never admits it anymore but you’re still special to his miserable life. As a soldier, I wish good luck and strong will. This will not be an easy battle.” Nico stared down at the water droplets running down his smoothie. What happened when he left anyway? He knew things would change but he didn’t expect it to be this great. He fucked up real bad to have done this to Jason.   
“Is it alright if I… asked what happened when I left?” Percy and Thalia glanced at each other then Thalia nodded.  
“I’m not the one to tell that story as I was not here during that night you left. Percy here though, he can fill you up with the happenings.”   
“I really don’t want to tell you about that story… it’s like I’m cheating on Jason if I told you about it.” Thalia snickered good-heartedly. She had been around when he Percy started to take their bromance on a whole new level.  
“Shut up Percy or I’m telling Annabeth you’re full on gay for my brother now.”   
“Fine.” Percy sighed and looked at Nico, his eyes narrowing as he remembered that day. “It was raining when I saw Jason walking aimlessly along the main street. I said hi a couple times but he didn’t even notice me so I grabbed him and told him I’ll treat him to some drinks. He just stared at me and nodded. So I brought him to a bar, that bar we always hanged out in? yeah so I called the gang. Piper, Reyna, Leo and Annabeth came. We tried to talk to Jason but he just kept chugging down anything. Soon enough he was singing Someday we’ll Know and that’s when we got scared haha.. you don’t want to hear him sing when he’s intoxicated. Reyna was late a few hours and being the direct person she is, came up to Jason and asked what the hell his problem was and where the hell you were, to which Piper shushed her for. So we told her that we couldn’t r reach you. And then Jason started saying things like “I loved him… what did I do wrong… fuck.” Things like that and so Reyna had enough and told us she’ll take care of Jason since he was after all, her childhood friend.” Percy paused a while to drinking his blue berry smoothie then continued. “We stayed at the bar for a few more hours until Piper got a call from Reyna saying Jason ran out of her car when they were stuck under the stop light. We panicked and left in a hurry to look for Jason. Man it was like the Olympics. We were running, jumping and sliding through sloppy pavements until Reyna told us they were on the bridge leaving town and that we should hurry the fuck up the next thing we knew...” he took another sip of his smoothie and sighed. “Reyna was screaming into our phones and yelling “Jason!” really loudly. The idiot fell down from the bridge into the raging currents of the river. Man, were we scared.” Nico felt his hair stand as he listened to Percy’s story. It couldn’t be. Jason wasn’t like that. “He drowned, drank a whole lot of dirty water and was momentarily in a comatose for two weeks. He scared us. We took shifts looking after him. He was pale, paler than you actually like corpse pale and then he woke up, quite lifeless. Leo was the one looking after him when he woke up. It was hard to get his appetite back. He spoke small words and just held unto his necklace, some single wooden bead necklace.”  
“And that’s when I came back from service.” Thalia cut in. “Jason’s the only family I have. I don’t really consider our dad family anymore after Mom took away her life when Dad cheated on her multiple times and maybe I got scared that Jason might do the same so I came back as soon as I could only to find him drinking his nights away in his apartment, singing that stupid song for a while until he collected himself started going back to work again. But he was an idiot, he ruined his work and did a lot of mistakes that he was fired from the radio station. I insisted he take rehab, he kept denying me and just drank away telling me he’ll be okay in the morning.” Her voice was cracking as if the memories from years ago were haunting her again. “I couldn’t bear to see him like that so I suggested an alternative.” There was a heavy atmosphere between them three that Nico could feel his own heart pounding in his small chest. “I told him to come with me to the military and distract himself. At least that way, he’s helping not only himself, but also the people of his country.”   
“But that wasn’t the end of it, is it?” Nico asked. Now he was getting a much more clearer idea of the Jason he was about to face some day.  
“No. He did well in service but each time he came back here for vacation, he drank away, locking up in his apartment . He got injured countless of times and he doesn’t care if he bled or got stabbed. It’s like.. it’s like…” she took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. She didn’t want to cry, not now, especially not in front of Nico. “Like he didn’t have a purpose to live anymore. He did as he was told. He was diligent, silent and obedient. Men in the barracks would do dirty tricks on him like throw his boots into the mud or his uniform off its hanger and he didn’t care. He’d get punished but he wouldn’t complain no matter what. He’s just like a puppet and I miss the Jason, my little brother Jason who’d laugh about the silliest of things, smile at the sweetest and talk the honest. He’s just so hollow I don’t even know how to approach him anymore. He changed when you left. You’ve done a great damage on him Nico and we don’t know where to start fixing. It’s been seven years and it’s always like this with him. Tonight was an exception though. For the first time, he agreed to meet with us all in a small party. He smiled a little and laughed good-heartedly. I know he’s trying but he’s still hurting, probably still beating himself up.” 

Nico had his head bowed down as he tried to absorb all the new information. He took a deep breath and shook his head. It was not the time to blame his self. He just came back from Italy and this wasn’t the time to be giving up on something which had taken him years to build the courage for. Taking another deep breath, he looked at Thalia whose eyes were determined, waiting for an answer. She was still mad at him for throwing everything away, everything Jason built for them but if this was the chance she was waiting for, for Jason to begin a new page of his life, then she would be willing to take a risk and let Nico handle this delicate situation. A part of her knew that only Nico could fix this mess, the mess he made in the first place. She knew that Jason still held into that sliver of hope that Nico would come back. She knew because she saw it. Jason never threw any of Nico’s things. Instead, her brother kept them stored neatly and away from sunlight. Only one photo of them remained and it still stood in Jason’s room. She knew because she always came by every week to clean his apartment . 

“I know I should be mad at you for being a little bitch to my brother but he needs you and for once, I’ll swallow my guts and pride and let this happen. Please help us Nico. We’re losing him.”  
“I know and I’m sorry… I didn’t know I’d affect him in that way. I thought he’d be over me by the second year I didn’t come back. I was stupid for leaving him. I’ve only realized how much he had sacrificed for me after I found my sister and when Will left. Do you think he’ll forgive me? It’s been so long…” Nico casted a side way glance out of the window. It was dark out and low-light lit the streets. Thalia gave him a small smile and sat back.  
“I’m not sure Nico. He’s pretty unpredictable. It’s like meeting a whole new Jason Grace.” Nico smiled a little at that. A whole new Jason Grace, different from the man he had fallen in love with. How great had he changed since then? He didn’t know but there was only one way to find out. He had to try.  
“Alright. I’ll try my best.”   
“That’s my man!” Percy cheered. He stood up from his chair and squished Nico in his arms. Nico missed bone crushing hugs like these ones and he was grateful for Percy.   
“Well I’ll be on my way. I just received a text that Jason left the party. Either he’s going to go home or to that bar again I need to check up on him. You know how he is when he’s drunk.” Thalia pushed her chair back and stood. “It’s been a pleasure to meet the guy who had the privilege to break my brother’s heart.” She bowed then smirked, something that resembled Jason a bit. “Until next time.” Then she was out of the café.  
“She sure is different from Jason. He did mention he had a sister but I never met her… until today.”   
“She actually surprised us. Back when Jason was still in a coma, she came running and bumping nurses down the hall in her military uniform. Thalia’s a great person. There’s a more to her than being Jason’s sister but that’s her story to tell. Ah well it’s getting late. I’ll walk you back to your place.” 

They stood and left. The walk back to the hotel was a pleasant one. This was one of the reasons why Nico liked being with Percy. He felt weightless and the guy knew how to make jokes just as good as Leo. This was something he’d been missing out in the past years he was gone. He missed his friends, the funny jokes and the chats. It was a good decision to come back with his sister and try to connect with them again. It has got to be the greatest decision he ever made aside from dating Jason. Nico felt happy for a while. He hoped that this would be the start of a new beginning for them all. Yes he’ll do his best.


	3. I thought I heard you call my name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People tried to add color.

Jason had a good time that night. To be frank, he hadn’t felt that good in a long time. He wanted to feel more of that for the days he was going to stay in town but then the image of Nico smiling at the café earlier kept him in check. Too much happiness usually has its down side. He looked around and spotted Leo, sneakily taking a taste of the cake that was for Jason.

 

“Leo!” the Spanish American jolted before slowly turning his head to meet Jason. His features changed as a nervous smile settled on his lips.

“Jason! Perfect timing! You need to try this cake man. It’s over the top.” Leo exclaimed, shamelessly taking a fork to take a small piece.

“Nah I’m okay. It’s kinda late and I just got back from service. Mind if I slip out now? I can feel my body shutting down and I’d really appreciate doing that in my bed.”

“Ah I see. Don’t worry man, we understand. Superman needs his beauty sleep after all.” Jason laughed. “Good night then.”

“Good night.”

 

Jason excused himself from the crowd and slipped out of the building, the cool breeze finally hitting his nearly flushed face. He drew his coat tighter around him as he began his walk back to his apartment . It was a lovely night and as he looked up at the sky littered with countless of stars, he couldn’t help the smile that formed. He’ll try. He’ll start now. It had been a while since he felt purpose again and it was probably time he moved on. He still had to stop his drinking habits but tonight, he’d sleep peacefully. That’s what he’ll do and he won’t let Nico ruin that. Bitter as it may sound, he really didn’t want to feel bad anymore. He wasn’t like this. He used to be so dependable and cheery, always going along and joking with his friends. Yes he may be serious but there were situations that called for that. It was in his nature to round up his friends when they were breaking. That was the Jason Grace he knew and he was determined to bring that Jason back, not only for his good but for everyone else as well.

 

This was only the beginning of it.

 

The next day, Percy had called on their small group of friends to meet him at the hotel where Nico and Hazel stayed at. Most of them came save for Reyna and Annabeth. Something told Nico there was tension between Percy and his girlfriend. In the room Nico and Hazel shared stood four other people, Piper, Leo, Frank and Thalia. Leo fidgeted in his seat, not sure where to place his butt. It made Hazel chuckle. Piper on the other hand had her eyes on Nico. They were assessing him, cautious. Frank and Thalia were talking about battle strategies realizing that Frank was one of Jason’s military friends, seeing the camouflage made Nico think for a moment. They weren’t really expecting Nico to come back after all the years he had been gone. The moment he opened the door, Piper scowled. Unfortunately, Percy didn’t brief them on why they were to meet up at this certain room in a certain hotel. Nico didn’t mind Piper’s looks. He never really liked Piper anyway.

 

“So I hope you guys know why you’re here.” Percy started, sounding a little bit nervous. “As you can see, Nico’s back.”

“Whoopie.” Piper deadpanned.

“Thank you Piper really. I know this is hard for everyone especially you since Jason…” Percy gulped. “Okay back to the track. So I know every one of us is worried about our blond friend named Jason. He hasn’t been the same ever since the drown. This may sound selfish but I want the old Jason back.”

“We all do man…” Leo sighed then looked at Nico. “So what’s the plan?”

“I haven’t really thought that much… All I had in mind was talk to him.” Nico admitted, sinking in his chair.

“I know he’ll listen to you Nico.” Hazel assures a soft smile on her face. “From all the stories you told me, Jason sounds like an understanding man. I’m sure he’ll listen.”

“If that Jason still exists.” Piper cut in. She released at breath she had been keeping then shook her head. “I want to help Jason in any way. We tried everything you know but it only resulted to him exploding or some sort. He made walls that are hard to break. Sure he lives normally but when he loses it, his habit of drinking his problems away is the problem. Last time we went to the doctor, he was poisoned. He drank too much, he vomited blood. Though it never happened again, I’m worried.”

“I’m really sorry I had you guys go through a lot. I know what I did was a dick move and there’s no one else to blame but me. I just…” Nico sighed, burying his face in his hands as he chest began to tighten. “I just want to fix things with Jason. I’ve been an asshole. I cheated. I’m such an idiot for realizing so late of the good that has already come to me but… if I hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have met my sister.” Now Nico was looking up at them, his eyes fixed on every one of them. “I really want to try and fix things between Jason and I.” most of them looked away, holding a breath they couldn’t let go of.

 

Sure they were mad at Nico but he was a part of their circle before. He had been there when the group were falling out and was one of the people and fixed their severed friendship with one another especially after Jason and Piper broke up. The group was divided into two. There had been a lot of misunderstanding but Nico helped them during the darkest of their days because he knew what it was like when no one cared, when no one noticed that you’re putting up a front. No wonder Jason fell in love with him. He saw right through Jason’s walls, something Piper couldn’t do.

 

“Fine but there is only much we could do.” Piper breathed out, straightening her back against the chair she was sitting on.

“Anything for Jason.” Leo finally said and it made Percy smile.

 

For the first time, Nico felt like he was back where he belonged that he smiled at them.

 

 

Thalia was standing in front of Jason’s apartment  door. She could feel the coolness coming from the other side of the door and therefore concluded that her brother was still sleeping and probably suffering from a severe headache. She knew Jason well enough that she didn’t bother knocking but simply shoving her own duplicate of keys in the door knob then opening the door wide. She shivered at the coldness. It was that damn cold inside the apartment . It was almost noon and Jason still had his aircon turned on max. Just as she closed the door behind her, she smelt it.

 

Alcohol.

 

Disappointed as she may be, she couldn’t do anything about it. Instead, she walked to the living room where she was sure to find her baby brother sprawled on the carpet and she was right. Jason had his face buried on a pillow a blanket covering half his body. two bottles of wine were knocked over just near his sleeping figure and by the looks of Jason’s face, it was a rough night for the blond. He had tear stains on his handsome face. Thalia felt bad for him. This was what she liked to call the “Nico effect”. Year-after-year, Jason did this and no one had the power to stop him. Thalia squatted next to him and ran her hand through his blond hair, hair that he got from their father.

 

_“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you Jason.”_

_“I wish I had been here when you needed someone.”_

__

“Tha…lia?” Jason croaked, voice hoarse from his early morning drinking. He squinted his eyes to get a better look at her face.

“G’morning superman or should I say afternoon. Ate yet?” Jason just shook his head then groaned, definitely in pain. “I’ll get you some medicine. Stay there.” Then she stood up and went to the kitchen.

“Thanks…” she heard Jason whisper.

 

At times like this, she felt happy that she was needed, that she could help Jason but it was just a small thing, a short term need. She wished she could do something bigger than giving Jason medicine and preparing him meals. Returning from the kitchen, she handed him a glass of water and some advil. Slowly, Jason sat up and drank the medicine down, only to prop his head against Thalia’s shoulder.

 

“I’m so tired Thals…” he groaned, closing his eyes shut as his eyes started adjusting to the light that trespassed the blinds on his window.

“You should have slept in bed. Come on I’ll take you there.” Jason groaned but grunted in agreement anyways.

 

Thalia got up and waited for Jason to do the same. She watched as Jason got up slowly, finally leaning against her for strength as his head hung low. His dog tags jingled one last time before they made their way to Jason’s room. The whole apartment  needed a redo. The wallpaper were falling apart and most parts looked like they were rotting but Thalia knew Jason didn’t want to change any of those. It made him remember of Nico and on worst nights, it became a reminder how big the apartment  was for Jason alone. Pictures of them had been removed from the wall. There were clean patches on some areas which told that they have been taken down recently. She knew they were all in the guestroom along with all of Nico’s stuff. It was sad to think that Jason tried so hard yet he still couldn’t move on. Jason forced himself to take his shirt of while Thalia grabbed a new one and threw it at him, taking his time to wear it.

 

“I’ll be outside if you need anything Jace. Sleep tight.” Jason grunted in reply.

 

Thalia left his room then proceeded to add some temperature in the room starting with the AC. She turned it off then went to open every window in the apartment . It felt so much better now that light settled in it looked less gloomy now. Right, back to work. She made her way to the kitchen and started to prepare ingredients when her cellphone rang.

 

“Yep hello?”

“Hey Thalia.” It was Percy. “You with Jason by any chance?”

“I’m in the apartment . Why?”

“I was wondering if you could come down and meet me at the usual café.” Thalia thought for a moment. Jason was asleep anyway…

“Sure I’ll meet you there.”

“Great! See you in 10 minutes!” then he hung up.

 

Thalia slid her phone back into her jeans pocket and simply walked out of the apartment . She had a feeling that this was going to be a good one.

 

 

_Music played quietly in their living room. Jason was sprawled out on the carpet with his books surrounding him. It was his final month in college and his thesis was driving him crazy. Nico had actually stopped just before he reached his last year in college due to his father cutting him completely. Instead, he worked at the diner a few minutes away from their new apartment . As much as Jason insisted he’d pay for Nico’s tuition, though it was a sweet gesture, Nico had to decline. It was his problem in the first place. He watched his significant other sleep soundly with a Winnie the Pooh blanket made Nico smile. Slowly and carefully, he reached for Jason and stroked his hair. The then planted a kiss on the blond’s temple and whispered:_

_“Grazie per essere nella mia vita…” he smiled. He knew Jason wouldn’t have heard that. The blond was a heavy sleeper after all. “Prometto tornerò con voi tutta la mia vita. Sempre.” Then he nuzzled his head against Jason’s neck, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath of Jason’s scent._

__

“What are you thinking of?” Nico was snapped out of his day dream when Hazel nudged him on the side. She had a small smile on her face as if she knew the answer already.

“I was just thinking about a memory-“

“Oh mind sharing?” Percy piped up, putting down their orders on the table. Leo and Piper perked up from their seats as they looked at Nico expectantly. It made Nico blush for some reason. These were his memories of Jason. They were exclusively for him only.

“D-do you really want to know about such a small memory? It doesn’t even include you guys…” Nico felt his cheeks burn as the memory became more vivid on his mind.

“Of course! Never hurts to share a memory.” Nico took a deep breath and everyone closed in.

“I-it was…” he blushed harder, burying his face with his hands. “It was during his final month with his thesis I-i…” he swallowed hard, his ears as red as tomato as the scene played in his mind. Gods why was his heart beating so hard? Leo snickered at his reaction while Piper smiled fondly. She missed teasing Nico until he was as red as a tomato. “I just came home from work then and I found him sleeping on the carpet with his books and files around him and I just said some things to him…” he looked down, fidgeting with his trembling fingers.

“What things?” Leo asked in mock innocence. Nico shot him a glare that faltered.

“D-do I have to tell you guys?!”

“Yes.” Thalia cut in with a smirk, sitting next to Piper. “As his sister, I need to know these things.” Nico sighed again, now staring adamantly at his and Hazel’s shared banana split.

“Grazie per essere nella mia vita… Prometto tornerò con voi tutta la mia vita. Se-sempre…” Hazel giggled. She understood while the others didn’t.

“What did that mean?” Percy and Leo asked in unison. Now it was Nico’s turn to smirk.

“Go google it.” Percy and Leo deapartment ed in their seats, now turning their gaze to Thalia.

 

They had a long talk that they hadn’t noticed the time slipping by.

 

 

Jason groggily got up from bed and looked around. He was back in his room. Weird. He didn’t remember sleeping here. Carefully, he forced himself up from his bed, resulting to him falling and hitting the wall next to him. __Ouch.__ His headache had lessen a bit but it didn’t mean it hurt any less, keeping his bearings, he got out of his room and walked slowly to the kitchen where he found Thalia and Leo preparing dinner. It wasn’t common to see his friends in his own apartment  but it felt nice to see some other people than Thalia. He felt like he was weighing her down too much.

 

“Hey there superman. Slept alright?” Leo greeted, looking away from his pot for a moment to see Jason fall off his stool just in time. “Man you had it hard.” He snickered.

“It feels like a thousand bricks hit me or something… ugh.” Jason got to his feet again and sat on the stool he initially planned on sitting. Thalia placed a glass of water in front of him and a plate of pasta she and Leo just whipped up not a moment ago.

“Eat. I’m sure your stomach is screaming right now.” She smiled then went back to chopping onions.

“Thanks. How long have you guys been cooking?”

“Roughly two hours. Went out to buy grocery for you and I happen to see Leo. Seeing his face made me crave for some pasta.” Thalia explained, putting more plates of food in front of Jason.

“I’m offended. You sound so racist Thalia.” But he wasn’t really. It made Jason smile, somehow warming his still cold body. “By the way, I have a friend whose coming to town next week and she wanted to throw a birthday party at the beach. Remember that fancy hotel near the beach? That place and since it’s a masquerade kinda thing, I think you’d like it because you’re into those stuff right? Musicals I mean.” Jason chuckled, shaking his head while Thalia’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“You like musicals? I didn’t know that.”

“Oh you should have seen him sing the songs after he’s done obsessing with one movie. It was hilarious! He even out-sassed Percy!”

 

Now the three of them were laughing. Jason remembered that time. He was still in his second year of college…

 

_The gang was lounging around the cafeteria when Jason came back, dazed and completely star struck. He had just came back from one of their org’s out of campus trips and he felt like he was in cloud nine as he sat next to Leo who was busy doing mathematical problems on his side while Frank and Percy talked about the season’s upcoming basketball tournament. Nico on the other hand was just staring at Frank and Percy, or more accurately, at Percy. No one really noticed it except Jason. Nico had a huge crush on Percy Jackson and the only proof Jason had was how Nico looked at Percy. Sitting down, his friends welcomed him._

_“So how was the play? You look really happy.” Percy asked, tossing Jason a box of orange juice._

_“You know it man, just got to watch one of the famous musicals in state ever.” Jason said dreamingly. Frank and Percy just stared at him._

_“You know, you’re the only guy I’ve ever met who looks that happy after watching a musical.” Frank said, grinning at his friend in mild amusement._

_“You’re such a cinnamon roll Jason.” Nico added, snickering to himself, finally breaking his stare from Percy to look at Jason’s face._

_“You guys don’t understand.” Jason shook his head as he took a sip of his orange juice. Leo finally slammed his notebook close and sighed._

_“Finally done! Ugh that took me an hour for just three formulas!” he screamed half-heartedly, snatching Jason’s juice box to drink most of the remaining contents. “So there’s a party at the beach tonight. Calypso said I can bring you guys. Since finals just ended, why don’t we have some fun?”_

_“What kind of fun?” Frank asked._

_“The regular booze and stuff. It’d be fun! You guys game?” Leo was already packing his things before any of them could answer. Taking that as a sign, they stood from their seats._

_“Whose hitching with who?” Percy asked as he remembered the mess his truck was in. “mine’s full of dump I can only accommodate one person.”_

_“Take Nico.” Jason piped up, a small smirk creeping up the ends of his lips. Though Nico had never told him, he knew._

_“Pass. I don’t wanna sit in one of Jackson’s mess. I’m going with Grace.” The Italian gave the blond a short glare before moving his gaze to Leo who started snickering._

_“That’s mean. Frank you wanna?” Percy turned to his left where Frank was situated fixing his hoodie._

_“Sure man. Just gotta text my grandma about her medicine.” Everyone just looked at him. “What?”_

_“Nothing… Finally! A guy’s night out with his buddies!” Nico and Jason chuckled. “I swear if we were to stay in this cafeteria for another hour, I would have started licking the mango colored walls.”_

_“Percy that’s gross.” Nico complained._

_The five of them got the parking lot in a minute then split; Frank went with Percy while Nico and Leo went with Jason. The two, Nico and Leo, looked at one another while Jason made his way to the driver’s seat._

_“What the hell are you guys doing over there?” he mused as he punched the unlock button on his keys._

_“di Angelo here seems like he’s gonna steal my spot at the front seat.”_

_“As if Leo. I always sit in the front seat with Jason.”_

_“Since when did rule applied? I always sat in the front seat.”_

_“And change radio stations? I don’t think so Valdez so if you’ll excuse me.” Nico grabbed the car’s handle and went in, sitting on the front seat as he stuck his tongue out at the fuming Leo._

_“It’s not so bad at the back Leo. Come on man, let’s get to that party.” Jason said as he revved up his Audi S8. It was his dad’s way of saying thank you for being their obedient son._

_Once everyone was seated, Jason turned the AC on full blast since he wasn’t really a fan of the heat then drove off to Calypso’s place. Nico didn’t bother asking Jason permission anymore and turned the speakers on. They settled for the normal pop songs starting with Maroon 5’s “one more night”._

_“Your playlist is awful. It’s like someone’s cheated you or something.” Leo commented on the song choice._

_“Well if you’re into classics like me, most people are cheats.” Jason snarled. He took a sideways glance at Nico then at Leo who looked at them expectantly._

_“Jason has a thing for songs like these. You should see the rest of his playlist, it’s just sad.”_

_“Like yours is any better pfft.”_

_“Rock songs are not sad!”_

_“Punk rock you mean.”_

_They argued all the way to the beach with Leo watching the two of them. They didn’t even bother to ask Leo why he was so quiet and it amused the Spanish American to no end. He was still oblivious of Jason’s crush on Nico but he already liked how the two bickered. Once they arrived at the beach, they were greeted by their other friends. Reyna, Piper and Annabeth were already there helping people. Leo was tackled into a crushing hug by the hostess herself. Calypso herself welcomed them before pulling Leo away from them. Jason saw Nico move away from the crowd and to Percy and Frank’s direction which was somewhere near the food table. Jason wasn’t really fond of parties so he found himself outside where a great fire was blazing near the shore. He grabbed himself a bottle of coke (since he was going to drive these guys’ drunken asses home) from the cooler and sat somewhere quiet where no one would dare bother him. it was quite for a while until Reyna decided to come sit with Jason who was close to dozing off on his spot._

_“Why’re you here alone? Why aren’t you with the others?” she said as she sat next to his spot on the log._

_“Can’t get myself drunk tonight; driving.” He held up his bottle of coke before taking a swig. “Plus, I’m not in the mood to talk  with strangers.”_

_“I know why.” Then she took a sip of her beer. She had a knowing smirk on her lips as she looked out at the rolling waves on the shore. “It’s because of him that you don’t want to see other people huh?” and as if on cue, Nico joined them with a cup of beer himself._

_“You guys are missing out on the fun. Leo just threw his shirt down a moment ago.” Nico said jokingly._

_“I’m fine here.” Jason answer as he stared at the Italian downing the last of his cup’s contents, oblivious of Jason staring at him._

_“Well I’ll leave you two for now.” Reyna got up and left. From the corner of Jason’s vision, he saw her slung her arm around Piper and Annabeth’s shoulders._

_“What are you doing here all alone?” Jason had stared at him for a moment and thought of an answer. Aside from the reason he gave Reyna, he really didn’t want to see Nico next to Percy._

_“I didn’t want to see you.” Jason calmly said, taking a sip of his coke to calm down his nerves which had started to heat up his skin._

_“What the fuck does that mean? We were in your car just a moment ago.”_

_The thing about their relationship, their friendship was, it was fragile. Just one wrong word it would have been the end of their relationship as friends. Jason knew things about Nico that no one ever knew though the other knew nothing of him, which was unfair. It would turn out that Jason was just there for convenience and a frustration outlet, especially when Nico was frustrated with a certain sea-eyed guy. But whatever, Nico needed to know,_

_“Basically what I’m trying to say is, I don’t want to see you with Percy. It just pisses me off.” Came Jason’s annoyed answer. When did he started to feel frustrated about Percy? They were good friends._

_“Percy and I are just friends-“_

_“But you wish you weren’t just friends right?” Jason snapped. His grip on his bottle was vice. He didn’t like the words that spill from his lips. “You wanted something more. Something Annabeth has.”_

_“Where is this all coming from? What’s wrong with you?” there was that annoyed look on Nico’s face as he too gripped on his empty cup._

_“You think I don’t know? We’ve been friends for a year now and I know those fleeting looks you give Percy. You’re in love with him and the fact that you can’t do anything about it frustrates you but you know what else is more fucked up? It’s the fact that I’ve fallen for you too despite the multiple times you don’t listen to me, despite the times I told you no, you would always say yes to Percy. How many times have I’ve been in the same cafe with you at ungodly hour, trying to reassure you that everything is going to be fine? Because I’m here…” Jason took swallowed. “Because I’m here for you even if you don’t want me to. Because I will be here no matter what fucking happens because I…” Jason shook his head. Out of anger, he threw his bottle of coke somewhere and walked away._

_Leo saw him on his way to the exit and was about to call the blond when he realized that Jason looked pissed. He didn’t bother calling Jason as he passed the Spanish American. Instead, he just watched as his best friend drove off, leaving him and his other friends wondering of their ride back home._

__

“Remember Calypso’s place by the beach man?” Jason was pulled out from his thoughts as he heard Leo’s voice.

“Yeah I do. How is she?” he asked out of politeness. He didn’t actually care.

“She’s good; running the family business. So the hotel with the party,  it’s her hotel and some of our common friends will be there to celebrate with my friend’s birthday. Her name’s Hazel Levesque and since she’s new in town, she asked me if I could invite you guys to her party. Not bad right? And we can stay at the hotel for the night since there’d be alcohol.” At the mention of the word, Thalia shifted.

“I’ll be fine Thalia, I can manage. You don’t need to baby me every time you know.”

“Just looking out for you that’s all.” Then she looked at her watched and clicked her tongue upon realizing it was quiet late. “Shoot! I gotta go guys! See you tomorrow Jason!” she kissed his cheek and left in a hurry. Where she was going, Jason had no idea.

“it’s getting late too. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“See you man.”

 

Jason walked him to the door and bit one final farewell then closed the door. Since he had the whole day asleep, he was energized to do anything so the first thing he did was clean. He had to rid himself of items that reminded him of Nico. He needed to move on and cleaning them out should be the first step. What he didn’t know what a week from now, he’d meet Nico again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not sure about the Italian parts... I got it from google and we all know that Google Translate is not accurate... but if you do search the meaning up in Google Translate, it'll still be the same.


	4. No Erase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of sparkle then void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you write summaries? This will probably be long...

Leo did mention it was a masquerade kind of party so Jason thought he had to dress up nice. Reading all those classical pieces did give him an idea on what to wear but his time in service gave him enough insecurity to even push through with his initial plan. Besides, he didn’t even know who the lady was. All he knew was her name and her career. According to Leo, he met Hazel when her bike broke down in front of the local bakery shop since then, they kept in touch. Hazel was a pianist, a music graduate and an aspiring artist. From Leo’s stories, she seems like a good person and Jason was quite excited to meet her in person. It had been a while since he met new people he liked and he was sure he’d like Hazel.

 

That day, Leo came over bring a bag of costumes he found from a shop near the theater. Earlier, he had asked Jason to help him pick a set he should wear for the night since he was a mechanic and had no sense of fashion.

 

“So I have to wear a cravat with this shirt and coat? Man this is going to be hot… not that I’m not hot enough.” He winked.

“Oh god can you please don’t get started on that I swear I’ll lock you up in this apartment .”

“Oh come on Jason! You know the ladies would be sad if they didn’t see me tonight.” Jason sighed in defeat.

 

He was still half naked with a towel wrapped around his waist. He had just gone out of the shower when Leo came knocking on his door. Jason’s clothes were set perfectly on the sofa while Leo’s mess was everywhere. His pile of clothes was even bigger than Jason’s laundry.

 

“Alright alright. Just wear that already or we’ll be late.”

 

In fact, they were going to be late. They only had twenty minutes before the party actually started and it took exactly twenty minutes to get the venue. Just as Jason turned to walk to his room, Leo’s gaze followed him or rather his back. The blond’s back had a series of scars from the past three years on field. There were burn marks and slashes here and there but the most brutal looking scar was the one on his lower back, the point where his spine almost ended. It made Leo shudder at how grotesque Jason’s back looked and it made him feel bad. He wondered how painful it was to be struck on the back. Should Jason be on body braces or something? How come he could still stand straight? Leo’s train of thought was cut off when his phone ringed. It was Hazel.

 

[5:46] Hazel: Are you on your way?

[5:47]Leo: Still getting ourselves pretty. What about you guys?

[5:47]Hazel: Nico’s pretty nervous aside from that, everyone’s here even Thalia. We’re just waiting for you two.

[5:48]Leo: We’ll be there in a while ;) don’t miss me too much.

[5:49]Hazel: You’re such a weirdo. See you in a bit.

[5:49]Leo: See you.

 

Leo shut off his phone and got himself dressed. He hoped this was going to end well.

 

Leo squirmed in his dress shirt. Apparently, he hadn’t had the time to wash it and it was starting to itch against his skin. As they approached the double doors to the party, they placed the masks on their faces and continued. So far, the crowd was cheering. There seemed to be a game going on at the middle of the room. It got the best of Jason and on closer inspection; it was Percy sword sparring with a… lady who looked like Thalia from afar. Jason was right. It was Thalia. Despite the feathery mask on her face, the blue eyes gave her away. She wore her signature smirk as she single handedly beat Percy.

 

“That actually hurt.” Percy complained, getting up from the floor with Annabeth helping him up. She had a smile on her face as Percy got up. It was actually quite a sight to find Percy down on his ass.

“It was pretty fun to watch nonetheless.” Annabeth supplied. Thalia just laughed that off.

“So who’s next to get their butt kicked?” Thalia looked around and she spotted Jason amongst the crowd. She held her right hand out and motioned for her brother to come over, something about it made Leo laugh. “C’mere brother.”

“Are you sure about that?” Jason had taken the sword from Percy and stood opposite of Thalia.

 

Percy and Annabeth got out of the way and called for Hazel and Nico to come and stand watch. At the sight of Jason’s figure, Nico shuddered. A pang of nostalgia washed over him as he stared point blank at the blond pointing his fake sword at his sister as a ball of nervous energy wash over him once again. He hadn’t stop shaking since that morning by the very thought of seeing Jason again. From where he stood, Nico watched as the siblings started on their swordplay and for a moment, his world did that slow motion thing. For the first time in seven years, Jason smiled a warm smile that Nico had missed so much that it almost brought him to tears. Seeing this, Hazel moved close to her brother and gave his hand a firm squeeze then smiled. She knew how hard it had been for Nico to go along with all of this. A moment later, the crowd erupted into cheers as Jason fell to his back in defeat. Nico was just about to dash to him when Hazel pulled him back and shook her head no. He couldn’t jeopardize their plan this early just yet. Staying on his spot, Nico watched Percy pull Jason up with a friendly pat on the back.

 

“And now that everyone is finally here, let’s start our party!” Hazel announced.

 

Jason was ushered to a round table where Frank was sitting alone, tapping away on his phone. By the looks of it, his friends had planned something. How did he know? They had that look on their faces and Leo was doing the eyebrow thing with Percy which looked really ridiculous that even Annabeth had to roll her eyes to save herself from the embarrassment. Piper and Reyna were at the buffet table getting some food to share with their friends and Leo… well Leo was missing which was weird because the Spanish American was always the first person Jason always noticed. Being best friends with the guy since primary school made an effect on Jason and now that he can’t see Leo, he worried.

 

“Jason.” Frank called who had set down his phone and was now taking a sip of his drink. He had his glasses on which meant he was in his business mode. Unlike the other guests, Frank was dressed in a black suit and he didn’t wear a mask which also meant he just came back from work. “Have you met the birthday host? I heard she’s nice. Leo never actually introduced us.” Which was a lie. He had been seeing Hazel since they planned the party.

“I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her myself as well. I heard she is nice though.”

“I heard she’s been practicing for a big recital next year- speaking for Hazel, hello there.”

 

Jason followed Frank’s line of vision and saw a lady with caramel colored skin approach them. She also didn’t wear a mask like Frank and Jason was glad she didn’t. As she approached, Jason had to agree that Hazel looked nice and gentle like Leo said. There was a warm smile on her lips as she made her way to them with a lean guy following after her. This one had a mask on though. His hair was swept back like James bond and his attire was ready for the kill. It was all black. The only different color in his attire was the bow tie around his neck which was a nice color of white that contradicted his dark outfit. Other than that, he seemed normal a bit attractive but Jason didn’t let himself go that far.

 

“Good evening. I believe you are Jason Grace. Leo has been talking about?” Jason stood up from his seat and smiled.

“Yes I am Jason Grace, it is nice meeting you Miss Hazel.” Then he held his hand out for a handshake which Hazel took in delight.

“You can just call me Hazel..” and then she moved her gaze to Frank who had been staring since she came. “Frank I assume?”

“Yes ma’am. Frank Zhang.”

 

The guy behind Hazel snorted. Frank just shot the guy a glance. Assessing the situation, Jason had never seen Frank look at a girl this long that it almost made Jason snort himself. Realizing this, he excused himself to give Frank and Hazel some time to themselves. The guy also excused himself and was now heading for the buffet table. Jason on the other hand went to Piper and Reyna at the bar area, sitting next to Piper. Upon situating himself next to his past lover, both ladies turned their gaze at him.

 

“Leo’s missing and I think Frank is crushing on Hazel so I left. Mind if I sit with you guys?”

“Not at all.” Reyna raised her glass and took a sip. “So how’s military life treating you? We haven’t had the chance to talk about our careers recently and I’m curious what’s got you busy up north.”

“It was fine most of the time until the other soldiers started being assholes because I was the General’s son.” Jason called the bartender to give him something light. “It was like high school again but only this time I had the choice to fight back.” He chuckled.

“That’s military for you. I heard Thalia had a fair share of her fights there because of the same situation.” Piper piped in, a small smile making its way to her lips as she remembered the first time she met Thalia. “But the benefits though, you have to agree it’s great.”

“Tell me about it. I don’t even know where to use all those benefits because it’s just me. Thalia has her own.”

“I’ve had a hard time with the benefits.” Reyna grumbled. “It’s been seven months and things are still fucked up back in the company. Maybe I should join you guys there up north.” Then she drank all the contents of her glass in one go out of frustration.

“Well the army is always open but the job is quite hard. If you don’t mind not eating in two or three days then welcome aboard. Not to mention the months of training before being dispatched to the field, it was a nightmare.”

“I can imagine you on all fours, crawling under that net contraption just to get out only to do it a few minutes later.” There was a collective chuckle within their small group.

“I do remember doing something similar back in college with Percy and Leo. You guys ever heard of that story?”

“No. Percy and Leo didn’t mention it to any of us.” – Reyna

“Wait did this happen a few days before our last Christmas party where Percy had that bad undercut and Leo had his hair straightened for some reason? Because I swear I’ve never seen Leo that upset hahaha.” –Piper

“Yeah! It was that week when Percy decided to have a camp out. We were supposed to bring Frank along since he has more muscles than the most of us but he was gone back to Canada. So anyway Percy gathered most of the guys which was me and Leo, planned a trip up in the mountains with this retreat kind of thing and the next thing we knew, we were running around hoops, climbing up walls and crawling through mud. You should have seen Percy dive in the mud pool and cry in the middle of crawling saying ‘Why do I torture myself like this.’ While Leo on the other side of me simply laid still on his spot covered with mud.” He didn’t notice it but a smile and a familiar warmth was starting to creep inside of Jason’s chest. It was a fond memory of him with his friends. “Though before that all  transpired, we had a deal. Whoever won from the three of us gets the ultimate price of following one order from the winner and I won thus, undercut Percy by yours truly and straightened hair Leo by Percy.”

 

And then they the three of them laughed, Reyna having to cover her lips to prevent a snort from escaping. It had been a while since they all laughed together without the tension of Jason’s past.

 

“Oh my gods, I did not expect that. Was that why you guys were gone for three days?” – Piper

“Yeah. Some kind of bro bonding Percy called it.” – Jason

 

From a distance, Nico watched under his mask. He wanted so bad to be there and listen too but they had other plans, plans that didn’t include him that much. He was starting to wonder if their plan would even be successful.

 

“Missing your man?”

 

Nico looked to his left to find an unmasked Leo holding a plate of food.

 

“Go away Leo.” Nico sighed and downed his glass of champagne.

 

So far so good. Hazel was sitting on the same table Frank was in, at least she was having fun in their made up party. Things could have been better if Nico wasn’t such a coward. Here he was standing in one of those pop-up tables, eating finger foods and drinking champagne while he looked at his past lover from a far. A sad sight but it was the best he could do for the time being but he told himself he wasn’t just going to stand tonight. At some point, he had to make his move and approach Jason. As far as he knew, the blond doesn’t even know he was back.

 

“Aw man no need to be stingy. I am Jason’s best friend so you gotta treat me a lot better than that.” The Spanish American was now putting down his plate on the table Nico perched himself and started eating, also following Nico’s gaze. He waved as Jason noticed him looking at their direction. “Seems like superman’s catching up.”

“You’re ruining the whole plan you know.”

“Basically, the plan is to make you and Jason talk. That’s it. So everything I do tonight is for you and Jason to have that chance to clear things up because I love my best friend and I think he’s the only in this little group of us who isn’t going to get married soon.” To emphasis what he just said, Leo pointed at Piper and Reyna. From where they stood, it was visible that they were holding hands. “Beauty Queen there and Reyna are married, a year ago. Thalia? She’s also set on getting married with that Luke Castellan guy next month. Jason doesn’t know that yet. As for Percy and Annabeth, they already have a little Percy with them. As for me and Frank… well you can see Frank now.” Said person was a having a good talk with Nico’s sister as they speak. “I, on the other hand, well I’m still at the process of asking Calypso out. Again. I think. The girl’s nuts sometimes but I think it’s her I want to grow old with.” Then the Spanish American sighed. “Jason was the same with you. He didn’t need anyone else as long as he had you.”

“Sucks for me I threw that chance away.” Nico answered sarcastically but he still hoped there was still a chance.

“Hmm I don’t know.” And then Leo smiled; that kind of smile that made other people nervous. “I don’t want to spoil.”

“You seem like you know something.”

“Do I?”

 

Suddenly, the lights dimmed and the music slowed down. Hazel was back on stage once again. A new band had come up on stage and soon enough, there was this chilly atmosphere inside the venue whilst Hazel singing a song in Italian Nico had grown to love in the past years he had lived there. For a moment, Nico forgot about the reason why he was here. He was caught in the moment that he didn’t notice people forming on the dance floor to dance.

 

Piper and Reyna had left Jason in their spot to dance. Watching his friends was a beautiful sight. It gave his mind room to think about how much things have grown between them and he had missed the times to see them grow. It must be great to have been there when Reyna proposed to Piper. Now that he thought about it, he was already twenty-eight; the age where most people were either married or marrying. But then again... no one was expecting him to get married. Thalia was already in her thirties yet she still wasn’t engaged or anything. Yet the thought lingered in his mind and somehow, it got him thinking of Nico again. Maybe if things weren’t messed up, he would have married Nico… if Nico would have him.

 

‘Heh, what a load of bullshit.’ Jason thought.

 

He called the bartender and started asking for much stronger drinks. Jason hated himself for doing this. Starting was always so hard to do. Starting to stop this bad habit of drinking was hard. Starting to move on was also hard. Starting a new page in his life was the hardest. Why was it so-so hard? The self-control he tried to build always crumbled before his resolve even built. This was useless but he tried. He did. Always.

 

By his third glass of tequila, Jason was feeling warm. He pulled his mask off and simply took another glass from the bartender who was starting to regret giving Jason the first three glasses. The sudden pat on his shoulder made Jason jump. He lifted his gaze up to find the masked guy with Hazel earlier standing behind him.

 

“Can I help you…?” he asked, too warm for his suit.

“Come with me.”

 

Without waiting for Jason to answer, Nico pulled Jason off his stool and into the dance floor. Jason was confused. He was still under the impression that the masked guy was someone he didn’t entirely know when in fact it was Nico all along. Despite his obliviousness to determine who the masked guy was, Jason followed. He wasn’t that cautious with strangers so he let himself get pulled into the dance floor despite the eyes that followed them. They stopped on a spot and the masked guy turned around to face him. There was determination in his dark eyes that sent chills up Jason’s spine as they locked eyes together.

 

“We’re going to dance.” The all too familiar voice said.

 

 Grabbing his arm, the guy pulled Jason’s arms then wrapped it around his waist while his free hand held Jason’s free hand firmly. He wasn’t that embarrassed to play as the girl in their dance and so they danced to Hazel’s soft singing. Still confused, Jason went along with it. He could see and hear his friends snickering around him and it felt like college all over again. His heart thumped wildly in his chest as he danced with the mysterious man, Under the dim lights, Jason swore he could see the man blushing and for a moment, he reminded him of Nico. The familiar feel of the man before him made him relax to the extent he laid his head on the man’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Nico was in town and the man before him was screaming Nico from the height, the scent, skin color and attitude and for a while, it made Jason’s heart flutter and palms sweaty. This was definitely Nico. As if sensing his realization, Nico stopped and tried to calm his beating heart. Had Jason noticed it was him all along?

 

Jason pulled himself off of masked Nico and stared. He lifted his right hand to Nico’s face and slowly pulled the mask off his blushing face. A smile crept the blond’s lips as the mask was discarded to the floor. In front of him stood Nico di Angelo, shocked and hesitating whether to throw his arms around the blond’s neck and kiss him or pull away and run now that Jason knew who he was under the mask.

 

“Why are you back?” a question Nico was never ready for.

“I…”

 

The singing had stopped and was now just slow music. People still continued to dance around them except their friends who were now watching them from a distance.

 

“I came back for you.” Nico whispered, never dropping his gaze from Jason’s eyes which were starting to scrutinize him.

“Came back for me?” Jason’s tone was harsh. He didn’t believe every word Nico said.

“You have to believe me-“

“And why would I?” he pulled away from the Italian and was ready to bolt out of the place if needed. “You left me remember?” his voice cracked at the end of his sentence to which he grinned at. He couldn’t afford to lose it now. “Weren’t we over years ago?”

“Jason just listen to me-“

“No!” Jason yelled that caught everyone’s attention that even the band stopped playing. “Who are you to just walk back in here and ruin my life again?” Jason was slowly taking steps back, his heart hammering inside of his chest as if it were to explode from pain. He had no idea how painful it was to be in the same situation as the protagonists in the movies he had watched. It was so painful he felt like a ticking time bomb.

“Just listen to me! I know what I did was really stupid and I’m telling you now that I’m here to fix things!” Nico yelled, taking a step forward closer to the blond. He knew that Jason would run any minute now. The guy didn’t like his pride being stepped on.

“Why? Did Will get tired of you already-“

 

SLAP!

 

“You have no right to say those things to my brother!” Hazel was in front of Nico in a second and already, she was feeling the burn of their fight. “You should at least give him the chance to right his wrongs Jason. I know you’re a man of chances and I know for a fact that you love my brother.”

“Stop that.” Thalia was now standing beside Jason, devastated that things had to come to this. She looked to her right to see Jason looking far. His eyes held that longing once again.

 

And then there was silence. Jason looked down on the floor, seething before lifting his gaze up once again. Sadness washed his eyes as Nico stare intently at Jason’s pained eyes.

 

“You clearly have no idea of what I had to sacrifice to make Nico happy.”

 

With that, he excused himself and left. As soon as Jason passed through the doors, Nico fell to his knees and sobbed. That was the sad part of all of this. He did know what Jason had to sacrifice for him. Jason was disowned by his own parents. Jason had to work part time in his last two years of college and Jason had to say goodbye to a family that used to shelter him for the sake of being with him. He knew everything up until their last day together. Nico muttered sorry repeatedly under his breath as Hazel held him in her arms.

 

 

Jason drove fast. He didn’t care about the traffic rules as he sped his way back to his apartment . The emotions inside of him wanted to explode and being in his car, going fast, he thought of just driving off the cliff but he knew better to just end it here. It had been too long since he last saw Nico and he did miss him. What Hazel said echoed in his mind. She was right. He should give Nico a chance to right his wrongs but that one wrong thing Nico did was so severe it left him empty for years that Jason had no idea what to feel anymore, how to tackle this situation while being positive. He wasn’t the same Jason he was when he and Nico were together. He was angry and bitter about their relationship. His life was in a ruin and he had no idea how to fix it himself. So how in the world could Nico even fix him? for now, he knew one thing; he couldn’t accept all of this in one night. He just couldn’t accept Nico back into his life when he has no life to get back into and god did it hurt. Everything hurt, his chest, his knees, his stomach, his head. He couldn’t control the stinging in his eyes anymore that he let the tears fall down his face and because of this, he didn’t see the income truck in front of him. it was too late to break and evade.

 

His car crashed straight into the truck.


	5. No going back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a little bit of the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't count how many words I have in each chapter... I think this is the longest one by far. I dunno because I'm also writing my Life is Strange Fanfic (GrahamScott) and that one is pretty long for every chapter. Okay so, comments would be nice. I don't know what to write next tbh... I'm planning to twist it a bit.
> 
> Chapter 6 is underway... I'm just busy with Midterms and all the usual College things that this is the only fanfic I'm working on huhuhu.

It was quarter to midnight when a certain blond pushed the double doors open in a panic. It wasn’t Jason but he resembled Jason only stronger and rougher. He had a huge scar on his face that it was hard not to look at. As soon as he got closer to their circle, Thalia got up from where she was sitting and hugged him tight.

 

“I came here as soon as I can…” the man breathed, taking a couple more inhales to catch his breath.

“What’s the emergency?” Thalia asked casually, helping her boyfriend with a glass of water an usher had kindly given them.

“Jason.” He panted that got everyone’s attention.

“What happened to him?”

“He’s in the hospital down town.”

“WHAT?!” everyone asked in unison. Even Nico and Hazel raised their heads to look at the man who brought the news to them.

“What happened to him?!” Leo asked in panic. He had thrown his costume somewhere long ago and was now wearing a new clean button up shirt and jeans. “Don’t tell me he’s dying please don’t.”

“He’s fine! I guess.. I brought the pick-up truck so let’s get going! I’ll tell the details on the drive to the hospital.”

“You guys go on without me. I need to settle things with Calypso.” Hazel said as she pushed Nico off of her, giving him an assuring smile and a hug. “Be there for him Nico.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll follow later. Just go Nico. I promise I’ll be there.”

“Let’s get going!” Percy chimed in and they were gone.

 

Nico glanced back at Hazel waving at them as he got up in a stranger’s pickup truck. Piper and Reyna had somehow managed to change their dressed into something much comfortable while Frank and Nico were still in their suits. Looking at them and listening to their silence, it made Nico’s stomach knot in fear and worry. He hoped Jason was okay.

 

 

_There was an awkward silence between Jason and Nico as they stood in Jason’s condo. It had only been a few hours since Jason’s outburst back in the beach yet Nico was ready to confront him about it. Unlike with Percy, he never felt nervous when he was with Jason despite the huge body difference between them. If it were Percy in front of him, he wouldn’t even have dared to come here alone and face him._

_Staring back at a frustrated Jason, Nico stood his ground and tipped his chin up a little. He didn’t fear Jason as much as the others did. He saw the guy explode but he knew Jason better than anyone else. The guy would most likely to control himself as long as he can rather than explode in front of someone._

_“Mind explaining to me what you just said back at the party?”_

_“What would it matter to you anyway? I know you Nico. You won’t even consider the chance- the chance of- ugh!” Jason smashed his palm on the table and sat down rather dramatically; bring his fists into his hair as he tried to maintain his cool. “Forget about it okay?”_

_“Don’t give me that crap. You’re being a self-sacrificing idiot again. Just tell me what’s on your mind.”_

_“No shit. I already told you but you’re just as dense as Percy.” Electric blues eyes looked hard on dark brown ones. There was wariness on Jason’s look. “Just leave already.”_

_Their hearts hammered inside of their chests as they shifted around each other; the tension clearly heavy around them. Jason walked to his room in hopes that Nico would just drop it but instead he was forcibly thrown forward with his face meeting with the dozen of text books he had laid on his bed in hopes of calming himself down that night. Obviously, the Italian thought it was a good idea to pin down the bigger male down his own bed to get some answers out of him._

_“I don’t have time to wait Jason, you know I’m an impatient person so just explain it to me already!” Nico, somehow, had managed to hold together Jason’s arms behind him, leaving the blond immobile with the Italian sitting on the curve of his back as if he weighted nothing._

_“Oh sure you don’t have time to wait but here I am, trying to make time and wait for the right time to say everything to you but I fucked up and let my emotions run over me and now I have a certain Italian forcing me to answer him because he can’t use his brain to understand himself.”_

_Nico yelped as Jason got up and pulled him beneath him. Now it was Jason on top of him; firmly holding his wrists above his head as if it wasn’t a comfortable position. They stared at one another for a while; feeling the heat seep off one another until Jason spoke:_

_“I never planned on telling you because crushes don’t last but guess what Nico, it’s been a year already and this stupid crush still hasn’t decreased the least bit. I know how hung up you are with Percy that I didn’t stand a chance. Let’s face it, even if you say Percy isn’t your type, he really everything you’re looking for.” He paused, swallowing hard so his voice wouldn’t crack. “But at the same time, it pisses me off at how stupid you are towards Percy. The guy’s seeing someone for crying out loud yet you’re helplessly and madly in love with him. You think I don’t know? It frustrates me because all you do is follow him around without the intent of even telling him of your feelings like why couldn’t it be me instead? Why couldn’t it be me; the one you fell in love with but it had to be Percy fucking Jackson. I don’t hate Percy for it, he’s my best friend but I can’t help but feel jealous whenever your stares linger at him, whenever you allow him to touch you while I can’t because you hate being touched despite everything I’ve done for you. I mean-“ the blond took a deep shaky breath and growled. “what kind of idiot would wait outside, on a cold night during a downpour, only to drive you back to your dormitory while ignoring the small smile on your face as you walk out of Jackson’s dorm? I know what you guys did e-even if…”_

_Jason’s face morphed into something Nico had never seen before. The blond got off of him immediately and dashed out of his own condo unit, slamming the door behind him. Nico laid still on a bed that was too big for a single person. He stared at the ceiling as the dim light of the room finally welcomed him. On a normal day, it would have been nice sleeping over at Jason’s comfortable condo. It was everything Nico would want in college; beautiful lodging, cool air, soft pillows and space. Not to mention the quality of everything Jason owned. It wasn’t that Nico couldn’t afford things like this. His father simply cut him off from the good things he could be living with. It must have been nice to be Jason. But he was wrong at that part. Just now, he had a taste of what Jason really was.  Jason was just as lonely as he was. Despite surrounding himself with beautiful things, Jason remained lonely. Come to think of it, Nico knew nothing of Jason aside from the fact that his father was a general. That was it. What Jason said shook him. Jason was a friend and he never considered Jason as a possibility. Sure they were close, kind of. Jason drove him to places, treated him to restaurants or gave him presents. Nico didn’t jump to conclusions. He thought those were all just friendly gestures since Jason was indeed friendly to everyone. It was misleading most of the time but Nico didn’t want to assume because he knew for a fact that he was head-over-heels for Percy and that no one would even think of him as date material. That night Jason talked about… that night he came out of Percy’s dorm; it was the best night of his life. Never had he thought that Percy Jackson would actually consider him as someone he could date. Right now they were still working it out but Nico was excited to give it a shot. The thought alone was enough to make his heart swell, completely forgetting about his dilemma about Jason._

_The following week after their fight was finals week. Being Jason, he shut himself to study since his program required a lot of reading unlike Leo and Nico’s. One afternoon, it was just Leo and Nico sitting on their usual table in the cafeteria. Percy had went to study with Annabeth and Jason was back in his condo having an intense study session with Frank; those two were never the type to get grades lower than 2. So there they were, sitting boredly across each other, both not having to study since their exams were mostly practical._

_“Hey Nico.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“What do you wanna do? It’s so boring without them.”_

_Suddenly, Nico’s phone vibrated. The Italian immediately grabbed for his phone in hopes that it was Percy. His heart did a little flip when it was Percy’s name that displayed. He swiped his phone open and read._

_[1:23] Percy: Too much to review. Taking a break now with Annabeth. How are you guys so far?_

_[1:24] Nico: Bored. Leo’s the only one here and his exam doesn’t start until 4pm._

_[1:26] Percy: what about you? Where’s Jason and Frank?_

_[1:27] Nico: my exams start tomorrow. I’m just killing time. Jason and Frank are at Jason’s condo having one of their intense reviewing sessions._

_Nico grinned as he typed away, forgetting that Leo just asked him a question. The Spanish American didn’t take it personally but it was quite surprising to see Nico grin like that. He stared at the Italian for a few more minutes until Nico remembered Leo was talking to him. He closed his phone and stared into the Spanish American’s wondering gaze._

_“What?” Nico felt self-cautious all of a sudden with the way Leo stared at him._

_“It’s the first time I saw you grin like that.” Then Leo smirked. “You were talking to Percy weren’t you?”_

_“What made you say that?” No one knew aside from Jason. “Did Jason tell you?” thinking about it just made Nico’s blood boil. He trusted Jason a lot and Leo to know that he was crushing on Percy… it only meant Jason told Leo. Somehow, the mention of Jason’s name made Leo’s eyebrow quirk._

_“No. Jason knew huh? Well it’s really not that hard to notice it. I mean, you stick to Percy all the time unless you need a ride or something; you stick with Jason which is kinda… fucking unfair now that I think about it. It’s like you only approach Jason if you need something. Yeah… what’s up with that? Is Jason your sugar daddy or something?” Leo kept his gaze at Nico. He actually hated the idea that Nico’s using Jason for convenience and Jason lets the guy do so. But then it hit him._

_“What the fuck? Jason as my sugar daddy? I haven’t hit rock bottom Valdez. That’s like what the fuck to the ultimate level. Jason’s just a friend.” Nico scoffed. Now the events of last week were back into his mind._

_“Uh huh…” Leo remained staring at Nico like if he stared enough, the guy might actually just spill the beans. “I’m not stupid like Percy you know. I know for a fact you like him and that Jason’s been avoiding you all week. Something happened and none of you have the guts to speak about it. If anything else…” Leo drifted off, sighing. Nico glared at his abandoned orange juice. Was he that apparent that even Leo knew he had a huge crush on Percy?_

_“So what if I have a crush on Percy?”_

_“I don’t care if you have a crush on Percy or any other guy. It’s totally cool. We’re in the 21 st century. You aren’t shunned or anything. But the way you guys are acting around each other is just ridiculous. You’re like ghosts, shifting around each other especially you. You’re at Percy’s every beck and call. Jason’s the same idiot too. The only loser I see in this equation is Jason-“ and then it hit him like ton of bricks. Jason liked Nico di Angelo and the guy had never mentioned it to him.  “Santa Maria, Jason fucking likes you.” Nico cringed at that. “What the hell is that look for?” _

_“God you’re so noisy. Can we stop with this conversation?” Nico massaged his temples in frustration. He didn’t need this kind of talk._

_“I really hate how you sound so distrustful of Jason.” The Spanish American got up from his seat and glared at Nico. “and to think those kisses Percy give you were just a gay bro thing, seems like you enjoyed them huh?” Leo smirked rather wickedly before walking out of the cafeteria which left Nico staring  at Percy’s new message._

_It had been another week after that conversation with Leo. The gang still met up in the cafeteria like they always do, joking and helping one another with assignments and project except there was this thick tension between Jason and Nico. Jason completely stopped talking to Nico. He never drove Nico back to his dorm anymore, never drove him to places, never treated to lunches or to coffee and most especially never looked Nico’s way which started to annoy Nico by the third week of silent treatment. It hurt of course but they were both caught up with their pride.  At some point, Percy had even noticed it and asked out of the blue if there was a problem between them. It was a point that Percy and Nico frequently went out on dates to know each other but Nico also knew that Percy and Annabeth were getting much closer, closer than them and Nico couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy he felt whenever Annabeth joined them during lunch, teaching Percy about topics he was helpless with._

_Finally after a whole month of dodging each other, Nico had had enough of it._

_Nico had just received a call from his sister, Bianca, that their father completely closed ties with them. Ever since their mother died, their father hadn’t been the same. Nico guessed that their father was with his girlfriend now, somewhere in Las Vegas. Now the problem was: how was he going to finish college now that his father has stopped funding him? He was down to his last two years in college and his father had to cut them now especially when he was about to enter a new term. Well it probably was time he looked for a job to support himself. Just then, Nico stopped from his tracks as he saw a certain blond with blue eyes stand rooted to his spot while staring inside a certain coffee shop, a coffee shop Nico and Percy frequent. Jason’s face was a bit pinkish from the lack of warm clothes. What kind of person doesn’t bring a jacket during the week before December? It seemed like a good time to actually talk to Jason. It had been a month of them not talking and since he was still frustrated about his new dilemma, confronting Jason was the least of his problems so he approached Jason, who glanced at him for a second before shaking his head. There were bags under his eyes and his hands were a different shade of pink as if he held something cold._

_“Look at them.” Were his first words then he turned his head back to the direction of the coffee shop. Nico followed his gaze._

_Inside the coffee shop were Annabeth and Percy sharing a meal. Annabeth was in the act of feeding Percy spaghetti as Nico watched in silence, suddenly feeling smaller than he already was. His aviator jacket no longer provided him the warmth he needed and the scarf around his neck felt like cold water. He knew the feeling so well but why couldn’t he look away? He couldn’t tear his gaze from the happy couple. He didn’t want to believe it when he heard that Annabeth and Percy was going out but actually seeing them himself was more painful than silly rumors. The next thing Nico knew, he was being pulled away from the scene before him. A very cold hand held him firmly as he and Jason walked to another shop, a shop that would soon mean much more to them both. They both sat at the table near a window, Jason having ordered their favorite drinks._

_“Your hand…” Nico started, looking up to meet Jason’s tired gaze. “Why is it so cold?”_

_“I was working. I just got out of work when you saw me.” Jason explained. Nico didn’t know that Jason worked. He was loaded so why did he have to work? What for?_

_“I thought you were rich?”_

_“My parents are. anyway…” the blond sat against the leather covering of his seat, arms crossing on their own while staring at Nico much more carefully now. “I’ve been an idiot for ignoring you for a whole month. I needed to think and I think… I said some harsh things back then.” He looked down at his steaming macchiato. He couldn’t stare at Nico when his heart was beating so hard that it hurt. He wasn’t even sure how this was going to end. “I’m sorry for the things I’ve said back then. I don’t have the right to tell you off, it’s your life but…” this time he looked up into Nico’s dark eyes, his eyebrows scrunching up as if he didn’t like the words he was going to say next. “I really hate it. You’re throwing yourself out for him even if you knew the consequences in the end. I care for you; I love you but even if you diss that fact, I’ll be here for you even if all I ever will be is a friend to you-“_

_“But aren’t you doing the same though? You’re throwing yourself out for me even if the things you hoped for won’t come true. You will still throw yourself out there for me because you love me for reasons I don’t even know. Why Jason, why do you even like someone as insignificant as me? Someone who can’t even love his self, someone who lacks a lot of things, someone who’ll keep disappointing everyone, someone who’ll-“_

_“Stop!” Jason moved forward from his seat, his fist against the table, enough to shake their table, but not enough to get everyone’s attention. There was intensity in his eyes as Nico stared at his azure orbs. “That right there are few of the reasons why I think I’m better than Percy in many ways. I don’t want you thinking about yourself like that. You’re more than those Nico. You feel insignificant because no one is making you feel significant. I would if you’d give me a chance.” Jason’s fist was as white as snow by that point but he continued. “I’ll throw myself out as much as I could for you to realize that what you’re looking for isn’t in Percy. It could be me. You think Percy is the right person, he’s not. Here I am, trying to be that right person for you. I know the risks I’m taking and I’m doing this all for you. I understand if you didn’t ask it of me but I want to be the one… I want to show you everything you wanted that Percy can’t give.  You deserve so much Nico, so fucking much and I don’t want you depriving yourself of things you are capable of handling. You may have not realized it but you helped me during the time I was very lost. I never thought I’d fall in love with you, you know? You were this snotty spoiled brat but who knew this brat was going to show me one of the most beautiful things in the world?” at this point, Nico was speechless. He felt his heart throb in a way he couldn’t describe. His palms became sweaty and yet his gaze stayed with Jason’s intensity. He was captivated. “That time when you took me up the campus rooftop to capture the sunset that you needed for your art project you told me this: sometimes the beauty of  life are the moments you don’t and can’t capture, but rather live to experience. It helped me a lot. I was losing it but then you gave me the faintest of smile and it made me think. There are more things to live for than my family. I had to live for myself and you taught me that. You gave me purpose to continue when everyone else was telling me to stop. You don’t know how much that meant to me. I treasure that moment up to this day so please… You worth much more than Percy can give, than what your past defines you and much more when you realize how amazing you are.“_

_And Nico lost it._

_The tears ran down his cool cheeks. Not another second passed and Jason was beside him, soothing him and telling him everything will be alright. He felt raw and exposed yet he didn’t hate it. Somehow, being with Jason made everything alright. He felt cold hands cup his face and wipe the tears and he didn’t hate it. He didn’t hate the fact that someone was there to wipe his tears and telling him things will be alright. He didn’t hate the fact that warmth was pooling inside of his chest and he most definitely didn’t hate the fact that someone is willing to throw themselves out for him._

_He smiled this time. He smiled at Jason and for the first time in the longest time, he was truly happy._

Nico sat silently in one of those plastic chairs the hospital provided. It had been a few hours after Jason got into an incident and they still didn’t have update about Jason’s condition. Thalia burst into tears the moment they were taken to ER. Luke told them that his friend worked at the ER and contacted him as soon as she learned that the patient was a Grace. Apparently, Jason hit the truck head first. His right leg was crushed, he was bruised and bleeding when they got him out under the truck but luckily, breathing. Nico couldn’t help but tear himself. He didn’t want to lose Jason not now that he wanted to make things right.

 

Another few minutes of agony, finally the doctor came out from the Operation room.

 

“Are you his sister?” the doctor faced Thalia who immediately stood from her seat.

“Yes.” Her voice croaked, far too nervous to speak properly. “H-how is he?”

“He’s fine. Your brother’s a fighter after all.” the doctor smiled. “but he has to stay for two more weeks before I can release him. His old wounds are acting up and the big cut on his head was severe. His right leg’s crushed; he’ll be immobile for a few months. I suggest getting a metal in there for faster healing. Just call a nurse when he wakes up.”

 

Then the doctor left while the nurses ushered them out of the hospital. Hazel was outside waiting for them. By the looks of it, she had it rough too. They all went home a little shaken. Nico couldn’t sleep the whole time. On his bed in the hotel, he stared at the ceiling, holding back the tears that were daring to fall. It was all his fault he assumed. He hoped things would be better the morning to come.

 

That morning, they were all gathered in Jason’s room. The blond was sleeping soundly on his bed with a heart rate monitor next to him. There were a lot of tubes stuck on him and it seemed that Jason had hard time taking in oxygen. His right leg was held up in mid-air and most parts of his arms were banged up bad. The right side of his forehead looked ghastly. The wound was colored maroon with a hint of purple it looked too painful to look. For an hour, they sat there in silence until Jason started to stir. Everyone got up to their feet to greet their friend except for Nico who stayed away from Jason’s line of vision. He didn’t want Jason to feel stressed the moment he woke up.

 

“Get the doctor.” Thalia told Luke, who took off in a second. She looked back to Jason, whose eyes were still adjusting to the lack of color in the room. “Jason?” she asked softly, holding his calloused hand gently.

“…W-what… happened…” Jason whispered, coughing a little.

“You got into a car accident Jayce but don’t worry. Everything’s alright now. You’re okay.” Thalia smiled sadly. She reached her hand over to Jason’s face and caressed his cheek adoringly. “You just gain your strength back okay?”

 

Everyone then huddled around him; greeting him a good morning and telling him things as if he hadn’t miss a thing. When things have seemed to settle, Thalia got off her stool and was replaced by Piper. She walked to where Nico was hiding by the door frame and patted his shoulder reassuring. Nico hadn’t realized he was nervous the moment Thalia came to him.

 

“Maybe I should go. I don’t think seeing me would help him Thalia and it’s probably my fault why he was in an accident anyway…” he sighed, having thought of this all night.

“Actually, he just asked me where you were. You shouldn’t beat yourself up as much. We all know what you did but well know you’re here to fix things. I know it’s hard and I salute you for trying.” She smiled.

 

Were all the Graces like this? Why were they so kind to people like Nico? Thinking about it more only made Nico’s eyes swell. He had done nothing but cry the whole time he was here but it seemed like he just couldn’t get a hold of his emotions. While he wiped the tears that dared to pour, Thalia pulled him into a hug and patted his head, whispering words of comfort like Jason used to.

 

“He isn’t mad. He would very much like to see you right now.”

 

Nico pulled himself away from Thalia and stared at her through tired eyes. Was he hearing right? Jason actually wanted to see him?

 

“Come on.”

 

Thalia grabbed him by the wrist and had proceeded to walk back to Jason’s line of vision. At the moment, Nico felt petrified. He still looked like a mess but the moment his eyes laid on Jason’s, he felt calm somehow. Thalia lead him to the stool were she just sat which was empty now. He then sat there; looking down or rather at Jason’s bruised hand. Silently, the others moved to side to give Jason and Nico space.

 

“H-hey…” Jason whispered, moving his hand that Nico was staring at to get his attention. “Nico…” he whispered again until the Italian looked up to him with teared eyes. “Don’t cry.” His voice rasped but Nico couldn’t find his voice to speak. “Look at me.” Jason said a little louder; grabbing Nico’s hand at the moment despite the pain that coursed through his entire being. “It’s not your fault okay?”

“How could you say that…? After all the things I did to you…” more tears streamed down Nico’s face as he county each and every wrong he did to Jason. It felt heavy against his chest that he found it hard to breathe himself.

 

And Jason couldn’t bare the sight of Nico trembling in front of him; crying his heart out silently. He had promised Nico before that he would never let Nico feel the horrible things. Just like his mother, he broke the promise and he hated himself for it. Using all his strength, Jason pulled himself up and groaned as another wave of pain coursed through his beaten body. He had experienced worst so this was nothing. Grabbing the mask that supplied him with the much needed air, he pulled it off and gasped. It took a while before he got his breathing even.

 

“Wh-what are you doing?! You need that!” Nico was about to grab the discarded mask when Jason took a hold of his hand and pulled him at eye level.

“You listen to me Nico di Angelo.” Despite the crack in his voice he continued. “You hurt me and everyone knows that but I never stopped hoping you’d come back to me. I said some really harsh things last night and most of it is true. You had ruin me because not that I let you, but because you meant so damn much to me.” Again, Nico was captivated by the intensity of Jason’s eyes. “I’ve been an asshole last night but I was actually glad you were back I guess… my pride got in the way. I wanted you to beg at first but…” he sighed, squeezing Nico’s cold hand. “Now that you’re here, now that I could have died, I don’t want to let chances slip through my hands. Yes, I have been devastated when you left me but I’m ready to leave those behind if you’ll have me again.”

 

Another batch of tears had started to fill Nico’s eyes. Of course he’d say yes but at the moment he couldn’t because of the overwhelming relief he felt that his voice got caught in his throat so he nodded his head instead, small noises escaping from his trembling lips. He held Jason’s hand close to him as crawled up next to Jason to give him a proper hug, something he had been dying to do since last night.  His body shook against Jason’s but he didn’t care at how many people were watching them. What was important was that moment where Jason was alive and had finally given him another chance to prove his self to the other. It wasn’t going to be easy to restore the rift between them but he was going to do his best even if it meant courting Jason himself. Gently, he laid his head against Jason’s shoulder where Jason rested his head on as well just like they used to.

 

“I’m sorry for leaving you… I got blinded about my desire to get to Italy and find my sister that I haven’t considered what you could have felt… I knew you gave up everything for me. Your home, your family, even your career just so you could be with me and I… couldn’t even give back anything aside from what I have. I’ve been a jerk. I hope you can forgive me.” But when Nico looked up to stare at Jason, there was this faraway look on his face as if he was thinking far beyond the four walls of his room. It was a look that Jason wore so well now. “Jason?” the blond just laid closed his eyes and sighed.

“I still can’t believe all of this but I’ll try to cope…” then his hold on Nico loosened.

 

Finally the doctor came. Nico got off the bed and stood at the side as the doctor began asking questions about how Jason was feeling that morning. The whole time they talked, Nico couldn’t peel his eyes off from Jason. He looked so sad yet determined at the same time. Truly a lot of things had changed between them. Despite Jason giving this another chance, Nico wasn’t really that confident if he could win Jason back. There was always that insecurity that Jason must hate him one way or another and being Jason, just gave this a chance because he didn’t want to be an asshole in front of everyone. Once the doctor had left, Hazel came in from her seat outside with Frank following after her. She stood at the foot of Jason’s bed a little bit troubled.

 

“Jason…” she started; regretting about the events that unfold last night. “I’m sorry for everything that has happened. If only I-“

“Hazel, don’t. It’ll only make me feel bad. I understand. I don’t want your experience here in our little town to be a bad one. I’d like you to forget about the happenings last night. I just want to get out of this room. I hate the hospital.” He grunted, slipping back to his original position, sighing once again. “My life’s been shit and this accident isn’t the worst of it so don’t worry about a single thing.”

“I really am sorry Jason.”

“It’s okay Hazel.”

“Well, gotta go superman!” Leo cut in, stepping up from his spot. He took a quick glance at his wrist watch then at Jason. “I still got work to do at the garage and yes it’s a Sunday but I gotta clean the place up. I’ll see you later.”

“I need to go too. I have to meet a client up town at the fashion complex. I’ll come by later with Reyna.” Piper leaned in to Jason and kissed his cheek, smiling softly before leaving the room with Reyna and Leo. Luke then came in, a little bit breathless.

“Hey Jason. Glad you’re awake. Sorry but I just got a letter from headquarters…” Luke then looked at Thalia, a frown forming on his lips. “The General’s coming to town, said he wanted to see what happened to his son.” Both Jason and Thalia groaned. They hated having Jupiter around.

“Ugh can I just stay here in the hospital? I haven’t cleaned the apartment …” –Jason

“I could clean it up for you lil bro since Luke’s already got our place tidy.” –Thalia

“You sure about that? I still got a bunch of stuff to put in boxes in the other room.”  By stuff he meant everything that reminded him of Nico.

“No problem. When’s dad coming though?” Thalia then looked at Luke.

“Tomorrow night.”

“Well shit, we better start cleaning now and buy more grocery for your apartment .” -Thalia

“I’ll help with the cleaning if you don’t mind.” –Luke

“Thanks a lot guys. I think I’ll sleep for now… the world’s spinning.” –Jason

“Rest well Jason.”

 

Thalia tucked him in the last time and kissed his forehead like she did when they were younger. Not a minute passed and Jason was already deep in his sleep. Frank then told them he’ll stay with Jason at the moment since he could do his work there so the four of them: Thalia, Luke, Nico and Hazel left.

 

“I’ll check us out from the hotel okay? I got us a place near Calypso’s and already got a few people to help me with our baggage.” Hazel kissed Nico’s cheek and smiled.

“I know you’re dying to see your old apartment  too. Wanna help us clean?” Thalia suggested, grabbing the pick-up truck’s door for Nico. “The apartment  needs some homey touches too. Jason’s barely home and I only come once a week to check on it when he’s out.”

“Are you sure that’s okay? Jason might not like me over at his apartment .”

“Hey, it used to be yours too.”

 

He couldn’t argue with that. He and Jason did live in that apartment  for 3 years and it belonged to him too as much as it belonged to Jason though he couldn’t help the tugging feeling in his stomach that he wasn’t ready to see the place just yet. It used to be a place of comfort for him, a place for him to do his art and now that he had left that place for years, he wasn’t sure if it would still be as comfortable as it used to. But he didn’t thought about it as much. Nico said his goodbyes to Hazel and hopped in Luke’s pick-up. They talked the whole way to that apartment  about how many things were taken off the walls of the apartment . Nico didn’t bother asking why. Most of his paintings were hung on the wall. If it weren’t his paintings, it was either a picture collage of him and Jason or places they wanted to go. Their dreams were posted on those walls. It made him wonder how many things Jason took off.

 

How many things did Jason have to take off in order for him to believe he had moved on?

 

 

_It only took a moment for Nico to feel the spark, to feel the connection with Jason and it certainly took a moment for Nico to realize that he too was in love with Jason Grace. No one had the guts to say those things to him.  No one had the guts to tell him those wonderful things and it felt right because he deserved it. How long did he wait for this? For someone to accept him for who he was? He was nervous of course. He doesn’t really know Jason that well but they were giving it a shot and Nico was excited it left him giddy. Yesterday was a roller coaster ride of feelings. He had felt jealousy and love almost instantly. Love that didn’t hurt. It was that kind of love that warmed up his chest and made his stomach feel like he was jumping a hundred feet above in the air. Literally, he felt like he was in cloud nine after what Jason said. Who knew someone was stupid enough to fight for him? But Jason wasn’t stupid… Nico was going to prove to Jason that he didn’t make a stupid decision of ever falling in love with Nico di Angelo. He was sure of that._

_That all happened last Saturday; it was Monday now, last week for college students before leaving for the Christmas holidays. They all sat around their usual table in the cafeteria except for Jason with Annabeth came. Leo immediately shot a glance at Nico. He was expecting Nico to cringe but he didn’t. Nico actually looked happy and giddy. He couldn’t stop checking his phone and it made Leo nauseous with how fast Nico moved his hands it was like seeing himself in Nico and Leo watched this new side of Nico in fascination. It was actually refreshing to see. Then came Jason. He was smiling and looking chipper.  He sat next to Nico who smiled back at him in the most sickeningly sweet way that made Leo cringe._

_“Have you guys made up? You’re acting all sweet around each other and it’s actually grossing me out.”_

_“You could say that.” Jason ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t get that stupid grin off his face. Ever since Saturday, he and Nico had been texting non-stop and it helped Jason. He felt incredibly happy._

_“So who asked first?” BAM. “Ow! No need to kick me you know.” Leo shot a glare at Nico’s direction but shrugged it off._

_“Better shut up Valdez or else that’s not the only thing I’m kicking.” Nico hissed._

_Discreetly, Jason slipped his hand in Nico’s and threaded his fingers between the spaces of Nico’s fingers. It made the Italian blush slightly, giving his heart a little jump despite how cold Jason’s hand was. He liked that about Jason. The coolness of Jason’s hand was comfortable for him. It tugged the corners of Nico’s lips._

_“Oh my god I’m surrounded by saps. Someone take me away from this horrible non-single table.” Everyone laughed. They all knew Leo wasn’t far from having his own partner._

_“So you and Nico are dating?” Percy asked Jason, his signature grin gracing his features._

_“Something like that.” Jason answered, squeezing Nico’s hand a little. He still kinda hated Percy for one other thing…_

_“Congrats you guys. Now Nico has someone to pacify his grumblings. It’s actually cute how you two work together.” Jason somewhat squinted his eyes at Percy but decided to let it slip. Jason wasn’t a person who’d open wounds._

_“I’m happy for you guys.” Frank smiled then he stretched his back and yawned which reminded Nico of a bear going to hibernation. “So guys, they’re holding a new year’s eve party at the gymnasium. We didn’t celebrate Christmas together so I thought… since it’s gonna be our last sem before thesis save for Nico, we could attend this one out?”_

_“Hell yeah I’m going!” the Spanish American perked up from his seat and grinned happily. He had been talking about the same party since last week._

_From then, Jason and Nico zoned out on their friends. They didn’t even pay attention when Annabeth came to sit with them. Nico didn’t feel the pang of jealousy anymore instead; he was feeling warm and tingly while he looked at Jason, who was also looking back at him. They held hands most of the time despite Jason’s hand being cold. He liked that about Jason. He learned so many things about Jason one being that his hands get cold fast. The sudden vibration of his phone got him tearing his gaze from Jason. It was Bianca again. Nico’s eyebrows met as he read the message he got from his sister._

_“What’s the matter?” Jason asked as Nico let go of his hand to reply._

_“Just a family thing…” he lied. It was more than a family thing._

_“Need help?”_

_“Oh no I can handle it. Don’t worry about it.” Nico smiled and then rested his head against Jason’s shoulder._

_Jason stared at the top of Nico’s head and sighed. It was too early to pry._

_“I just want you to know that if you need anything or if you need help, I’m here. I’ll try my best to help you at all costs Nico. You’re not alone okay?” He smiled, planting a kiss atop Nico’s messy black hair to which Nico blushed._

_This was all new to him. Will he ever get used to it? It was only a few days but Jason never failed to make his heart swell and beat fast. Something no one has ever done to him. He was really touched that someone was going to fight for him. How long had it been since he felt this strong emotion? He was suddenly filled with hope, something he had been lacking for years now. With the way his family was treating him, Nico was happy he had Jason. Even if it was only Jason, it was enough to keep him going especially when this person was going to stick with him through thick and thin. He promised so Nico will hold on into it._

_For the longest time, he’s doing this to make himself happy. He was scared, yes that was a given but he really wanted to give this a chance since Jason was doing his best, he should just as well. Besides, he’s starting to feel something as well... Who knew where this could lead but Nico’s sure of one thing, this was right. It made him happy and no one was objecting. Even Leo had mirth in his eyes when he looked at them. It’s like a puzzle finally fit._

__

__

Rain poured gently that night. Jason laid awake in his bed from the intense pain that was currently wrecking havoc inside of him. This wasn’t exactly his idea of vacation from service. If he wanted to die, he could have at least done it in war. At least then, it could have been a memorable and honorable one instead of dying from an aftermath of a car crash. That night, he felt extremely lonely. Not only was he handicapped for a few weeks, he was still hurting and damn he couldn’t help it. Everything was in shambles and lying in bed, in a hospital bed, didn’t make anything better. The last time he was in a hospital was... When Nico got  pneumonia. He was so worried that he even asked for a leave. He couldn’t bare the pained noises Nico made then. Between his struggles with his thesis and work, he still found time to accompany Nico in his own struggles. Jason had always been there and maybe that’s why Nico have grown tired. Because Nico knew he’d always be there.

 

Reaching his good hand, Jason wiped the tears from his eyes. He hated feeling sad. He hated the tears that formed. He hated admitting that he still cared. But most of all, he hated himself for driving Nico away when all these years, he wanted him back.

 

“You dumb ass... Crying in a place like this...” Jason reprimanded himself. It was always a hard time for him alone. Everything just came crashing back like a storm, brewing up inside and leaving a mess. That’s what he was, a huge mess.

 

 

* * *

 

HI JASON!!!

HOPE YOU’RE DOING OKAY

WISHING FOR YOUR SPEEDY RECOVERY,

CALYPSO

* * *

 

 

Heard what happened to you.

Everyone’s wishing you a speedy recovery!

We miss you here in that barracks Jason.

Ethan, Charles and Co.

* * *

 If there’s Finding Nemo

There’s also Finding Jason

I miss my bro. Let’s go out sometime!

Percy J.

* * *

 

Jason skimmed through the accumulated greeting cards from his bed-side table in the hospital. Finally he was getting out. After two weeks of struggling, he was getting released. Jupiter wasn’t all too happy with the accident. Once again, he had been called an incompetent son, someone who’ll never restore the family honor. It sounded cliche but it hit Jason hard since all he did for the past seven years was win his father’s approval once again. Though he also couldn’t care less. He had been disappointing his father even before then so he wasn’t that much affected. What made him nervous was seeing his friends again. They would visit everyday but Jason could feel the tension in the air. He knew they were hiding something from him and the only guy who was stupid enough to spill the beans would be Percy. He’d need to find him first. Percy was every where.

 

“Ready to go?” Jason looked up at Thalia. She smiled as he held out his crutches. Jason just squinted at the equipment.

“Stupid injuries.” But he took them anyway and slowly, pulled himself out of the bed with a groan. “I think I just heard my ankle crack.”

“Don’t be such a baby. You’re a war dog. You can do it!” Thalia accidentally slaps him on the back where a cut had been stitched up which resulted to him groaning some more. “Oops, sorry about that.”

“You should let him be Thalia. Jason can handle himself.” Luke commented.

 

Slowly, Jason stood up. He groaned at the numbing pain that crept up his spine as he put all his weight on the crutches. The blond took deep breathes then looked at the open door of his room. This is it. He has to get out of here. He hated being stuck in bed for dumb reasons like healing. He didn’t like being in one place for too long. It made him dwell on things he shouldn’t.

 

_Nico started at the last bill he had. At that moment, he regretted not getting a job to support himself through college. Bianca herself was struggling so he didn’t bother asking money from her. If it comes to worst, he’d just have to drop out of school. Art didn’t need a degree anyway, just an imaginative mind. It’s going to be rough but he has to tell Jason somehow. Speaking of the blond, Jason suddenly came in their English class, disheveled. The week had been harsh on him with his father suddenly visiting and threatening to disown him because of Nico. Aside from that, Jason was already in his third year in Literature so it was bound to get tough. Nico already felt bad enough but the way Jason told him it was going to be okay, reassured him that it was going to be okay. Jason had a way with his words that made Nico feel safe._

_“You really should just tell Jason you’re broke.”_

_Nico turned back to look at Leo, who was packing up his back and getting ready to leave the room. A few days ago, Leo had discreetly read the messages Nico was sending his father. They fought but somehow made up because of Jason and came to an agreement that Nico should tell Jason himself._

_“He’s already stressed enough. I’ll tell him next week.”_

_“I’m pretty sure he’d sulk if you told him that late. Well I’m off.”_

_Nico watched as Leo walk out of the room. Something awful was starting to settle inside of his stomach that he couldn’t even look at Jason’s direction as the other sat to his side._

_“You seem distracted. Is something the matter?” Jason slouched in his chair, keeping his gaze at Nico despite the other refusing to meet his eyes._

_“It’s nothing I can’t handle Jason.”_

_“You looked really troubled there. If there’s anything I can do for you, just tell me okay? But for now I’ll leave you to it seeing as you wouldn’t want to be bothered by it.” the blond just smiled and complete laid against his chair and closed his eyes, a sigh leaving his lips._

_Was Nico really going to tell him?_

_. . ._

_Jason and Nico stared at the empty space before them. The apartment  Jason got was a little smaller than his condo unit but Nico could feel this was going to be a great experience. It had been months since he dropped out of school and since Jason was disowned by his family. It was  a tough time for them but their friends supported them all the way. Nico could feel he warmth that radiated from Jason and soon enough, he was feeling just as excited as he was. This was a three bedroom apartment , one being the master’s bedroom. The kitchen was a little small for Jason’s bulk but Nico liked it all the same since it had a view of the living room, perfect for Thanksgiving. The wallpaper was hanging down at some parts and there were stains on the wall. Nico’s mind went a mile a minute with the ideas he could do to decorate their little abode. Besides, he got the feeling that they’ll be staying here for a long, long, long time._

_“So... How do you like it?” Jason managed to smile despite the yawn that almost escaped his lips. He had been working two shifts the previous night since he had to support his last two years of college and this apartment  too. He wasn’t that confident about the money he had saved up the previous year._

_“I love it... We can fix this up and make it great!” Nico grabbed Jason’s cold hand and squeezed it, hugging the taller male from the side._

_“I’m glad you liked it. The guys will be over in a hour to help us tear the wallpaper off and paint... Until then, we have the whole apartment  to ourselves.”_

_“That gives us plenty of time...” Smirked Nico._

_Jason’s eyes widened at the sudden contact. Nico stood up into his tip toes and kissed Jason, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck quite needingly. It was going to be perfect._

 

Jason stood in the center of his apartment . Everything was neat. The bottles he had left in the kitchen, room and the trash were all gone. The bed was made, his clothes were neatly folded and the curtains were changed. Even the grocery was done. The place didn’t exactly feel like home though. There was something missing. There was always someone missing.

 

“You know, Nico cleaned out most of the trash. He asked if he could get his paintings later today.” Thalia said. She laid a cup of hot chocolate on the counter where Jason decided situate himself on the stool.

“Sure. Tell him he can take any of his stuff back. I’m not taking them ransom... I mean he did leave them here.” said Jason rather bitterly. He stared down at the steam the flew around his cup. Would that feel hot against his skin?

“You don’t have to be that way Jason. He’s trying okay? At least he came back for you.” Sighed Thalia. Jason could get tiring.

“I wasn’t waiting, I’m not waiting and besides, isn’t it too late to come back? Seven years? Really? How many people have he met by then?” Now Jason’s eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t like to think about those seven years where he laid under the stars, fighting for his country, his life, without a single letter from Nico telling him to stay safe.

“Okay. Listen you.” Thalia seethed. “You never ran after him when he left for Italy! Can you really blame him for everything, Jason?”

“Why would I run after someone who intended to leave me in the first place Thalia?! He chose to leave me okay? He chose that other blond guy with blue eyes just because he couldn’t wait while, after all his futile attempts on make a move on Percy, waited for him like.. A year or so? But who cares right? Because in this argument, I’m the asshole for not doing anything and shutting him away.”

 

Jason pushed himself away from the counter and forced himself to walk to his room despite the pain that shot up his leg.  All Thalia could do was watch him leave. She was feeling rather guilty since she left too. She left Jason to carry all the family burden despite her being the eldest. She can’t really just tell him off without feeling the guilt well up in her. She left even before he could remember her face.

 

Thalia leaves an hour after their small fight. Jason has never felt this horrible in a long time. It was back to being the loser he was before joining the force. Slowly, he got up from his bed and walked out of his room the living room. It began raining again. Maybe it was that time of the year again, Jason couldn’t tell. For him, time didn’t exactly mattered. Dragging his still healing leg, he sat on the cushions by the window and watched. This will be his life in the next month, being immobile and a pain in the ass. He watches the rain drops run down against the glass, watches the people walking below with colorful umbrellas and watches as a car pull up just in front of his apartment . That’s probably Nico. He sighs and just leans against the cool surface of the glass windows. Why couldn’t Nico leave him alone? He was fine the past seven years. Yeah... He was fine alone. He coped with being alone, eating alone, living alone so why is he suddenly back? Didn’t he say it doesn’t matter anymore? Wasn’t he the one who left? So why?

 

Jason was pulled out from his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door. He got off from his seat and walked to the door slowly, pulling the door just a little bit to get a look at the person who knocked. Nico looks through the small opening, at Jason’s covered face.

 

“Can I come in? Thalia said I can take my paintings.”

 

Jason just closed the door. Nico sighed but he heard shuffling from behind the door swings open. Jason struggles to turn around and walk away but one of his crutches gets caught on a side table, he stumbled a little. Nico rushed over to grab his arm to prevent him from falling.

 

“You okay there?” he asks, finally letting go when Jason straightens himself.

“Yeah... Do you want anything while you’re here?” Jason made his way to the kitchen and grabbed on the refrigerator handle. He wasn’t sure what his kitchen contained at that moment.

“I won’t take long so don’t bother. I’m just going to take my paintings you’ve put down. Hazel would like to see them.”

“Oh.”he turns around and watches the other man shift through the spaces that used to belong to them both. “Are you guys... Staying here?”

“Seems like we will be. At least for a while.”

 

Nico walked to the storage room where Jason and put most of his paintings, neatly sealed from the dust that accumulated on the plastic wrapped around each painting. Jason stood by the hall way as he watched as piece by piece were taking out, given to some stranger who would bring them down to the car. He didn’t exactly like where the paintings were going but he had no say in it. They were Nico’s works anyway. To lighten the atmosphere, Jason started to ask Nico.

 

“So what did you do in Italy?”

“Huh?” Nico face him for a moment. “Well... I searched for Bianca first. It was all a blur but I found Hazel instead.”

“Is Hazel Italian?”

“Not exactly. She’s from New Orleans. Dad brought her to Italy since her mom passed away. And from there, she had convinced Dad to let me finish my studies there. I actually hold a degree now.” Nico kept rummaging through boxes, looking for his set of brushes he was sure he left here.

“I see... What about that blond guy?” Nico stiffened. Did Jason mean Will? “that guy who looked like a surfer?”

“...You mean Will?”

“Yeah... Where is he?” Nico got up from his position and turned to face Jason, who was sitting on one of the wooden chairs Nico used to sit on when he painted.

“He left a month after I saw Hazel. Dad didn’t really approve of him. I kinda mentioned that I was dating a certain blond but it wasn’t Will that time it was...” he looked at Jason who kept a stoic face. “Anyway, he got bored easily and told me he’ll be leaving and that  he’ll see me around. He just casually came and go.”

“Huh...” Jason scoffed. It sounded to him he was abandoned.

“Look Jason...” Nico sighed. He took steps closer to Jason but the blond stood up from his seat and took steps back. It hurt. “I’m really sorry for everything. I really am. If I could fix it, I will. Just give me a chance.”

“Tell me why I should.” came Jason’s stern voice. By the sounds of it, he might not give Nico the chance.

“Because I love you and I did such a horrible thing to you that’s close to never getting fix but I’m willing to try... Just like how you tried to pursue me years before.” Nico hoped that Jason would let him but it wasn’t his day. Jason not under the influence of medicine was a lot harder to talk to.

“And it took you how long to realize?” It was clear that Jason was hurt. By the way he talked and moved, he didn’t want Nico to do anything about it. But Jason deserved the truth. If Nico wanted this to work out again, he had to swallow his pride and give Jason his answers. Jason deserved that as much. With a deep breath, Nico started.

“I realized it one morning after Will and I had sex.” Jason flinched. “He wasn’t really good with his choice of words. I admit, I was infatuated with him. He had blond hair and blue eyes, just like you and at that time, I was extremely lonely because you’ve been working so hard that you went home just to sleep. I didn’t exactly have a job then so my mind ran a mile a minute with unnecessary thoughts... For Will, it wasn’t anything serious. He didn’t do serious. He spoiled me for a while but he got tired easily so we broke it off. No hard feelings-” Jason made a sound.

“Good for you.” he said bitterly. “While you left me for no good reason at all.”

“I told you, I really needed to go to Italy-”

“Maybe if you waited a few more days we could have. But you really didn’t give me that much of a choice, did you? So I let you leave. Percy told me to go follow you but why should I when you have your other blond boyfriend?” at this point, tears were welling in Nico’s eyes. Seven years of silence from Jason and this was their first actual conversation and he didn’t like where it was going. “I had everything planned actually. A few days before that tragedy, I booked us flights! First class. Even got a nice hotel reserved in one of those fancy streets where the lights were shimmering and gondolas were available. I even planned on where we’d go after the search. I was suppose to take you to this old basilica which had the most beautiful mosaics and architecture I’ve seen in the internet. What more if we saw it together with our own eyes? And then... I’d...” Jason’s voice cracked. He wiped the tears that started to form in his own eyes. “And I’d... I...” he kept his mouth shut, hit his crutch at the wall and walked away, talking loudly as he left for Nico to hear. “Just take what you need and leave.” then a slam of a door.

 

Nico stared at the door way where Jason had walked through. His chest hurt and suddenly, his limbs felt heavy. Suddenly, he wanted to be back to their temporary lodging, wrap himself with a dozen blankets, hug a dozen pillows and cry his heart out. He knew it was all his fault but he really wanted Jason to understand and take him back. He had been a big idiot and only then, when it was too late, did he realize that it was Jason he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Being in Italy made him realize a lot of things. Most of those realizations told him he was an idiot for throwing a side the man who threw away everything for him. It didn’t make him feel good but it was the reality of his life. He had been an idiot for letting go of Jason after all they’ve been through, after all their sacrifices, after all the joys and laughter. And for what? For a few nights of pleasure of a replica that can’t amount to the actual Jason Grace? Nico di Angelo was the biggest idiot of the universe.

 

Jason rested his back against the door and breathed. His chest hurt but he didn’t let the tears fall. He wasn’t weak. He needed to prove Nico that he was fine all these years without him and that he’ll be fine if Nico leaves again. He was strong. He lied to himself. Steadying his breathing, Jason walked to his study table and opened the right drawer. Inside was a steel container that held most of Nico’s valued brushes. Brushes that Jason bought for him on holidays. On top of it, was small navy velvet box and inside, was something he was suppose to give Nico if ever they reached Italy together.

 

Jason was suppose to ask Nico to marry him.

…..

 

By some luck, Jason caught Nico coming out from the storage room to exit the apartment .

 

“Before you go.” Jason places the steel container that held Nico’s brushes on top of the box the other was carrying. “the brushes you liked to use.” Nico just nodded and continued to walk away. Just as Nico stepped out of the apartment , Jason placed a hand on his shoulder which made him look back. “This too.” the blond places a the small velvet box on the available space on top of the box Nico was holding. “this was supposed to be the surprise...” Jason sighs and slowly, and half-heartedly, closes the door in front of Nico gently.

 

Nico stared at the small velvet box. He hoped it wasn’t what he think it was or else he was going to kill himself. Walking back to the car, Nico laid the box down next to him and took the small velvet box as the driver, Jules Albert, take him away. He held it with such care, he was actually scared of opening it. His heart beat fast but at the same time there was a lingering feeling of anxiety and hurt somewhere in his heart as he slowly parried the box open. Suddenly, his energy drains out of him. A small sob escapes his lips followed by another and then another. Jason was suppose to propose.

 

 

A little bit past four in the afternoon, the rain stopped. Jason decided it was a good time to go out and stretch his legs. He didn’t like being cooped up in his apartment  for so long since it made him think a lot. As soon as he walked out the lobby door, the cool air kissed his skin. He always liked this kind of weather. The cool air always gave him that welcoming feeling he missed. On the field, it was either desert or mud. It only has been a few weeks but he missed the field already, missed the dangers of the unknown and missed the stories his colleagues would share over free time. He liked listen to other people’s stories than tell his. Jason’s life was just plain boring and miserable. Finally, after a few minutes of struggling in his crutches, he reached Leo’s garage. There was pop music blaring from the speakers and Jason was sure the Spanish American was in the middle of work. What surprised him was that Percy was there as well, shoving a mouthful of Chinese food in his mouth.

 

“Jason!!!” screamed the other. He placed his cartoon of noodles on the table and ran up to Jason to hug him. “Oh man I’ve missed you so much!” Leo pulls himself out from under the car he was working on, soot and oil decorating his elfish features.

“Geez Percy. It’s like you lost and found your other half. Just tell me when you plan to confess your undying love for Jason. I’ll be sure to be there with a camera in hand.”

“Ha-ha very funny Leo. I’ve been so busy in the Marine Sanctuary I couldn’t visit Jason that much. Besides, weren’t you just moaning how you miss Blond Superman the other day?”

“Oh shut up. With Jason’s attractiveness and nice body, everyone would be gay for him even Frank.” Jason snorted then laughed. It infected Leo and Percy too that soon enough, they three of them were laughing.

“Wow I missed a good laugh. It was really nice to see you guys today.” Jason smiled, sitting on the couch that Leo had recently put up.

“Did something happen today?” Percy asked whilst Leo slid back under the car he was fixing.

“Nico came by to take his paintings back. Before that, Thalia and I had a little argument. It was kinda stressful for me to be honest.”

“Why did he take his paintings back? Didn’t he paint them for you, for the apartment , years ago?” Percy sat back down on his stool, grabbing his noodles again as he studied Jason for a reaction.

“I really don’t know... I didn’t had the chance to talk at all.” Which was a lie. They’re talk was mostly about the tension. “Did you guys know he was coming back?”

“Not exactly. I just saw him at the usual cafe one night when I was going home. My son was sassing me to be home that night despite how late it was.”

“Oh how is your little Clark? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“As smart as her mother but definitely as handsome as me.”

“I’d probably be a millionaire now if I had a dollar every time you called yourself handsome.” Leo commented from his spot beneath the car.

“Hey, what’s that suppose to mean?” Percy mused. It made Jason laugh. Funny how the small things make him laugh these days. “What about you Jason? Don’t you want little Graces? Oh oh oh! What if you get a daughter and call her Grace? Then her name will be Grace Grace-”

“Percy shut up-” Jason laughed. “That’s not even a good name. The last thing I want to do is name her Grace. People would probably sing her the Amazing Grace all the time.”

“Like Leo used to do when we here in high school?” Percy snickered. People thought someone died when the two of them , Leo and him, sang that at school while fake crying.

“Don’t remind me.” Leo quipped. “We were almost sent to detention because of that idea of yours!”

“Hahaha I know right? Brilliant. But you gotta admit, it got you Piper.” Percy winked at the blond. Ever since high school, Percy and Jason had been the best of friends.

“Well, it wasn’t my idea of getting a girl but it did get me Piper. Happy she’s married to Reyna though.” Jason had hoped the same kind of marriage too. Just a small gathering between friends and celebrating afterwards. He had hoped. The three of them fell into an awkward silence.

 

Suddenly, Leo’s telephone rang. Percy got up from his stool and and walked to the corner where the phone was. He waited for the third ring before answering.

 

“Valdez Autoshop. This is Percy speaking. Oh hey Calypso.” with the name being mentioned, Leo stopped his hand and made a move to slide out from under the car he was working on. “Okay okay, I’ll tell Leo. Bye.” then he hunged up.

“What did she say?” Leo was now off the ground. He had discarded his dirtied towel in the laundry and had attempted to wash his hands.

“She said she’s inviting you over for dinner. I honestly don’t understand why you let her go Leo. It seems to me she likes you so much to always invite you to dinner at her place.” to that, Leo smirked.

“It’s not me Percy.” and Jason understood why. Calypso wasn’t exactly in love with Leo and by the time she had realized she actually did, Leo was lost.

“Huh... I still don’t get it. Everyone else seems to know except me? C’mon tell me.” Percy pleaded with his most puppy look.

“There are things that are better unsaid Percy. It could ruin relationships.” Jason squeezed in. He knew why. It was pretty obvious. Leo was just like Nico.

“What Jason said.” Leo sighed. “I guess its time to take a bath again and make myself presentable. You guys can go now.”

 

Percy gathered his trash of Chinese take out and walked out the garage with Jason beside him. For a while, they just walked down town where the bus usually stopped.  Percy lived at least the outskirts of the town, next to the beach and ruins from the previous war. Annabeth loved that place since the architecture of the bombed area was fantastic.

 

“Where are you going after this Jason?” the both of them had sat by the bus terminal, shaking from the coldness that had settled in town since Christmas was nearing.

“I was really planning to spend my Christmas on field but... This accident. I didn’t plan on it.” there was a sad smile on Jason’s face as he stared at his casted foot. Parts of his body still ached and he knew better to go on field still injured.

“Stay and spend it here with us! We haven’t spent seven years worth of Christmas with you. I have seven years worth of Christmas presents I want to give you.”

“Well I have no where else to go so I just might. Thanks Percy.”

“You know Jason… We’re here for you okay?  I know what Nico did to you was a dick move but you got to move on man. If you can’t love him, love me instead.”

 

Silence.

 

“Not in a homo way or Annabeth will kill me.” Percy chuckled nervously. He was so dead if Annabeth heard that.

“I was starting to doubt our friendship… that maybe you did go gay on me bro.” Jason laughs then, nudging Percy with his shoulder in friendly affection. “I’m really sorry if I made any of you guys feel sad. I know I’ve made life harder for all of you. You all have been very careful with me ever since that accident and sometimes it gets so frustrating that you guys treat me like a baby-”

“But you are a baby. My baby at least”

“You’re total gay for me.” they both laugh at their own silliness. Jason missed these moments. He missed Percy being this overprotective friend. He miss Leo’s mischievousness. He missed Frank’s mellowness and most of all, he missed everything they were before the accident. He was well aware of the effect he had on his friends.

“Can I ask something Jason?”

“Sure, go ahead Percy.”

 

There was silence for awhile until Percy took a deep breath and asked:

 

“Do you still love Nico?”

 

Jason stares at him. He had been asking himself the same question since Nico came back but his mind couldn’t give him a clear answer. His heart also wasn’t sure. He was scared most of the time but then his pride would get in the way. All these years, he had told himself he was okay and that being independent saved him. But in reality, he was just another lonely and miserable man waiting for Nico to come back. And now that Nico was actually back, Jason didn’t know what to do. For one, he was a mess. He didn’t want Nico coming back to him when he was like this. Second, things have certainly changed especially in Jason. He’s not the same Jason that Nico met. The Jason now would rather stay out of people’s business than help.  The Jason now would only take what he deserves. The Jason now doesn’t take risks anymore. And most especially, the Jason now can’t feel. Despite everyone supporting him, Jason just couldn’t tell himself that it was really okay. The anxiety has eaten him over the years and when something good happens to him, he would always expect something bad to happen in exchange. Basically, he lost hope.

 

“I don’t know anymore Percy.” the blond smiles sadly. “I can’t bring myself to believe I’m still worth it after all these years.”

“But he came back for you!”

“Don’t you think it’s too late? Where was he when I was at my worst?” at the thought, Jason reaches a hand to his neck, remembering the feeling of rope. “Did I give too much that when he got fed up, he just threw it away? I know the right thing is to give him another chance but I don’t want him to see the mess I am now. Do I still deserve his feelings after all the horrible things I have said? I know he deserves a chance but do I deserve it?” Jason looks at his bandaged covered hand. This hand used to hold ice in college, as part time job to support him and Nico’s needs. A hand that held shaky ones when they were too frustrated to paint. A hand that lifted heavy equipment when the other was tired. A hand that got burned, pricked, hit and dirtied just so the other didn’t have to suffer. It was unfair. So unfair.

“Jason…” Even Percy felt the burden. “Don’t hold yourself out for something you’re not even sure about. He’s here now. Tell him those moments. He’ll understand and knowing Nico, he’ll try his damn hardest to fix it. You did a lot for him and he left, I get it. It hurts me too but you know what? I’m glad his back and for the sole reason of fixing what you guys had.” Jason gives a watery laugh. The blond wipes a tear that dared to well up in his eye.

“He came to my apartment  today right?” Percy nods. “He retrieves everything that reminds me of him. Even the brushes I bought for him on our anniversary but that wasn’t that only thing I gave back…” Jason looks at his left hand and imagines the gold ring on his finger. The biggest regret of his life. “I never told this to anyone in our group but before Nico left for Italy…” he takes a deep breath. “I bought us rings.” Percy let out a gasp. “I saved up everything I could and even took a part time job to buy these really nice gold rings and of course, the tickets for Italy… and then one day, a day I was so exhausted and happy, I see Nico with his baggage by the lobby, with this Will guy.  He takes Nico’s bags away into his car which left me with Nico. I didn’t know what to say but at the sight of everything, my heart broke. I didn’t even remember being dragged to the cafe. Everything Nico told me didn’t make sense. I didn’t want them to make sense but I understood them, word per word. At that time, at the seat in the cafe, the world crashed down on me and as if trying to salvage what was left, I ran out and followed him, tried to get more out of him because I wasn’t satisfied with his explanation why we were breaking up. The only thought in my mind then was that he was leaving me and maybe for good and it scared the hell out of me. He only screamed at me. People started to stare and like some very tragic drama, he gets in this car and he’s gone. I’m left in a apartment  that’s too big for a single person, all the paintings still on the wall, all the photos still attached on the walls and on the tables, and I just lost it Percy.” blue eyes locks with green. “I lost everything that day.”

“That’s really..” Percy sobs, hacking away the tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry Jason. We never knew. I never knew. You didn’t exactly talked to us after the accident.”

“I really can’t blame him for leaving Percy. I guess I’m just trying to blame someone else for my shortcomings. I should have paid more attention to him so he didn’t have to leave. This was all my fault. That’s why I believe, I don’t deserve this chance at all. It’s really not Nico whose the problem. It’s me. He already left me, found a better person. Who says he might not do it again once he realize I am the boring guy he left years ago? I don’t have anything left. I’m good as dead. What if he realizes this and leaves again? What happens to me then?”

“You still have me Jason… You have Thalia and the gang. You’re not alone.” Percy stretches his arm out and gives Jason a friendly hug, resting his head against Jason’s temple like the used to in high school. “If he leaves, we’ll be there to pick you up. You don’t have to fight your battles alone you know? I can kick people’s ass too! And Leo can make them see starts and don’t forget about Frank. He knows Taekwondo and every martial arts out there!”

“Don’t exaggerate Percy.” that brought a smile to Jason’s lips. The comfort was too much it actually hurt.

“Don’t hold out on me okay? You deserve just as much as I deserve you as a friend. If you think you don’t deserve our support, I’m punching your balls. You don’t need it.”

“I’ll try Percy. It’ll really take time. But really, thank you for always being there for me even though I don’t ask for it. You’re the bestest friend I could ever have.”

“The one and only!”

 

For a while, they sat in the bus terminal in silence, reveling in the comfort the both of them had to offer. Jason wished times like these came often. He was aware he needed time to reconnect with everybody and that their strained relationships need fixed and he swore at that moment that he needed to get his shit fixed.

 

 

_There were Christmas garlands everywhere in the campus grounds. The Music and  Art department had really went out this year that their building shone the brightest through-out town. Jason and Percy had just finished getting their selves fixed in Jason’s condo when the door bell rang. Percy makes his way to the door way and opens the door. In front of him stands Leo, wearing a stupid grin on his face. He walks in without asking permission and immediately lands his cold body in Jason’s massive bed. Percy and Jason exchange looks as they stare at their too happy friend._

_“What’s up with you?” Percy asked. Jason was still in the process of drying himself and picking out his attire for the Yule party to ask._

_“I’ve got myself a date!” Leo exclaims, grabbing one of Jason’s enormous pillows and hugging it tightly._

_“Careful, everything here has Nico cooties-”_

_“Hey!” Jason throws his towel at Percy who was laughing uncontrollably at his spot by the mirror. “We didn’t do anything you perv.”_

_“Ew.” Leo throws the pillow instantly and sits up, fixing his bow tie at the process._

_“So who’s the unfortunate girl?” Percy asks, trying to push all his shirt inside his pants to look presentable for the night._

_“Har har har just because Annabeth is the prettiest blonde- no offense Jason- and you’re her date doesn’t mean you’re the handsomest from the five of us.” Leo pouts. He believed that he was marginally more handsome than Percy and the two of them wouldn’t stop at it ever since._

_“I absolutely cannot deny that. Jason is the most handsomest since he also has stolen my heart with his nice ass.” Percy wiggles his eyes at the view he was seeing in the mirror’s reflection. Jason was busy looking through his wardrobe to even realize that Percy was looking at him through the mirror’s reflection._

_“Can you stop being gay for Jason for one minute? I swear if Nico heard you, he’ll have your head for that.” the Spanish American grumbles and walks to the small refrigerator to grab himself some root beer._

_“So who is it then?” Jason asks this time as he pull a pair of boxers and slacks up his legs, completely hiding his lower half from Percy’s sight._

_“Khione! That pretty 3 rd year from the MassCom department. Oh man I never thought she’d say yes!”_

_“Good for you man. But isn’t she a bit bitchy? I’ve seen her and Nico have a bitch showdown once and let me tell you. It wasn’t pretty but I’m proud to say our Nico won.” Percy stands up from his perch by the mirror and walks to Jason, holding out his neck tie which he had been working on for ten minutes now. Jason sighs and ties it for him, giving the other a pat on the cheek as he went back to picking what color of shirt he was going to wear._

_“I know but who cares if she’s a little bitchy? She’s totally my type with all that spunk.” Leo says dreamily, pulling out his phone from his pocket to check that message that came in._

_“Pretty sure your radar is fucked man. There are better ladies out there than Khione. I do hope this is just a phase.”_

_After a while of moving around and knocking things down, Percy and Jason finally finished dressing themselves. Percy had went for the ocean theme with his shirt looking very much blue green with a fish pin on his blazer while Jason chose to wear a peach colored shirt for reasons he himself have no idea of. His father had always taught him to look his best and that’s what he did even though he had every intention of being casual that night. But there was one person Jason wanted to impress that night._

_“Pssh just because you guys know who you’re marrying…” The Spanish American sighs. He gets up from Jason’s bed and straightens himself, fixing the bed as he walked over the mirror to look at himself. “Can someone please fix my hair? I look like one of Santa’s elf.”_

_“That’s because you are.” Jason says. Percy snorts, then laughs, giving Jason a high-five as the both of them share a laugh._

_“Fuck you both but seriously, help?”_

_“I got you. Sit down.” Jason makes his way to the mirror and grabs a hand full of gel. “Do you trust me with your hair?”_

_“That question scares me but yes, I trust you with my hair.”_

_Later that evening…._

_Percy pushes the double doors of the gym apart, trailing behind him was Leo and Jason. For some odd reason, Jason was wearing shades while Leo had his hair swept back like James Bond. Percy could swear that everyone in their vicinity stared. Well they really did plan on making a grand entrance with Leo as their center. They never did things the ordinary way. Maybe except for Frank, he was always about safety. As they walked further into the crowd, they spot their respective dates. Percy immediately beelines for Annabeth while Jason turns to his right by the punch table to meet with Nico. Which leaves Leo to his own devices. He knew he looked… different but he couldn’t care less what his hair looked like. He just wanted to have fun that night because college was eating every social life he had with every moment of it spent with his friends. Leo really wanted a girlfriend he could be sweet with like Percy with Annabeth and Jason with Nico._

_He scanned the crowd, that sinking feeling that Khione stood up on him never leaving his stomach. His friends didn’t really approve of  Khione for him. They told him that she will just sap the life out of him and Leo, some part of his brain, did agree. But who else was he going to take to a party? No one exactly liked him that way nor did they see him as the date material. Out of the five of them, he was the person who would be the last one to get a date and chances like these were rare._

_Just then, someone tapped Leo’s shoulder. He immediately turned and saw one of Khione’s groupies, as he would called it, gesturing for him to follow her and so he did._

_Back to Jason and Nico…_

_“Why the hell are you wearing shades in an indoor party Jason?” Nico didn’t really mind the shades, it gave them something to talk about, but it was a formal party with dresses and suits._

_“Leo’s idea. Since I fixed his hair like that, he wanted me to look as ridiculous as him. Did it work?” Jason grins, forgoing the shades and slipping them in his suit’s secret pocket._

_“Yeah.” Nico grabs into Jason’s collar and pulls him down, giving him a full blown kiss then pulling away just as Percy and Annabeth join them._

_“It’s not even midnight yet and you guys are already at each other’s faces.” Percy comments, grabbing a sushi from the table behind Jason._

_“Shut up Percy.” Jason says as he takes Nico’s warmer hand in his which makes Nico melt at his side. “Didn’t expect this party to be so… formal. Where’s the fun at?”_

_“Maybe when they bring the alcohol out, yeah. Oh by the way! My dad is inviting us to his summer house thing at California this summer. You guys have to go or else I’ll die watching my mom and dad be all sickening sweet for a whole week while I waste my youth away.” Percy exaggerates. He puts his hand on his forehead and fakes a sigh, leaning towards Annabeth and giving her his most pleading puppy eyes._

_“I thought I was dating a grown man turns out I might have dated a twelve year old.” Annabeth laughs. Jason and Nico also join in as soon as they saw the reaction Percy made._

_“Aw that’s cold Annie. I thought we really had a spark for a moment.” - Percy_

_For an hour, they spent the night with each other’s company. They told jokes and happenings for the past weeks they were busy. By 9pm, Frank joins them with presents  in hand. They were all quite shocked since they all agreed to hand out presents on the 25 th at Percy’s place with Sally cooking them dinner. It all went well until Leo comes back with a frown on his face. Behind him stood a pretty young lady with silver hair. Her eyes were a icy blue, just like Jason’s. Leo slumps in a chair next to Nico, who was eating pizza in peace._

_“What’s the problem man?” Percy asks as Annabeth get up to get for food for them. Jason comes back with two cups of punch, one for Nico and Percy when he sees Khione standing a few steps away from him. Leo doesn’t answer though, he just grabs a pizza from Nico’s plate and shoves a mouthful despite Nico’s protests._

_“I’ve come to return your friend. He’s not much of a company.” Khione says boredly, resting her gaze at Jason. “I’d rather date blondie here.” she smirks, eyeing Jason from head to toe even though his back was turned._

_Nico saw it though and it unnerved him. He stands up and walks in front of her, covering Jason from her site._

_“Unfortunately, he’s taken. I’m his date tonight so fuck off snow queen.” Nico sneers, never leaving his eyes on her._

_Khione looks dumbfounded, her eyes widening like saucers. Soon enough, she was laughing like she just heard the funniest joke ever told._

_“Nice try but a guy like Jason can never be gay. What did he see in you?” she snorts, crossing her arms in hopes of intimidating the smaller figure in front of her._

_Annabeth comes back with a platter when she notices Nico and Khione having a staring contest. Slowly, she sits down next to Percy and takes in more of her surroundings. Frank was watching silently, Leo was stuffing more food in his mouth from Nico’s plate and Jason kept his back from the drama, evident that he was listening to their conversation with the way his eyebrows meet._

_“Sorry to break it to you but Jason is my boyfriend. We’ve been going out for a while now and he will never go out with a bitch like you. And whatever he saw in me, is mine to keep and never for you to find out. Besides…” he smirks. “You’re easy catch and Jason doesn’t do easy.”_

_This makes Khione fume. Her eyes dart at Leo who let out a laugh._

_“Oh this is golden!” Leo claps. “I knew Nico would burn your bitchiness.”_

_“Well if you weren’t so boring then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation, Valdez.” Khione seethes. She returns her gaze to Nico, eyes piercing his. “Don’t think you’ve won Di Angelo. There will come a time that Jason will get tired of you and find someone who’ll satisfy him. You just don’t look the part- WHAT THE HELL!!!”_

_Jason dumps a whole bowl of punch a top Khione’s head, soaking her silky silver dress as the juices cascade down her body. He calmly puts the bowl down the table and looks her in the eye, his own icy pair boring holes into her._

_“I’m never one to fight but you’re messing with my boyfriend here. Next time you talk shit about Nico, that’s not the only thing I’m dumping on you. Trash belongs with their fellow trash. Got me?” Jason cocks an eyebrow, waiting for a reaction._

_Khione screams. She then stomps out in frustration as she exit the premises. No one made a sound aside from the music that played in the back ground. It was Leo who makes a move first, patting Jason and Nico on the shoulder as a thank you gesture. Nico, on the other hand, was looking at the puddle of punch on the floor, shock completely written on his face at what Jason just did. Did he really just dumped a whole bowl of sticky punch on that bitch? Even he wouldn’t go that far but Jason did it anyway. Looking up, Nico sees that Jason at pulled his bow tie off, unbuttoning the top buttons of his dress shirt and messing his hair. Finally, Jason turns to meet his gaze, a lazy grin on his face._

_Badump._

_Nico couldn’t help but throw himself at Jason, who in turn held him with both arms. He didn’t wait for Jason to say anything. Instead, Nico push himself against Jason, grabbed his face and gave him a kiss, closing his eyes as he reveled in the feeling of being important to someone. He loved the feeling of being fought for. It filled Nico with warmth and he knew Jason meant ever word of it. Memories of Jason’s confession filled his mind again and Nico couldn’t help but smile before pulling away, resting his forehead against Jason’s._

_“Blegh I’m surrounded by saps.” Leo gags, deciding to walk away to find himself another date._

_“Go get him Nico!” Percy cheers as the couple twirl around, laughing as they part away._

_Nico stares at Jason lovingly. Not in a million years would he have thought that he’d get this lucky to have someone like Jason. Percy and he might have gone out for a while, which he was happy for, but the happiness that Jason gave was a different level. Most of the time, it made Nico ethereal. It wasn’t a spark kind of affection. It was something that made his chest puff from the warmth he felt, like his stomach always catapulted itself. The kind of warmth that lingers and keeps him up at night, treasuring every moment in his mind, hoping that it’ll happen again. That was what Nico was feeling every time he  was with Jason. They weren’t awkward with each other since they’ve known each other for a long time and Nico knew that this was a relationship that should last… a relationship he will never ever let go unless he died._

_They held each other for a moment, their bodies seeping warmth from each other. Nico had his forehead resting on Jason’s shoulder now, eyes closed as his smile stayed on his lips. He could feel the beat of Jason’s heart, concentrating on it as if trying to memorize every pulse. Slowly, he slid his hands in Jason’s colder ones, shifting his fingers through the spaces that were meant for him. They hold hands for a while until Nico spoke._

_“I love you Jason. I’ve never met anyone who’d fight for me like that… I haven’t really met anyone like you at all.” Jason gives a hearty laugh which rumbles Nico’s body which was pressed against the blond. He loved the sound of Jason’s laugh. Who knew he’d come to love every thing about the man before him?_

_“I told you Nico… I’d do my best to be deserving of you.”_

_“Shouldn’t I be the one doing his best to prove himself to you?” Nico smiles._

_“GET A ROOM!” Percy yells good-heartedly. Annabeth and Frank chuckles with him. They watched the couple slow dance._

_It was a night everyone never wanted to forget._

__

Nico stared at the small velvet box again. He was in a bar. Something he hadn’t done unless there was an occasion. This bar was the fancy kind that was built in hotels. Everything glittered, there were soft chatter everywhere and everything just beautiful. Places like these had became Nico’s sanctuary. He didn’t really have a place he could call his own even back when he studied here. The only comfort he had then was his dorm room or times with Jason… at the thought of that, he downed his glass of rum. He groaned though. He wasn’t much of a drinker but he wanted to try at least. It left a bitter taste. Everything in Nico’s life had a bitter taste. He missed feeling a lot of things and sometimes he wished he couldn’t feel, that he could just through these stupid feelings in the trash and rid himself of problems. For now, his biggest problem was talking to Jason. The blond was hostile towards him and Nico, not exactly good at expressing himself, didn’t know what to do. It hurt of course but if it would hurt this much… should he endure everything and still push on through with his initial plan? He was feeling discouraged from all his encounters with Jason. None of them were happy the least. Each other led to a fight or misunderstanding.

 

But Nico shook it off. He needed to take responsibility for the damage. Jason had done his best for him. While he had things to busy himself, Jason was left with his thoughts on field. God knows how much Jason suffered between wars. Nico had been thinking all these years and it distressed him to no end so how did Jason all this time? At some point, he might have thought he was crazy. That’s what Nico wants to know. Nico wants to hear everything that happened when he left. It was a selfish act and now that he had given that a lot of thought, Nico couldn’t forgive himself for doing that to Jason. The man had been beat up by his father just because he was in a relationship with Nico. Then money was cut off just like Hades did with Nico. Jason had to work two jobs to support himself and Nico. Jason was already in his graduating year then so Nico had to drop his classes and decided to help Jason finish first. They had promised to help each other and so Jason graduated. He got a very decent job that paid for their debts, especially the apartment  they lived in. Jason slaved himself for their survival whereas Nico couldn’t even stay in his job for three months because of attitude problems and clumsy hands. He had broken a thousand cups by then. The memory tugs a smile on the italian’s face. The moment he told Jason that Hades had cut him off financial, Jason swore he wasn’t going to give up and that they can go through the problems together. It gave Nico hope. Thinking about it now, Nico wouldn’t be where he was if not for Jason… and Will. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t develop feelings for the other blond. He did, in fact, had feelings for Will.

 

He met Will in a bar like this one though it was at the other side of town since Nico didn’t want Jason to know that he was out drinking. On that specific night, when Nico had sold his painting for an okay price, he sat on a stool just like this one and ordered for a drink. It was a little late into the night when music started to fill the silent corners of the bar. On the platform a few tables away from Nico, stood a blond with curly hair. There were freckles dusting his face and he had the bluest eyes Nico had ever seen that he was immediately attracted to the man’s face.  Will was wearing a suit then, a microphone in hand. Behind him, the band tested out their instruments before giving the go signal to Will. With a small smile, Will sang

 

_I'll never smile again_

__

Nico perked up at how soothing his voice sounded.

 

_Until I smile at you_

_I'll never laugh again_

_What good would it do?_

__

For a moment, they had eye contact. Will smirked at him while Nico blushed. The guy he just deemed attractive looked at him. From then on, Nico would come back on fridays the same time after learning that Will always performed with his band in that bar. The next time Nico came back, he dressed nicely. Will had introduced himself and they started to chat. They’ve grown to know each other with the times spent together talking during those Friday nights. And then from Friday nights, they met up on other days as long as it was not weekends when Jason would make plans for him and Nico. It was nice feeling that someone was appreciating him again. As long as Jason didn’t know, Nico was safe but it left him guilty. Though the longer they did those secret meetings, the easier it was to lie to Jason.

 

Thinking about it now, Nico released a frustrated sigh. He was such a cheat. Jason didn’t deserve him so why was he here in the first place?

 

Right. That small chance that he could fix everything because after all those secret affairs with Will, he really did love Jason.

 

Nico laid his head on the polished wooden counter. He stared at the ice inside his alcohol-less glass. He really hated himself at this point.

 

“Well who do we have here?” Nico pulls himself up at the sound of the familiar voice. Speak of the devil.

“Will…” the blond winked at him and sat the stool next to Nico, still facing him.

“Been a while hasn’t it?” he nodded at the bar attendant for a drink before mouthing the usual.

“Yeah… didn’t know you’d still be here.” well this was beyond awkward but compared to his conversations with Jason, this was better.

“I work here. Hell, my dad owns the hospital I work in. Did you forget?” the bar attendant had come back to serve his drink. Will takes a sip then goes back to facing Nico.

“I haven’t. I just thought you must have moved out.” Nico shrugs.

“Getting rid of me already? Tsk tsk.” Will smirked to himself. “So what brings you back to this place?” the question unsettles Nico. He glances at the small velvet box next to his empty glass then sighs.

“I came back for him.” He reaches out and takes the box, holding it with both hands and just feeling its surface.

“Jason? Oh well how is that going? Is he still here?” Nico now had Will’s full attention. The blond had finished his glass before looking at Nico.

“Coincidentally…  we came back the same week.”

“Have you guys talked? I bet he’s furious.” Will laughs. It died as soon as he saw how upset Nico was. “Was he?”

“No. Well A little bit but he’s sad. Really sad. It shows in his eyes.”

“Any chance with him?”

“No… I don’t know!” Nico grunts. “He’s very defensive unlike before.” Will squints his eyes.

“Did you seriously think he’d just take you back to his life just like that Nico? You left him for me. Did you forget about that detail?” Though Will had never had an actual conversation with Jason, he knew well enough what the other was feeling.

“I thought he’d listen to me at least! That he’d let me explain-” Will snorts, rolling his eyes at the mention of explanation.

“I don’t think he’d want to hear it when you didn’t listen to him then. I admit, I really liked you but this.” he gestures at Nico with both hands. “You being this spoiled person who expects that it’d go as well as it does in his mind, has got to stop. I was actually glad we were nothing serious, you know? I probably couldn’t handle you when you get like this. I’m also a person who likes to get his way. I really admire Jason. Now I feel bad for sweeping you away from him. He didn’t deserve this shit. Tell me Nico… did you even like me at least?”

“I did! What makes you think I didn’t like you? I wouldn’t have slept with you if I hadn’t nor would I have met with you then in succession.” Nico was hurt. It seemed like no one believed him anymore. “I was really FUCKING stupid to have done those. This really sounds so sad but I was so lonely without Jason and when I met you, that changed. I no longer felt lonely. You made me laugh and feel special again. It made my heart skip a few beats and I’ve been missing those moments then--”

“I sound like a rebound.”

“You weren’t! if you were, we wouldn’t be here right now, talking about my stupid problems. I know how selfish I was, I still am but you have to understand… I’m trying to fix things. But then this-” he holds up the small velvet box. “Complicates everything!”

“Is that a ring?” blue eyes widened. Now he felt really guilty. “Was he going to ask you to marry him?!”

“Yes! And I’m so stupid, so fucking stupid for not listening! Seven years Will. He had this for seven years. I would have understood if he threw it away but he didn’t. He kept this and everything mine all this time… he kept them safe, not even sure if I’ll take my things back… I am so horrible Will. How could I have done this to him?” Tears were now bubbling Nico’s vision. He wiped at the tears before they even fell. “He gave me everything and I just threw it away. I don’t deserve Jason at all but he was the one who made me believe in chances even if they were slim. Now it’s my turn to prove to him that if given the chance, I can be the one for him again.”

 

Will softened at that. Those were words he really wanted to hear long ago. It had been a hunch at first but Will knew in his bones that Nico was going to return to Jason someday. He just hoped that it wasn’t too late considering the weight of the events that took place before they left. There was also a part in Will that wanted to be the one for Nico. He did sweep Nico off his feet because he liked the other just as much and if it went on longer, he might have done the same things as Jason did. He would have proposed to Nico as well but unlike Jason, Will had a limit at how much he could take in Nico’s personality and that’s when he realized that he couldn’t spend the rest of his life with Nico. Will liked to be free from commitment, something he swore in front of his own father.

 

Getting off his stool, Will closes the distance between them and wraps his arms around the trembling figure. Nico doesn’t make a move to wrap his arms around Will, he just cried, letting the frustrations out. He really wanted to make things work with Jason again.


	6. Harder to breath

Another week passes.

 

Most of the cuts on Jason’s skin had healed now but had left scars all over his face, neck, arms and chest. He still had to use crutches but it wasn’t as painful as it used to. All week, Jason felt uneasy. Knowing that Nico could pop up anytime, anywhere, it made Jason cautious. He had given Nico the engagement ring and he there was no reaction from the other. Jason feared what Nico would have thought about it. Did it seem he was desperate? He wouldn’t admit it but he thought of Nico often now that the other was back in town and planned to live in the same area.

 

The thought left a dull headache. Jason sighed and stood by the window. He stared at the people milling about, going through their daily routines and having a great day. Jason contemplated whether to go out or stay in. Thalia and Luke kept visiting him just to make sure he was recovering as planned. Though there was also that lingering thought of his father knocking on his door. Jason knew how disappointed Jupiter must be for Jason to miss his flight back to the barracks.

 

He stopped in front of the mirror and started at his reflection. He looked tired. There were bags under his eyes from all those sleepless nights. On his left brow laid a healing cut. Maybe in a week he could get the stitches out. There were still bruises everywhere but the most ghastly looking one sat just around his neck and collar bone. It was so obvious now that he was wearing a v-neck shirt. He touches the tender flesh with his calloused fingers. The sight made him feel weak. Jason didn’t like to feel weak. He grabbed at his dog tags and stared. He could really use the training right about now. Now that his thoughts are running rampant in his mind.

 

“I should go out…” the blond muttered to himself. Thinking that this would help him get his mind off of things.

 

He grabbed all his essentials- wallet, phone and keys- then left his apartment  without second guessing. The old man by the lobby greets him a good day as he walks himself out into the sunny street. It was such a sunny day to be coped up in his apartment . Nothing good would come out from sulking. Today, he swore, he’d try to be less negative. when it came to days like this, there was only one place Jason would always go to: Downtown. All his favorite shops were there. He heard from Clark (Percy’s son) that there was a new gift shop and that he would like the baby Dory doll from Finding Dory. Jason thought it would be a good gift on Friday’s dinner party. Even with crutches, Jason didn’t find it hard to move along with the crowd. It was almost summer so the number of tourists had increased. For a few minutes, he looked around for any new shop. It wasn’t until he reached the end of the main road when he saw the shop. It was an underwater themed shop. Jason chuckled. Clark and Percy were so alike. Walking in, the bell rang. Jason was amazed at how inviting the place was. No wonder Clark liked the shop. It reminded him of beaches and oceans in an instant. The store clerk, an old man with a balding head, smiled at him. Jason smiled back and walked around to look. Jason loved everything in it. Some items would look good in the apartment ’s living room and maybe he could get himself one of those wind chimes for the balcony and then some small trinkets for the surfaces…

 

“Jason?”

 

Jason froze. He hadn’t heard anyone come in the store and he especially did not know that voice. Turning slowly, he came face-to-face with a blond curly-haired man. He also had blue eyes but his eyes were deeper. Freckles littered his cheeks and neck.

 

It was Will Solace.

 

“Are you…”

“Oh! We haven’t formally met.” Will extends his hand out with a smile. “I’m Will Solace.” Jason looks at his hand, dumbfounded.

“You’re that… the guy Nico…” Jason’s eyes furrowed. What should he do? First of all, he grabbed Will’s hand, shaking it once before lifting his icy eyes at the other blond. “Jason Grace.”

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. I know we started off the wrong foot years ago… and I am extremely sorry for meddling and because of that, I want to fix things between us.” Will had determination in his eyes. Jason saw how the man’s eyes sparkled and he knew, this man was sincere. Surrendering from his inner conflict, Jason sighs.

“I don’t know… You didn’t exactly do anything man. At most, it was my fault I lost Nico in the first place. I was too busy then.” Even now, talking about it left a bitter taste in Jason’s mouth. Memories from that night flashed in his mind.

“You can’t really blame yourself entirely, you were only doing what’s best for the person you love.”

 

Jason squinted at him but he let it drop. Instead, he turned around to take a few items including the baby Dory doll and the wind chime. Will trailed behind him, looking through the souvenirs as well. Jason grabbed for his wallet, only realizing he had no bills in it, just his credit cards. Pulling a gold card out, he looked at the store clerk apologetically.

 

“It’s okay son. With your injury, I understand how hard it must be to move about.” the old man smiles and takes the card.

“Sorry. Got into an accident weeks ago.”

“What kind?” the clerk punched in the item’s prices then held out the card reader for Jason, who punched in his card password.

“Car accident. Ten wheeler truck. It was raining pretty hard and I was driving too fast.” Jason shrugged. The clerk returns his card along with his purchased items.

“I’m glad you’re alive sonny. We need men like you for our country. Here’s a gift from me to you. My granddaughter made it.” the store clerk reached under the counter and gave Jason a small pouch. The blond opens it and smiles. Inside was necklace with a green stone. “She made that to protect me during my service. Thanks to her, I’m still here. Now I’m passing it to you so you come back here okay?” Jason chuckles.

“Thank you sir.” Jason slips the small pouch inside his pocket and then salutes. The store clerk does the same and then Jason leaves with Will still trailing behind him.

“So you’re in the military?” Will asks, now walking beside Jason.

“Yep. Had to take a leave because of this injury.”

“How long have you been injured?”

“Almost a month now. Why?” Will grins.

“I may not look like it but I’m actually a doctor. That bruise on your chest looks painful. That should have been gone at the end of the second week. How about getting it checked out? I’ll check it for free.” Now Jason snorts.

“And why would you do that?”

“It’s my job and like I said, I want to make it up to you. Don’t you want to go back to serving your country as soon as you can?” Jason stops from walking. Will also stops but never leaves his sight at the blond.

“I don’t think I can leave just yet…” now they were both staring at each other.

“Why? Because Nico is here?” Jason glares.

“So you’ve seen him?”

“What if I have? We’re friends.” Will crosses his arms, having no intention of backing down even if Jason was a bit bigger than him. “Don’t jump to conclusions big guy. It’s not like that anymore. You should listen.”

“To you? And why? He wouldn’t have left if you didn’t indulge him.” Jason seethes, gripping at his crutches too hard.

“You think that it was my fault that he was looking for someone else to keep him company during nights you were out?” Will spats out, immediately regretting his choice of words. He was suppose to help Nico and Jason talk! “I’m so-”

“Shut up. You don’t know anything.”

 

Jason clicked his tongue then started to walk away. He was starting to feel like an idiot again. With a heavy heart, he sped up his pace.

 

For some reason, Jason ended up entering the art shop where he bought the set of brushes for their first anniversary. He went to Nico’s favorite aisle and just stared at same set of brush he bought of Nico.

 

_It was a sale day and art students from different schools had gathered in the shop in hopes of buying one of their dream materials. Jason had heard Nico wishing for a certain set of brushes he really wanted and Jason swore to himself that he’ll buy that set as soon as he can. Coincidentally, a sale happens just a day before their first anniversary together. He makes his way through the throng of people, snatching the last set before a girl could grab it off. She glares at him but Jason just shoves the set deep in his jacket. He had went there straight from work so he was in no mood to argue with girl. This was special. He was going to gift it to Nico. That night, as he walked back to their apartment  with the set of brushes safely lodged inside his jacket’s pocket, Jason smiled happily. Between two shifts and his thesis, this was the only joy he could give Nico. The other was stuck in their apartment  since he couldn’t stay still in his part time jobs and for Jason to support them both, he had to work double to accommodate their needs. Jupiter had completely cut off with him a month ago and Jason didn’t want to use the money he had saved up. He kept it there in case of emergency._

_As soon as Jason reached their apartment , he heard a crash. He jammed his key in immediately and swung the door in a rush, slamming it behind him as he ran to the guest room which was Nico’s painting room on most days. The small teen seemed upset that he didn’t bother to look at Jason’s direction._

_“What’s wrong Nico?” Jason had rid himself of his jacket and was now closing the distance between them. The Italian crossed his arms and pouted._

_“I can’t paint anything tonight.” Nico chipped. Tears were daring to fall from his cheeks but he held them back. Lately, Nico would always be frustrated and Jason understood why. Inspiration didn’t come easy for Nico since his father had also cut ties with him and the news about Bianca missing didn’t help either._

_“I’ll be okay Nico. Maybe it’s time to call it a day?” Jason had wrapped his arms around Nico to which Nico melted in. He pressed his face against Jason’s face and sighed, trembling a little as a few tears fell. A cold hand ran through Nico’s mess locks. It made him feel better enough to pull away for a bit and look up to Jason’s face._

_“Okay.” he whispered, smiling sadly at Jason._

_“Why so gloom?”_

_“I haven’t made dinner yet.”_

_“I’ll cook tonight. What do you want?”_

_“You.”_

_“Stop joking.” they both laughed._

_“I want breakfast food then.”_

_“One order coming up!” Jason smiles then pulls himself away from Nico._

_He grabs his jacket on his way out to the kitchen then proceeds to roll up his sleeves to start on dinner. He’ll just give the brushes tonight… he really couldn’t handle seeing Nico sad._

__

A lone tear runs down Jason’s face as he remembered that night. It had been one of his happiest memories but now…

 

“Jason?”

 

The blond immediately wipes the tears from his eyes and turns to his left where Hazel stood with Frank beside her. Frank gives him a wave and a short smile.

 

“What are you doing here?” Hazel walked towards him and followed where Jason was staring at while ago. She noticed the canister full of brushes, the same canister Nico had in his room in their new house. “Nico has the same set as these.” she picks them up and inspects, confirming her thoughts about the brushes.

“He does. I bought it for him on our first anniversary.” Jason says sadly. Hazel puts the canister back and looks up at Jason’s sad expression.

“Are you okay?” Jason just stares at her for a moment. It takes him a full minute before coming back to his senses.

“I’m fine Hazel. Just one of my off days.” He smiles, hoping she buys his excuse.

“I don’t buy it.” She scoffs. Frank joins them and pats Jason by the shoulder.

“How’ve you been Jason?”Frank cuts in. He knew tension when he sees one and Frank had always been the guy to break it.

“Better. Most of the cuts and bruises are gone now. Just waiting for my right leg to heal up so I can throw these crutches out the window.” Jason joked.

“The doctor did say you’ll be good in a month. Hang in there buddy. There’s a week to go. Improvements can still happen in a week.”

“You sound like a real businessman for a moment.”

“Because I am.” they both laugh. They didn’t notice that Nico had reached the same aisle as them.

“Hey… that’s a nasty looking bruise.” Nico comments, eyeing the same canister Hazel took a while ago before looking up at Jason’s down cast eyes.

“Yeah. Will said he’d give me a free check up for it.”

“You met with Will?!” Nico couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The last thing he ever wanted to happen was for Jason to meet Will.

“We bumped into each other while I was buying a present. Why so surprised?” Jason finally lifted his gaze to meet Nico’s shocked eyes.

“I just didn’t think you would want to meet him after…” Nico shifted uncomfortable. He wasn’t prepared for this situation. He had never predicted the two to meet at all.

“No big deal. It was actually nice talking to him.” he lied. Jason hated every moment of it. It was a miracle that he was talking to Nico normally though. “You here to buy new materials?”

“Yeah… new brushes and paint.”

“So you really have moved back here?”

 

Frank and Hazel watched the exchange. They hoped that this would go well since it had been long since Jason and Nico talked properly without Jason blowing a fuse.

 

“Yeah… Near Calypso’s hotel. We’re actually having a house warming party in a few days and maybe… you could…” Nico bit his lower lip in nervousness. It had been a while since he felt this giddy. “Ihopeyoucouldcome.” he hurriedly said.

“What?” was Jason’s response. Nico makes a sound, clenching the hems of his shirt.

“I hope you could come.” he finally says. Jason is silent for a while.

“Depends whose cooking.” Jason teases.

“H-hey! I’ll have you know, my cooking skills have improved over the years!”

“I didn’t say anything.” Jason smiles. Nico blushes. Hazel and Frank felt like they were invading their privacy and slowly slipped out. They were happy to hear the banter nonetheless.

“You were so implying it.” Nico crosses his arms.

“Suuuuuuuure… Well I need to go. I’m an hour late for my medicine schedule. I’ll just see you whenever.”

 

The blond turns around to leave. Nico watches his retreating form from his spot. He felt light and quiet contented at the moment. That was their first conversation that didn’t lead to tears or misunderstandings and it felt nice. Looking around, Nico set his eyes on the same set of brushes Jason had bought him years ago. He smiles at the memory, one he held very dear. He felt so happy he dashed to Hazel and Frank to talk about dinner. This was his “Jason effect.” Jason always gave him hope.

 

 

That night, Nico had found himself in the hotel where Will waited for him. He had an extra skip in his step as he entered the bar. At their usual table, Will sat, glasses and papers littering the table’s surface. By the looks of it, he had just left he hospital and still had work to do that even as Nico sat down in front of him, Will didn’t bother looking up.

 

“Hey.” he starts, looking at the mass of papers on the table.

“Hey yourself.” Will sighs. Finally putting the papers down and looking up at Nico with tired eyes.

“If you still had work to do, we could have met some other day.” Nico mused. One folder caught his eye. His eyes widened at the name. “I met with Jason today… he said you guys met.”

“Yeah… about that.” Will sighs again, taking his glasses off this time. “I didn’t know he was admitted to our hospital. I asked someone for his records and I found something…”

“Found what?” Nico grabbed the folder and flipped it open. The terms were too foreign for him to understand but the ones he could make out didn’t sound good. “What’s…”

“Seven years ago, he was admitted for alcohol poisoning. For two weeks, he was in a coma… though to be specific, he had Hypothermia, a disease that drops body temperature. Most people confuse it with coma since it both shows unconsciousness but in Jason’s case, his body temperature dropped to the 3rd level, the severe one. And for his body to recuperate,  it went on shut down. Thankfully, everyone did their best and got his temperature to rise up… but it doesn’t end there.” Will watches as Nico’s face morph. He knew this was too much to take that he can’t even believe it himself. “I’m sorry Nico. I didn’t know.”

“June 28th… that’s the night after we… What did he do?” Nico put the folder down. Pictures of Jason with bruising and pale complexion slid out of it. There were numerous tubes and lines hooked under his skin and Nico couldn’t look anymore.

“He drank to much. That night, a storm had come and for reasons I still have to ask, he fell into the river. It took them five hours until they got Jason out of the water. By then, he was already unconscious… Today is the first time I’ve actually seen him and he is pale. What bothers me is the bruise on his chest. It looks so nasty it must get examined… bruises don’t usually last that long especially in that size. By now, it should be yellowish green but it’s still purple and black and that’s not good. I don’t know about his medical history on field but… I’m guessing it’s the same with the records we have in the hospital.” The blond stared at Nico’s mortified expression.

“He drowned?” at this point, Nico was feeling small. He had his hands over his mouth as he forced his trembling lips to still. All he could hear from Will was a sigh.

“He did. A month after the incident, Thalia Grace arrives. Jason is still admitted due to ‘suicidal tendencies’ as the psychiatrist reports here. Thalia then tries to talk to Jason about rehabilitation but he insists he was fine. It just gets awful from there…”

 

Nico couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Will continues with his reports and it didn’t take long enough for the tears to flow. Everything was just horrible and yet Jason was still here today, seven years after and has probably spent his days suffering. The guilt was too much that he started to cry again. He had been crying more since he came back. Hazel thought it was becoming unhealthy that she had suggested they go out and do things Nico considered worthwhile. Today was one of those days. He got to buy new materials and he and Jason actually had a good conversation. He thought…

 

Nico sobbed.

 

Will was instantly at his side, wrapping his arms as sob after sob wrecked Nico in. He felt hands caress his scalp yet he wished it was Jason who comforted him at that moment. Is this what he came back to? Maybe if he hadn’t left then… Maybe if he waited a little bit more…

 

Another heart wrenching sob escapes his lips as the pain tighten in his chest. Everything was too painful to process yet he still admire how Jason could get the energy to get up everyday and do the same things he had been doing for years.

 

“Hey… it’s alright Nico. He’s still here today.” Will tried to lift Nico’s face up to him but the other wouldn’t budge. Nico kept his hands pressed up his face as he continued to cry.

“It’s all my f-fault..” he sobbed, voice cracking. “I-if I hadn’t left… if I-I had just wa-waited and m-maybe…” Will couldn’t say anything. He was just as torn as Nico was.

 

 

The days were becoming colder and colder and Jason wouldn’t have it any other way. He liked the coolness against his skin despite the threat it poses to his health. He could say he has gotten used to the cold now. It never really bothered him but everyone else made a big deal out of it. He couldn’t blame them. They were just worried for him. The thought made  Jason feel empty inside. He has such wonderful friends yet he couldn’t trust them with his life. At most, he’d be ready to throw it away. He also doesn’t know why he’s standing in front of his mirror, dressed up to meet Percy and his family. He knew he was just acting just so they would get off his case but somehow, he wanted someone to knock some sense into him like “hey you idiot, you can’t do this alone. Let me help.” the problem was… will he let them?

 

Jason looked at his bruise one more time then closed the button of his polo. It was Friday and the  sky rumbled outside. He should probably bring an umbrella but he didn’t want to bring much since he’s already holding into Clark’s present. Frank was down stairs in the lobby waiting for him. The guy had volunteered to drive him to Percy’s house since the trams had already stopped by five pm.

 

Grabbing his essentials, Jason locked his door and went down to meet with Frank. As usual, Hazel was with him. Judging by their clothes, Jason guessed they were going out on the date as well. It made him feel embarrassed for keeping them.

 

“Hi. I didn’t know you guys were going out tonight. Sorry to bother you Frank.” Jason gave an apologetic nod towards the two of them.

“It’s no problem Jason. What are friends for?” Frank smiled. Hazel also smiled but there was a hint of worry on her facial expression.

 

Jason could only smile at that.

 

The drive to Percy’s  house was a silent one. Though Jason could see Hazel glancing at him once in a while as if she had something to say to him but just couldn’t find the courage to. Just before the car turns left to Percy’s street, Hazel finally speaks.

 

“Jason…” she starts, fidgeting on her spot.

“What is it Hazel?” Jason peels his eyes from the window and turns to her.

“Would it be too much to ask if you and Nico go out tomorrow?” Hazel gave her puppy eyes on and Jason was sure Frank was watching them through the mirror.

“Go out? To where? What for?” he couldn’t help asking these questions. He just wanted to be sure on what to expect for tomorrow.

“There’s this hotel with the  restaurant he really loves and since we’re staying here and you know… maybe you guys could go out on a date again?” the last part was barely audible but Jason heard it. A date huh? That would depend on how the night would go tomorrow.

“I’ll think about it Hazel. It depends on my physique. I’ll just contact you after lunch if I can and then you can tell me all about it. Right now… we’re almost at Percy’s and I don’t want to keep you from your date with Frank.” Jason smiles. Hazel seemed hopeful. She gives him her calling card. “I’ll send you a message.”

“Thank you so much Jason. You don’t know how much this means to Nico.” Hazel practically beams.

 

And truth be told, he really didn’t know how  much it meant to Nico. All these years, he had come to believe that he didn’t mean anything to Nico and this coming from Hazel, Nico’s half-sister, it contradicted his beliefs. Having the card in his hand made it feel omnimos. Was this a risk he was willing to take?

 

As if taking him off his thoughts, the car stops. Jason looks up at Frank and then at Hazel.

 

“Well we’re here… Again, thank you for the ride Frank and I hope your date goes wonderfully tonight.”

“The same goes for you too Jason. I hope you have a wonderful night with Percy, Annabeth and Clark.”

“That I’m sure of.”

 

They gave each other a friendly smile and then Jason was out of the car. In front of him stood a family sized house. The porch was littered with various toys and crafts while the window panes had plants on them. There was a lone wind chime jingling with the wind and it helped calmed Jason’s frayed nerves. Over the years, Percy’s house had become a home to Jason.  Slowly, still in crutches, Jason made his way to Percy’s porch. He knocked thrice, hearing shuffling behind the door, it swings open to reveal an excited Percy with Clark, his son, at his feet.

 

“Uncle Jason! You made it!” a kid of two feet lunches himself at Jason’s legs. He stumbles a little but manages to stay in place, chuckling at his excitement.

“I was starting to think you were gonna back out on me man! Glad you can make it! Come in, come in!” Percy lead him inside which felt warmer. “Annabeth! Jason’s here! And you said it was the pizza dude.”

“I can’t always be correct Percy!” Annabeth yells back from the kitchen.

 

They arrive with the table set and Annabeth setting the plates. The aroma of the food wafted into Jason’s nostrils and it instantly made him hungry. It was only when Clark tugged on his paper bag that he diverted his attention.

 

“What’s in this?” he asks innocently.

“Oh I almost forgot. It’s for you.” Jason lets go of it as Clark automatically holds it.

“What’s in it?” he asks as he tries to peak through the un-stapled areas of the opening.

“Why don’t you open it?” Jason smiles.

 

And so Clark did. He got to the floor with the paper bag in front of him and started tearing it away. Jason watched as brown paper pieces fell around the small figure in front of him. It made his heart swell when Clark’s eyes widened at the toy in front of him. The shriek he gave was endearing that Jason couldn’t help but smile himself. He watched as the small boy got to his feet and showed the Dory plush toy to his parents. Would he get to experience having a child one day? Would his heart swell like this whenever his child showed him something? It was something he’d been thinking of for a year now. There were even times he was close to adopting a kid from an orphanage but there were factors why he couldn’t, one being his health. Second would be his job. It’d be nice to hold a child in his arms though… he wanted to know the feeling of staying up late at night just to feed a crying baby and successfully putting them to sleep. That would be so satisfying in Jason’s life. But he knew he can’t with the way things are with his health, physically and mentally, the child would just suffer.

 

He had taken it up himself to throw away the thought of having a child. At this point of his life, it seemed to him that it didn’t matter and thinking about it late at night only made him frustrated. Once in a while though, his mind would wonder over that idea but he didn’t let his mind linger on it. It’ll only frustrate him more once he realize why he couldn’t get one.

 

Jason was snapped out of his trance when Clark ran up to him and hugged him around the knees. He put his hand gently on Clark’s head and smiled.

 

“Thank you for the gift uncle Jason!” he says cheerfully.

“You’re welcome.” Jason smiles.

 

They gather around the dining area as Annabeth placed their dinner on the table. Jason and Percy talked while Clark took his time playing with his new toy. It was a feeling Jason hadn’t felt in years. The feeling of home. He liked their company very much and Jason craved for it but he knew his place. It made him insecure thinking about things that wouldn’t matter to other people but he couldn’t help it anymore. It was like every good thing about him had left him. And what was left now was an empty household with cold walls with a storm brewing inside. It was a sad thought. Thoughts like these always plagued Jason especially at night when he’d be alone in bed, lying down and wondering why he was such a mess.

 

They were just a few minutes done with dinner when a cry rang through the living room. Annabeth immediately got up from her seat and ran to the living room where their other child, a baby of five months, was lying in her crib. It totally surprised Jason since it had been years since he came back. He turned to Percy with wide eyes and in turn, Percy just shrugged his shoulder with a sly smile on his face.

 

“You have a baby???” Jason asks innocently.

“Yeah. The new addition to the family… Nathalie Jackson. You should totally meet my little girl!” Percy exclaimed, turning his gaze to Annabeth who had brought their daughter with her.

 

She had a soft smile on her face as she cradled their youngest in her arms. Jason watched in amazement as Annabeth lowered her daughter to his arms. He had this panicky look in his face as Jason took the small baby in his arms. Percy took his crutches from him and watched his best friend cradle his daughter gently, as if  Jason would break him. It warmed up Percy’s heart to see Jason smile and laugh at the little things Nathalie did. He couldn’t help but laugh along with Jason when Nathalie grabbed the blond’s finger with a laugh.

 

“She must think you’re Annabeth who had an haircut. You know, being blond and all.” Percy mused.

“Oohhh what if I cut my hair as short as Jason’s then? Would your man crush disappear hm?” Annabeth chuckles at Percy’s torn reaction. It had been an inside joke of their group that Percy developed a huge man crush on Jason and Annabeth would be the first one to use it against him in playful situations.

“I-it’s not like I have a thing for blondes!”

Annabeth and Jason laugh at that. Percy actually had a thing a for blondes. Blondes were the first thing Percy always noticed. Annabeth had concluded that Percy was really just fascinated with the hair color and that Percy must have fallen in love with her because of it but she knew better. Teasing Percy was one way of her to show how much she loved the man and that marrying him was the best decision of her life.

 

Watching them left a bitter taste in his mouth. Again, it was these times he wished he could share it with someone significant to his life. His friends were either married, getting married or had someone significant while him… he stopped looking for anything apparently. He stopped hoping someone would come into his life because he was already sure it was Nico. That was before Nico left him and even though Nico came back, he wasn’t sure he will ever ready to have an exclusive life with him, with anyone at that matter. Even thought he was close to hitting thirty in two years… Jason didn’t feel he was ready for the family life. He lived off his friend’s lives. They had it better than him anyways so he was happy for that, happy for them.

 

Though there was still that tug in his chest…

 

“You look nice with a baby in your arms, Jason.” Jason was drawn out of his thoughts when Percy mentions it. He returns his gaze at Nathalie, who has fallen asleep again.

“Yeah… but I have no idea on how to be dad so it’s better I don’t have one.” Jason lied. He wanted nothing more than to be a dad.

“That’s too bad.” Percy sighs. He had hoped though.

“But haven’t you thought of having a family of your own Jason?” Annabeth continues as she puts away their plates to wash. “We’re not getting younger you know.”

“I know…” there was a sad smile on Jason’s lips as he thought over the idea of family again. He just couldn’t. “I guess I’m just not ready to have one any time soon. I’m happy for you guys though. You’re living that life now.”

 

The three of them fall into an awkward silence after that. They all knew why Jason couldn’t but they all had hoped even Piper, Leo and Reyna hoped. The events in the past weren’t really easy to forget especially in their little group. Everyone was affected immensely and Leo was the one affected them all that sometimes, their conversations would end up with Leo blaming Jason for things that weren’t his fault… or so the majority of them thought. Jason remembered every detail of those fights with Leo, things that burdened him today because he caused a lot of pain for his friends. Sometimes he thought, what if he just pulled himself together instead of caving in to the dread of being alone.

 

On most days, Jason wished he could fix all the damaged he had done.

 

 

It had always been chilly at night and Leo never once liked how cold it got. He’d complain about how his fingers free with the sudden drop of the temperature and he’d always complain why he lived there but he could never think of a reason to leave the place. He had no family to go back to. His friends all lived in the small town and most especially, all of his memories started here, all the good and bad experiences were here and he didn’t feel like leaving all of those behind. He wanted to be where his friends are, his second family are. He just wished he didn’t messed up like the last time…

 

“Leo? What are you doing here?”

 

Leo pulls his gaze up from the pavement. He was met with a puffy-eyed Nico di Angelo and behind him was… another blond that Leo assumed to be the guy Nico left with years ago. Somehow, that got his blood boiling in behalf of Jason.

 

“I could ask you the same thing di Angelo. What are you doing here…” he side glances at hotel. “with that guy?” the blond’s eyebrows furrow.

“With all due respect but whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong. At least know what’s going on before picking a fight.” the blond scoffs, fixing the color of his shirt.

“This is not what it looks like Leo… Will and I… he just showed me some things.” a sigh leaves Nico’s lips as he still try to take all the information in.

“What is it then?” Leo was still skeptical. Ever since Nico came back, he had been quiet doubtful of the man’s motives. This was the real world for crying out loud. Who would return to their ex after seven years of break up?

“This.” The blond holds out a rather thick bundle of file to Leo who took it and opened the cover. As soon as he saw Jason’s name and realized what it was, he returned it to the blond man.

“What then? After learning what shit Jason got himself into?”

“I just-- I didn’t ask for this Leo.” Nico said pointedly, his eyes never leaving Leo’s burning gaze.

“I honestly don’t know what you want Nico. We played along with your whims and look what it brought Jason, more pain. Is that all you’re going to give the man who gave everything to you? I wanted to help not because I trust you, but because I thought you’d fix things, fix the damage you’ve done to Jason but look what it got him, more injuries. Haven’t you had enough? Aren’t you done hurting Jason? And now you’re saying you didn’t ask for this. Maybe not but you surely didn’t think it through, did you? You just left like a fucking hurricane, leaving a mess of things, leaving a too big apartment for one broken-hearted man. I hope you realize the wreck you left with those freaking documents. I’m starting to think you can never fix anything.”

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you saying this?” Nico was feeling the heat rise into his chest. He didn’t want to explode in a public place, he had enough of those explosions.

“Because I know Jason won’t tell you. He’s that kind of person.” Leo says smugly even though he was starting to regret ever talking to Nico about Jason.

“What the hell do you know Valdez? You weren’t that close with Jason and I’m pretty sure you still aren’t. Who gave you the right to speak to me that way?” the pain was slowly diminishing inside Nico and was now being replaced by pride. He had Leo go his way the last time but not this time when he’s trying to fix what he caused.

“I was with him through the pain. You, where were you then? Frolicking in Italy? Having a great time with that guy-” he points an accusing finger at Will. “while Jason suffered and wanted to kill himself every single day? I WAS THERE TO SEE HIM TEAR HIMSELF APART! YOU WERE NEVER THERE NICO, NEVER!” screamed Leo. His hands had turned into fists through out their argument that he hadn’t realize how hard he was balling them.

 

And those words shook Nico.

 

The silence had forced Will to step in and cover Nico behind his back. His gaze loomed over Leo who was no taller than Nico. He gave a pointed look at Leo before speaking.

 

“I know I ruined a beautiful relationship but not everything was Nico’s fault. This is the real world. People get impatient. We all know Nico made unbelievable choices in his life and he admits it. What we can do is help him, who can help Jason recover. Don’t always think about the down side of things Mister Valdez. We do things that are not favorable for everyone else and in Nico’s situation, at that time, finding Bianca was his priority.”

“So you’re telling me Nico got bored of Jason because he was so busy making all those goddamn money for the goddamn trip to Italy, where Jason was suppose to propose, and found comfort in you instead? Bullshit. I don’t see why you deserve Jason, Nico. You’re a fucking hypocrite.” Leo was glaring at them at this point. If only he could punch the looks on their faces…

“No, I mean-” Will was cut-off with Leo’s hand suddenly rising, signaling for him to stop talking.

“I’m not the one who should hear this because I’m not the one whose life  is ruined. Explain it to Jason. One warning though…” Leo pushes Will aside to look pointed at a lost Nico. “Do it while Jason’s still around.”

 

And with that, Leo left. Nico watched as his form slowly became smaller and smaller until he was out of sight. He weighed what those words meant and he hoped it wasn’t the worst of his thoughts. At this point, he wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing anymore.

 

Leo made his way to Jason’s apartment. He wanted to talk to Jason as soon as possible to rant about his encounter with Nico but the moment he got to Jason’s apartment, he was disappointed of what he saw. At his usual spot in the living room, Jason was sitting on the floor with a blanket around his shoulders while a few bottles of alcohol littered the carpeted floor. The Spanish American sighed as he went in. He knelt next to an intoxicated Jason and grabbed the blond’s face.

 

“Hey Leo.” Jason slurs with a stupid smile.

“Hey yourself. Why are you getting drunk? Didn’t you tell me you were over this already?” he grabs the bottle out of Jason’s hand and places the half-full bottle on the coffee table.

“Annabeth asked me if I had a plan of… uh… um… what was it again…” Jason closed his eyes for a moment then opened them as if something magnificent came into mind. “if I wanted a family! Yeah!”

“And what did you say?” Leo knew these were one of the sensitive topics and he was also curious of what Jason thought about family.

“I’m not ready… to be a dad…” and then there’s that sad look in Jason’s eyes again. A very familiar look, an image that had burned into Leo’s skull. “You know…”he sniffs. “I don’t have much-”

“Shut up Jason. Don’t think that. It won’t happen okay? I’m here.”

 

Leo pulls Jason into a hug and he knew what would happen next. He felt the trembling at first and then larger arms wrapping themselves around Leo’s torso. He had no choice but to sit on Jason’s lap to close the distance between them. A thing they’ve done quite often before… Soon enough, Leo could feel the tears seeping through the front of his shirt. Jason always got like this when he was drunk. He’d always cry about unfulfilled dreams, always cry about chances he had miss and most especially, he would always cry about his numbered days.

 

“It’s never going to work out with Nico ever again… he should just… go back to Will. At least that guy… will stick around longer. Don’t you think?” they had pulled away at this point. Jason had his eyes casted down at Leo’s midsection as he spoke.

“Don’t be like that Jason…” Even Leo was getting teary eyed at this point. Jason runs his thumb over a tear that had started to form in Leo’s eyes with a sad smile. He had done this to Leo, he had made a damage he couldn’t fix.

“I’m sorry for ruining your wedding with Calypso. I’m sorry for ruining your life Leo. I’m sorry for a lot of things…” Jason cupped Leo’s face with both hands and slowly, pulled their forehead’s together almost lovingly. But Leo knew better. Jason was always gentle. “I’m sorry for a lot of things.”

“We’ve been over this, remember? It’s okay now Jason. Don’t sweat it man.”

 

_Once in a while, Leo would come and visit Jason in his apartment on his off days. It had become a routine now that Jason was unemployed and had no will to live anymore. He liked to think that it was helping Jason but the days got worse and Leo was running out of options until one night, when Jason was drunk…_

_“You’re hair is so fluffy Leo.” Jason purrs from behind him._

_Somehow, he had found himself sitting on Jason’s lap while watching his favorite cooking series. He really didn’t mind it at first since they were that kind of friends that were touchy with one another but it surprised him when Jason’s arms wrapped themselves around his midsection. A squeal had elicited from Leo then which Jason found funny. It had been a while since Jason laughed so he let it slide. Until the hug got tighter and Jason buried his face on the curve of Leo’s neck. It gave Leo goosebumps to feel Jason’s breathe against his skin that he started to squirm._

_“You smell so nice too…”_

_“Of course I do. I took a bath, duh. You smell bad because you’ve been drinking dumbass.”_

_“Mmm… you always smell nice…” Leo turned to face the blond. This was starting to creep him out. Jason wasn’t like this. Maybe the guy was too intoxicated to even realize what he was saying._

_The Jason he knew wasn’t like this. Jason was the epitome of prim and proper, if not him, it was Frank. He had always been that friend that took care of everyone not the other way around. It could be the alcohol but Jason wouldn’t let alcohol influence his thinking. If it did, he knew when to back off. Is this one of those side-effects of the medicine the doctor was saying? If it was, it definitely made Jason sound dumb and Leo disliked it. He wanted his old smartass friend back._

_“You honestly sound so dumb right now Jason. Will you stop that?”_

_“Okay…” came Jason’s short and meek response. Jason laid his head on Leo’s shoulder then._

_There was a comforting silence between them after that. All Leo could hear then was the television noises and low music from the store outside. If Jason hadn’t drank before he came, Leo would have taken him out sight-seeing. He had been reading about depression and one of the few things to do when someone was depressed was take them sight-seeing. But the plan was spoiled as soon as the smell of alcohol hit Leo’s nostrils so they ended up having an awkward hangout at Jason’s living room. Everything in the apartment seemed untouched especially the paintings. With the way Jason raged at the hospital before, Leo thought that Jason would have tore the apartment the moment he got back. In all honesty, Leo was scared to set Jason off. It was either he got hurt or Jason hurts himself. The cut on Jason’s wrists were proof enough that the blond lost his will to live and had tried to take his own life. This Jason now is someone entirely new to Leo. It was like Jason made a very invincible wall around him in those months admitted to the hospital. The blond still smiled and laughed at his jokes but there was no mirth in Jason’s eyes anymore, just a bottomless pit of dread and sadness. Leo really felt bad for Jason. Who in their right mind would leave a guy like Jason? What Nico did was truly selfish. If he didn’t like things in their relationship… Nico should have just said so. Jason would do anything for him! Instead, Nico found some other dumb blond, who happens to be a doctor of the same hospital Jason was admitted in. The similarities weren’t surprising though. Blond, blue-eyes and freckles, though Jason’s freckles were around his shoulders. Both of them had blinding smiles, at least that’s what Leo thought of when he saw the other blond’s picture in the hospital lobby._

_“Leo…?”_

_“What is it Superman?”_

_“Am I worthless?” The question unsettled Leo. This was the first time Jason asked it since he got released from the hospital._

_“You’re not.” This made Leo turn around, which makes their position more awkward but for a friend, he ignored it. “Whatever is going on in your head should go away. I’m here okay? I’m here to kick those thoughts away so be strong blondie. It’s not the end of the world yet. You got me! And Percy and everyone else. You’re not worthless Jason.” this was starting to worry Leo immensely. He had never met anyone more sad than him. He laughs at his own misfortunes but Jason tends to brood over them like today._

_“I don’t know…” and then there was that sad smile again. Tears were bubbling Jason’s eyes again and this always strained Leo. He didn’t like seeing the tears. Jason was someone who didn’t cry and seeing him with tears in his eyes… Leo just couldn’t believe it. “It feels like I am… Isn’t that why Nico left?”_

_Leo couldn’t answer that because he didn’t even know what exactly made Nico leave. Despite the bad break-up between Jason and Nico, Leo couldn’t really resent Nico for what he did. Leo lived in the reality that people have valid reasons why they do bad decisions in their lives. Due to the silence, Jason took that as an answer instead. He smiled bitterly to himself and let the tears fall. He didn’t care if Leo could see how ruined he was because all he could feel at the moment was how everything ached so bad especially his chest. Jason wished he knew a way to live without his heart because at this point, he didn’t want to feel anything. He thought the alcohol would help but it only brought the memories back and even though the doctors had warned him to stop drinking due to his condition, Jason couldn’t think of anything else to do with his life._

_“Jason…”_

_Leo hated seeing Jason like this. It wasn’t like him. As if feeling Jason’s pain, Leo felt his own chest hurt. He held his hands out and wiped the tears from Jason’s cheek with his thumbs. This was an intimacy Leo didn’t dare to trespass especially with his wedding not far away, he didn’t want people to think wrongly of his relationship with Jason. He just wanted to be there for his best friend while he recovered. It got tiring sometimes but Leo knew how pain worked. He lost his mom from his own stupidity and he never met his father, what’s Jason’s pain any different from his? He grieved too but not to Jason’s extent._

_“Don’t cry man. I’m not used to seeing you cry. Gods, I never even see you cry. This is all new to me, should I start panicking now?”_

_Thankfully, the joke worked but not for long. New batch of tears started to fall from Jason’s face and even though he was biting his lower lip to keep the sobs in, Leo knew how hard Jason was crying by the way his shoulders shook. It was liking watching his friend drown in air. Who does that? If Leo had to describe it, Jason cried violently in silence. It was like Jason didn’t want to know how much he was hurting inside and Leo couldn’t compare his pain with Jason anymore. This was a whole new level of pain Leo had never experienced and he didn’t know what to do._

_“I honestly don’t know what to do with you Jason. I have never been cheated nor have I given everything to one person.  Kinda pity you for giving everything to Nico now you have nothing left. You’re just this hallow person and I don’t know who you are.”Leo sighs. He brings Jason’s gaze to him and smiles sadly. He really couldn’t get used to Jason crying. “But I want you to know, that no matter what happens, I’ll be here and I will help you. I don’t know up to what extent you will hurt but I want to help ease your pain. You’re an important friend to me Jason. I usually got mistreated because I’m an orphan but not you. You even treated me like family even when you dad wanted me out of your house. You even bought me a ticket just so we could watch and support Percy with his swimming tournament! I’ve never felt that kind of kindness until I met you and now I want to return the kindness you have given me. I want to be there for you now that you’re hurting. You’ve always been understanding and now I’ll put more effort into understanding your pain.”_

_Jason tried to laugh the tension away but it ended up with a sob escaping his throat. Leo pulled him into a hug as he felt the bigger body in front of him shook again. Jason grabbed into him tightly and cried. He cried so hard that even Leo could feel his own body shake from the tremors that rode through the blond’s tired body. How can someone so big feel so small about their self? All could Leo do was run his hand through Jason’s hair to soothe him. At this point, no amount of comforting words alleviate what Jason felt._

_He just wished he could do more than just a hug._

Leo stared at the empty eyes before him. Jason had totally zoned out on him now. Those eyes used to look more alive but now there was nothing in them. Leo thought there was still hope into pulling Jason back up but at this point… under these circumstances… He shook the idea away and closed his eyes in frustration.

 

“You should go Leo…” came Jason’s hoarse voice.

“Will you be okay on your own?” Leo carefully asks. The last time he left Jason things were….

“I’ll be okay. I always am.” and there was that half-ass smile. Jason pushes him off his lap gently and staggers to his room. “Just turn the lights off for me please.” he sighs before closing the door behind him.

 

Once upon a time, Leo Valdez had an affair with Jason Grace that ruined everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really good *hides* I've uploaded everything that I have in my files. I just thought I'd update whenever. I'm sorry this is so sad. I don't know how to happy.


	7. Heart's a mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No use crying over spilled milk.

_“Ja-jason… shit!”_

_Beneath Jason, laid a rather breathless Leo, sweat running down his temple as he clutched on the sheets as if it were his last life line. Whatever they were doing… no one knew of it. It was something that the both of them agreed on keeping silent with. If Calypso knew his fiance was having sex with his best friend…._

_“AH! S-slow down!!” yet more moans escaped the smaller’s lips. As much as he denied it to himself, he liked the feeling of Jason deep in him._

_“Sorry… I can’t…” Jason panted out._

_He grabbed into Leo’s waist and continued to thrust in him in a hurried manner. Leo couldn’t keep up with the friction. He clung on the sheets tighter as his body shook, his whole body overheating as he came into their stomachs. He let out a throaty gasp before Jason spilled his not long after. He pulls out and drops himself next to Leo. There, they laid breathless while basking at each other’s heat. This wasn’t how they tended their lives to be but it happened. At first Leo was scared that someone, specifically Calypso, would find out about his little affair with Jason but as the days stretched, as the stolen glances and kisses increased, it became hard for Leo to decline Jason when he’s so free. Nico had it good. Sometimes it made Leo jealous that Nico had this kind of treatment from Jason._

_Jason was kind. This was the Jason Leo always knew. The Jason that would tease and smile. The Jason that laughed even at the meanest insults. The Jason that knew how to comfort other people with a smile on his face and a resolve that would carry you with them. Leo missed this Jason and he was glad this Jason was back. To top it all off, he was even happier that it was because of him. He hadn’t told anyone about this but he had been looking at Jason even when they were young. Especially when they were in college. The only difference then was Jason had his sights on Nico and Leo was good at pretending that it didn’t really matter who Jason looked at. But it became quiet unbearable at some point that he’d avoid their little group more so when he realized that Nico was actually pinning for Percy. They were such a complicated bunch but… even now, he still can’t tell Jason what they were._

_“Don’t you think… it’s time we stop this Leo? I mean…” Jason breathed out. “You’re getting married in a month. As much as I enjoy our casual fuck, I’m starting to feel guilty for sweeping off your feet. Calypso doesn’t deserve this.” Leo turned his head to look at Jason._

_The thing is… he really didn’t want it to end. He finally got Jason to himself and somehow, the marriage didn’t seem so appealing to him anymore. Leo knew he shouldn’t even been entertaining this idea but Jason… was right in front of him. He was very conflicted at this point. Would he choose the girl he had always been dreaming of or the guy who was a dream that came true? He liked Calypso but if he was really being honest with himself… he didn’t love her. He couldn’t open up to anyone else but Jason. Was that healthy? Shouldn’t he be able to open up to Calypso as well?_

_“There’s still a month before the wedding and besides…”  Leo smirks. He gets up and straddles Jason by the waist. “What did you say about sweeping me off my feet?”_

_Jason couldn’t help the smirk that made its way to his lips. He rests is hands on Leo’s hips then pushes him down. A small gasp escapes from Leo but was cut short when Jason pressed his lips against the other’s. it was such a happy moment for the both of them until they heard the door swing open and glass shattering._

__

There was a chill in the air that morning. The sound of the seagulls resounded around as Calypso look out the vast sea outside outside the lobby of her hotel. She pulled her jacket closer to her as she stepped closer to the glass wall. At the cliff garden were several tourists eating their breakfast. It must have been nice to be eating at that spot but the thought had always left her bitter. That garden was supposed to be the same garden where she was going to be married in 6 years ago. The garden she had tended herself so that when the day came, she had a garden to show Leo. A garden she brought up herself because of the thought that she and Leo would be spending their time together in that garden. Because of how hard she was staring at the garden, she hadn’t noticed Nico approach her.

 

“Good morning Calypso. Hazel wanted to- are you okay? You’re crying.” Calypso hadn’t realized it until Nico pointed it out. She wipes the tears with the sleeve of her jacket and turns to him, holding back a sob and actually putting it off with a small smile.

“I’m fine. What is it?”

“Hazel was asking about the house we were renting… There seems to be a hole in the roof. Water would drip from above to the stairs. She wanted to know if you knew anyone who could fix it.”

“I’ll get Leo.” she said like it was a chore. There was a huff from her as she pulled her phone out

“Also Calypso…” Nico fidgeted at his spot. Should he really ask this?

“What is it Nico?” Calypso was about to walk away until the Italian called her attention again.

“I want to know some things that happened while I was gone…. would it be a bother if I asked a little of your time? We can have breakfast together.” Nico hoped Calypso would talk. The others felt that they couldn’t tell him because it would hurt Jason. Even Reyna refused to talk about what happened years ago. “No one seems to take me up on that offer and since you’re not part of their circle maybe you know some things. That would help me a lot with Jason.” at the mention of that name, Calypso’s jaw set. Hearing Jason’s name instantly ground her gears.

“You want to know something? Jason’s not the same man you once knew.” she spat out of bitterness. “If you really want to know what happened then, follow me. I’ll make us breakfast. Besides…” her face softened. “You look like a wreck yourself.”

 

They exchanged smiles as if understanding each other’s predicament. With silence between them, they moved to a much more private area of the hotel, the part where Calypso actually lived in. It was Nico’s first time seeing it. At the back of the hotel was another garden but this one was a lot bigger and lavish than the one by the cliff. Since Calpyso preferred to live a little bit into the woods, Nico felt ethereal of his surroundings. There were a lot of pastel color flowers and the air smelled sweet, everything that Calypso was. At the end of the vast garden was a small cottage. A few puppies greeted Nico enthusiastically and he couldn’t help but pick up one of the small golden retrievers bouncing around him. Calypso kept a small smile on her lips as she pet every one of them. This was her comfort zone. It made her feel safe yet Nico could see sadness in her eyes. Inside, it was quaint and rather relaxing. The blonde immediately got to the kitchen and started pulling out ingredients while Nico sat on a stool by the bar adjacent from the kitchen.

 

“So…” Calypso opens and closes the oven. “What do you want to know about your ex?” and this was the Calypso Nico knew very well. She was blunt with her words.

“I want to know what happened after the accident… after the drowning. Were you updated?”

“Oh I was there alright. Every moment of it.” she seethed. Despite doing her most favorite thing in the world, she couldn’t help but frown at the events that plagued her mind at the mention of the accident.

“What happened?” Nico could feel his gut twisting. By the sound of Calypso’s tone, it wasn’t good.

 

Calypso had pulled out her chopping board and had started to mince a lot of things, pans were being heated by the stove and something was already heating inside the oven. She took a small glance at Nico before putting more force into her cooking.

 

“After he got released from the hospital, he was in some kind of house arrest as Percy and Leo claim it. The best solution was to send him to rehab but Jason refused, claiming that he wasn’t that ill to be sent there and the doctors actually believed him. So he stayed at home, crying his heart out or whatever.” she throws in the minced ingredients on the pan and started to fry. “Leo was a frequent visitor since the others were pretty busy with their own careers. I was busy too. The hotel was given to me that year so I had my hands full so I really couldn’t visit Jason when he was traumatized. Moving on…” suddenly something blazed in the Calypso’s workplace that caught Nico’s attention. It quickly died as Calypso threw salt at it. “That was also the year I was supposed to get married with Leo but…” she stops and stares at her burnt cooking. “They’ve been cheating behind my back.”

 

Nico’s eyes widened at what he heard. None of them had mention of Jason and Leo playing around. The thought itself surprised Nico. Jason wasn’t that kind of person. Jason wouldn’t do such a thing! But could he? Calypso wouldn’t lie to him and if she’s saying that Jason and Leo….

 

“So they…” Even Nico couldn’t say it with the lump on his throat.

“They’ve been fucking with each other.” Calypso finishes his sentence coolly. She sets a plate in front of Nico and puts the stir fried rice on it, placing the other things she had been cooking and reheating. For a while, she just stares at it, completely absorbed with it as if it was the most interesting thing in her life. “I couldn’t believe it either… I thought Jason wouldn’t… but they did anyway and it ruined my chance to spend the rest of my life with Leo.”

“What…” Nico couldn't comprehend what he was hearing. He didn’t want to believe it but it wasn’t impossible especially with the state he left Jason in. “I’m so sorry for asking you about this Calypso. I didn’t know…” he tried to swallow the lump on his throat but it turns out that it hurt. His eyes began to sting again and he knew if he didn’t drink anything at the moment, he’d cry in front of Calypso.

“I cried too. I cried so hard when I saw them that day. It was too much to take in and… I loathe Jason because of it. He took Leo away from me and no amount of his apologies can fix the ruin he had made. So I’m going to ask you this Nico… would you still want a man like Jason? A man whose morality doesn’t matter anymore. A man who steals. A man who cheats and most especially… a man who doesn’t know anything sensible anymore. Do you still want him back into your life? Because to be honest, I don’t want you pinning for him again. He deserves all the suffering he’s experiencing right now and I’m glad his days are numbered-”

“What?” Nico blinked at her. What did she say? “What do you mean his days are numbered?” Calypso sighs. She takes a fork from the utensil rack and started punching holes on the meat pie she made.

“It is what it is. His days are numbered Nico. He’s dying. Honestly, you should just get back with that other blond you left with. He seems a better fit than Jason.” she grumbled, shoving a forkful of pie into her mouth.  “Haven’t you noticed how sickly pale he is? I’m just glad Leo’s unaffected. I’m actually surprised he’s still alive. It even surprised me more he’s in the military. But then again…” she stopped and placed her fork down. “Jason’s not the only one to blame.” at this, she looks at Nico pointedly. She demanded an answer. The news about Jason’s days being numbered unsettled Nico but with the way Calypso was looking at him, he had to gather his thoughts again.

“I know… I started all of this and I don’t know how many times I should apologize to you people to forgiving me, but I am trying my best. It wasn’t all easy for me you know. By the time Will and I got bored with each other, it hit me that Jason had always been the person who completely understood me and I taken him for granted. Maybe I just missed the banter but Jason had always been there for me. That night we broke up, I was just making excuses so I could leave. Maybe I should have just left silently but Will demanded I broke up with Jason to make us official. At that time… it sounded such a good idea.” Nico smiles a little at the thought. “I wasn’t sure of I was in love with Will but I definitely like being with him… even now. I’m so confused of what I want! After things didn’t work out with me and Will, I suddenly started missing Jason. Unlike Will, Jason would wait for me in the mornings. He’d make sure to say his good morning and good nights. Will did those but not as religiously as Jason did. They both pampered me but it was so awkward when Will did it. I feel forced to accept whatever Will would give me while with Jason… we weighed the pros and cons of this and that. I missed the small snippets of time with Jason and that’s when I realized, when I was in my father’s house with Hazel, that I really missed Jason. I thought back to the time he had confessed. He was cold as snow but he was there for me when things didn’t work out with Percy. He waited… he…” it was suddenly becoming hard to breath for Nico. It was like his chest was being cut open, to expose his heart beating. “He really threw everything away for me, even his father’s trust and that was the most noble thing anyone would do to someone like me. Someone, who at that time, had nothing. He gave me a lot of things to make the emptiness go away. I couldn’t even return a simple kiss. I know I’m realizing too late about these things, but I really want things to work out between us again… I couldn’t help but get distracted because I missed Jason so much.” there were tears in his eyes at this point. Not only did he take Jason for granted, he also made Will his rebound.

“Ah so you do love him, but your judgment was clouded so you left with the person was temporarily making you happy. I see… I can’t blame you after all.” she smiled a little. “Sometimes I wish you just came back you know? I wish you came back earlier and maybe you have saved a lot of things but that’s just me wishfully thinking. I still loathe Jason today, but I also pity him so much. It’s like as Leo told me before, he gave everything that when you left, there was nothing left for Jason. It was like everything he gave you, you brought it along with you to Italy… he was a totally wreck when you left Nico. He got so depressed he drank every night, he also smoked and the worst of it was he would do a lot of people then. It’s a different person every week it was disgusting. That was before his father came down from Alaska. Thalia just got back then too. His father beat some sense into him and when I say beat, I meant physically. Jason was bedridden of a week to recover and after that… he was gone. No note or call. He was simply gone. Thalia fixed the apartment for him and left too. For months we had no news about him aside from the fact that he was working in the front lines. For three years, Jason kept his distance then he came back, a little healthier but definitely sadder. He didn’t stay long though, that was only for a week. I think he couldn’t bare the guilt when he saw me and Leo going out into dates again. This is the second time he came back from service and coincidentally, you come back too. I really thought you forgot about this place for good. But let me tell you something Nico… whatever happened these past weeks aren’t your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. The accident, we can blame that on Jason but that’s not on you. Don’t beat yourself up too much okay? I may not be close to Jason but I know he wouldn’t want you to think this was all your fault. There’s a lot to consider, but that’s not important anymore. I’m glad to hear that you’re back to fix things. I may not be able to help you, but I support you. I wish you can actually fix this for us.” with a sigh, Calypso got up. “Not everything is you’re fault Nico.”

 

 

Beep. Beep beep.

 

Jason groaned as the alarm on his bedside table rang. The first thing he did was check his watch, which he forgot to take off due to last night’s events. With blurry eyes, he assumed it was past nine in the morning, which explained the massive headache. Today felt like a day Jason wanted nothing more than to mope and lay in bed. Every since he got back, all he had ever done was go out and meet people which always put a downer on him when he gets home at night. This was one of his worries before he got back. He expected them to hate him for suddenly leaving twice but he came back.

 

Suddenly, a thought came into his mind. Last night, Hazel had asked him to go out on date with Nico. What for? It felt like a bother and if Jason brushed Nico off enough, the guy might stop and maybe, things would be better for him without Jason being involved. It had been seven years and with that span of time, Nico could have had a family of his own. Thinking about it, why is he really here? Jason just couldn’t accept the fact that Nico came back for him. Gods, no. What’s there to come back for anyway? He was just… Jason. Just Jason Grace. The guy he left seven years and also the guy whose damaged beyond repair. Jason knew what kind of person he had became and he was not proud of what he had became. If he was to describe what he was now, he was like a marshmallow. He used to be so white and fluffy and everybody liked him. Now he’s still a marshmallow but really burnt and decomposing. His outer self is burnt hard and as much as he try to act tough, he was still soft inside. Since when did he put up these walls around him? People cared so much for him, these were his friends yet he couldn’t even stop for their sake. It frustrated him so much.

 

It frustrated him that he had become frustrated.

 

Usually, he didn’t let these things bother him. He knew he was better than this! But why does he always feel like it’s not enough? People constantly tell him he was great, nice and good but why is it that he felt the opposite? He doesn’t see those traits in him at all. All he did was do his job and be rational yet people still see better at everything.

 

That somehow frayed Jason’s nerves some more.

 

“Are you going to mope around all morning? Get up and eat breakfast you big baby. Leo made you omelet.”

 

The sudden intrusion of Thalia’s voice made Jason jump so fast that he grabbed the gun under his pillow and pointed it at her, oblivious it was his sister.

 

“God you scared me. I thought someone had broke in my home!” Jason screamed, dropping his arm to the side with a shake of his head.

“Not in a million years did I imagine you pointing a gun at me…. I’m glad you have good reflexes though but breakfast! Get your ass up! Leo made you breakfast like the good house wife that he is to you all these years!”

“I HEARD THAT!” Leo yells from the kitchen. Jason rubs at his temples and shoves the gun back under his pillow.

“I thought I made it clear not to bother me today.” the blond sighs but gets up. Black spots cloud his vision but he managed to stay on his feet. He could hear Thalia click her tongue but didn’t bother moving from her spot. Instead, she leaves from his door way.

“Can’t do that. You can’t even take care of your fucking self Jayce.” Jason follows after her to the kitchen. Luke was there eating himself but Leo was still busy by the stove. “Honestly, your apartment can fit ten people yet you’re here, alone.”

“I don’t really want the company you know? Shit… now I have more reason to not leave my apartment despite Hazel tell me to….” Jason grabs a seat next to Luke at the dining table and grabs a bit of everything, shoving pancakes and bacon at the same time with a satisfied moan.  

“What did Hazel tell you?” Leo reminds him, finally finishing with his own combination of breakfast, which Jason reaches over for to steal a strawberry from his plate. “Hey!”

“Share.” Jason grins before eating the strawberry. “She wants me to meet up with Nico or something but I don’t want to. I’m feeling quite lazy right now.”

“Why don’t you go?” Thalia asks. She had been taking bits of food from Luke’s plate which the other blond looked happy to do so.

“Why should I go? Not that I’m being bitter but… I’m not the one he needs.” Jason shrugs. Leo just looks at the siblings for a moment, feeling like he shouldn’t be here for this.

“In case you didn’t get the memo Jason, he came back here for you.”

“Well I’m politely going to tell him to leave me alone.”

“Why are you being hard on him? You could at least try and fix something and at least be friends with him. He came all the way from Italy for you-”

“I don’t think you get it Thalia.” Jason grits his teeth. He really didn’t want to talk about it. “He left me in the first place. I’ve been living my life without him despite it starting out bad. I’ve been making progress-”

“It’s not progress if you still have to chug down alcohol when something upsets you!” The table rattles from her fist slamming on the table. “I’ll only acknowledge progress if you don’t get yourself in to accidents! Or lock yourself in this apartment the whole day when you can do so many things. Get over it Jason. Move on! There’s no use thinking about how he left you! It happened and you can’t do anything about the past anymore. At least he’s trying!”

 

BAM!

 

Jason throws the chair down and glares at her. Silence falls into the room as neither of the siblings back down. Luke and Leo exchange looks but didn’t make any movement. The both of them knew it was too early to interfere and they were actually looking forward to Jason’s little outbursts. At least this way, Jason gets to let some steam off.

 

“You don’t even know him. How can you even say that? He left me Thalia because he got bored and I was fucking poor! He made it very clear that he didn’t want to do anything with me anymore and him coming back won’t fix the damage I have become. And you know what’s so sad about all of this? It’s never going to work out!”

“How the hell would you know that when you haven’t even tried?!” Both of them stood their ground, eyes locked at one another with chins held high. None of them knew how to back down.

“I just know okay? I can’t explain it but I know it won’t work out! I can be friends with him but that’s it! Don’t you guys ever fucking expect more than that! I came back not because I want to, I was forced to come back and don’t even force me to tell you why because it’s stupid!” Jason pulled himself away from the table and marched back into his room, slamming the door behind him.

 

Thalia sat down and sighed, food long forgotten. Leo and Luke exchanged looks then nodded. They may not be the closest of friends but they knew what to do with situations like this. Leo just hoped Jason at least finished his breakfast. From their group, he was the only one who knew why Jason was actually back.

 

“I think we should go before Jason finishes his shower. He might have woken up at the wrong side of the bed today.” Luke joked, hoping it would lighten the tension around them. Thalia sighed once again then stood, grabbing her jacket. She looked tired as ever and Leo felt bad. Jason was being an idiot again.

“I’ll leave Jason to you.” she says warily. She gives a small smile then they leave Leo alone in the dining table.

 

Leo stares at the empty table. Even he realized this was getting tiring but he wanted to be there for Jason. He knew the pain that weighed Jason’s shoulders, some of it came from him after all. He just hoped there was more that he can do for Jason.

 

 

After what seemed like an hour of standing under the shower, Jason got out of his bathroom and stared at his reflection again. Pale. Always so pale. When will he ever get some color back?

 

Suddenly, his phone rings. As much as he wanted to look at his ghastly reflection, the message might be important. He walks to his side table and picks it up, taps on the message and reads.

 

[9:15am]

 

Hazel: Good morning Jason. I don’t mean to bother you but I hope you don’t forget to contact me before lunch. I’m looking forward to that promise :)

 

Jason frowns. The numbing pain of the hangover made him forgot about his promise to Hazel last night. Now what he was going to tell Hazel now? He wasn’t prepared to meet Nico today nor will he be in the future. Jason still felt too anxious to be near the man even if his intentions were harmless.  How was he ever going to fix this?

 

IN NICO AND HAZEL’S HOTEL ROOM

 

Nico had just come back from his disastrous breakfast from Calypso’s.  He hadn’t expect that story at all. Thinking about it just made his chest hurt. Jason was involved in an affair? And to top it all off, he did it with his best friend too. Seeing Nico’s troubled expression, Hazel stepped closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. Nico lifts his head up and tried to hone his facial expression but seemed to fail when Hazel gave him a sad smile.

 

“What’s on your mind?” Hazel sits next to him, golden eyes never leaving. Nico takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. It hurt.

“I just came back from Calypso’s house and I learned a few things about Jason…” he starts, avoiding eye contact immediately.

“What’s it about?” Hazel asks gently. She knew how anything about Jason would make Nico feel upset.

“It turns out…” he sighs. “Jason was involved in an affair. He and Leo had been fooling a around before.”

“What…” Nico could heard the falter in Hazel’s voice.

“Calypso and Leo were supposed to get married a few years ago but then… Leo had an affair with Jason and Jason was just as guilty. He knew about the engagement yet that didn’t stop them from fooling around and now… Calypso despises Jason. Thinking about it, she asks me if I still want a man like Jason back.” Thee was a pained expression on his features but he went on. “And I’m starting to doubt all of this. What if this is not worth the trouble Hazel?”

 

There was a momentary silence between them. Even Hazel couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

 

“I don’t know what to say Nico. I don’t know who Jason is exactly. I only know him from your stories and I also like the Jason you met. But this Jason we’re hearing about… I don’t like this Jason at all. What do you want to happen now?”

“I…” Nico casts his gaze at his hands. He was nervous about everything. “I still want to fix things between us but I’m not sure after that…” and to prove his point, Nico reaches inside his back pack. He takes the small velvet box and shows it to Hazel. “But things aren’t supposed to be this way.” Hazel gasps and closes the distance between them with a hug.

“Oh Nico.” She runs her hand through Nico’s messy hair and whispered soothing words. “That’s how life works. We get reckless when we think there’s nothing for us to do. I can’t justify for Jason but… I know it was wrong of him. Now, it’s up to you on what you want to do.”

“It’s really not the same anymore.” Nico keeps his head down, staring at the velvet box. This could have changed a lot.

 

Suddenly, Hazel’s phone rings.

 

She pulls away from Nico and grabs it.

 

“It’s Jason.” she announces. Nico’s face shifts into dread. He wasn’t ready to hear or meet with Jason but he knew that there were things that needed to be talked about.

“Answer the call. Ask what he needs.”

“Okay.”

 

“Hi Jason.”

“Hi Hazel.” there’s shifting from the other line. “About my promise yesterday…”

“What about it?”

“I’m free today and if Nico wants to… I don’t know, maybe we can… Uhm..” Jason sounded tense. Hazel could hear a glass being taken out.

“Oh! I’ll ask him. Just wait for a bit.” Hazel puts the phone against her chest, eliminating any sound that Jason could hear from the other line. “Jason’s asking if you want to go out today.”

“Huh? Why so sudden?” the idea itself made Nico jumpy. Why so soon?

“I talked to him last night… that if he didn’t mind meeting up with you today. I’m sorry Nico. I can always tell him that-”

“No.” He cuts her off, taking the phone from her clutches. He puts the phone against his ear and says. “Hi Jason. I’d love to meet up with you today.” he faked his cheery voice.

“O-oh… Where do you want to meet?” Jason shifted from his line. It seemed like he was being fidgety.

“There’s this hotel in central I like. Hotel Soleil, ever heard of that?”

“No. I’ll ask Leo.” the name gives Nico a twinge of jealousy. He just shrugs it off and takes a deep breath.

“Okay. Meet me there at 7’o clock. Sound good?”

“Yeah sure. Don’t expect much though.”

“I won’t.”

“See you then.” then Jason hangs up.

 

Nico stared at the phone in his hands and wondered if this was a good idea. More than anything, he wanted to hear it from Jason’s lips. At least let the man be honest with him.

 

 

Leo sent a message on how to get to the hotel Nico was talking about. Jason found it easily because of his training in the military which gave him a lot of time to wait for Nico. His hangover had subsided before he left and he was thankful for once. He wanted to talk to Nico properly for once. But about what? There was nothing to talk about since there was nothing worth talking about on Jason’s part. Nico must have a nice few years now that he found his sister… well half-sister. What ever happened to Bianca anyway?

 

_Pick apart_

_The pieces of your heart_

_And let me peer inside_

_Let me in_

_Where only your thoughts have been_

_Let me occupy your mind_

_As you do mine_

 

There was a singer on stage Jason didn’t bother to look at. The thoughts kept Jason occupied enough that he didn’t notice Nico approaching his table. Jason just dumbly stared at space until Nico made a sound to announce is arrival. Jason snaps his head up.

 

“Oh hey.”

“Hey.”

 

They stare at each other awkwardly until Nico decides to sit opposite of him. The awkward silence settle between them immediately. It was rather dumb but they didn’t stop at their staring contest. It was like they were seeing each other for the first time.

 

“I honestly don’t know what to tell you. Hazel just made me promise to meet you today. Though to be specific, she said date.” Jason explains. He relaxes against the leather cushion behind him and diverted his gaze. He couldn’t keep his stare anymore. On the other hand, Nico snorts and crosses his arms. He kept his gaze at the other, feeling his blood actually boil.

“Isn’t that nice.” he snipped. “I wasn’t suppose to go but I needed to ask you something.” This makes Jason face him. There was an uninterested look in his eyes but at least he made eye contact.

“And what is that?”

“I want you to tell me what happened to you after I left.”

 

The words rang inside Jason’s head. Nico wants to hear the story how he drowned himself? Or did he want to hear the things that followed? It made Jason nervous. There were things he couldn’t tell Nico especially the affair with Leo. That had been the second most biggest mistake of his life and Jason wanted to forget that as much as possible.

 

“Tell me what happened that night until the recent happenings. All of it.” Nico demanded. He held Jason’s gaze and he was not going to get no for an answer.

“And why would you want to know?” Nico’s jaw set at that. It was an annoying question.

“Because I heard it from someone else but I want to hear it from you. I don’t want to be an asshole in this conversation.”

 

_Your heart's a mess_

_You won't admit to it_

_It makes no sense_

_But I'm desperate to connect_

_You can't live like this_

__

There was another short silence between them. Jason calls over a waiter and orders something. Moments later, a bottle of red wine was placed on their table with two glasses and a bucket of ice. Jason takes his time to pour himself a glass. He takes a sip and sits back down, moving his gaze to the bar where a bar tender was doing a few tricks.

 

“I drowned. That, I’m sure you know. Everyone won’t stop talking about it.” Jason starts.

“Will showed me your medical history to be exact.”

“So he works at that hospital huh? Well everything there is true. I drowned. Got hypothermia, alcohol poisoning, got into a coma for a few weeks. I also got hospital arrested-”

“What?” that shocked Nico. Jason laughs it off. A fake laugh to lightening up the atmosphere.

“I’m kidding. I was sent to the Psychiatric ward for suicide attempt while still being admitted. That was after waking up from the coma. I got through the whole month until they sent me home, said I was healthy enough to join society again.” and to validate his story, Jason removes his wrist watch and shows Nico the ragged scar on his wrist. “This is the ticket to that ward.” Nico could only frown at the scar.

“I’m sor-”

“Shut up. I’m not done. The last thing I want to hear right now is your apology because I tried to kill myself.” Jason chugs down his glass of red wine and pours himself another. “I’m not gonna lie Nico. It hurt when you left me. I had enough pain to numb out everything. Thalia wouldn’t stop pestering me to go to rehab but I’m not that crazy.” heaviness settled in Jason’s heart as he continued on.

“I still attempted multiple times after being released from the hospital though Leo was always there to give me enough guilt to stop. I mellowed down after that… but I had developed a bad habit of drinking everything away. I’d drink myself to sleep because I was so hung up on you. I couldn’t even bring myself to take down your paintings until two years after the accident.”

“That’s when my dad came and beat the crap out of me.” there was a small smile on Jason’s lips as he told this part. “He cussed me out so bad until I agreed to follow his every command. Thus, earning myself a spot in his boot camp.”

“I was glad he did that or else I’d still be lost now. He got me into special training. Even made sure I was healthy enough to go to mission. I thank Doctor Apollo for that. It was a good five years on field until…” Jason sighs. “Apollo sends me back and tells me to retire. I didn’t want to leave because I wanted to feel the danger of fighting for my life. A life I would throw away if I kept myself here. But he had enough reason to send me back. My dad wouldn’t want it any other way either. Then comes my step mom who completely erases my name on the list. So here I am, back to this small town.” Jason takes a sip from his glass then finally, looks at Nico, who had been holding on his empty glass while staring at the bottle of wine.

“You forgot to mention your affair with Leo. Why did you do it?” Jason glares at him.

“Calypso told you?” By now, Jason was drinking his third glass.

“Of course she told me… she was suppose to get married to Leo if not…” Nico didn’t have the guts to finish it. They both knew.

“If not for me. I know. I’m such a fuck up.” the blond puts his now empty glass on the table and just rests against the leather couch lazily. “I was out of it. That’s my only reason. I couldn’t kill myself so I got reckless. Ruined all of my friend’s lives. I became a bastard no on asked for and you know what’s funny? I liked every minute of it.” Nico squints at him, not believing the words that came out of Jason’s mouth. “It gave me a reason to feel. To feel sorry for myself because I couldn’t get myself to move on from you. Sad isn’t it?”

“Yeah… really sad.” Nico sighs. This wasn’t what he was expecting.

“I do feel bad about everything.” it came almost like a whisper but Nico heard it. “If I had the chance, I’d try to fix every damaged I’ve done to everyone but not everything could be fixed. I ruined an engagement. Calypso won’t even give me time to apologize. She can hate me all she wants but I wish she tried to listen to Leo’s apology.”

“Why’d you do it Jason? Did I matter to you that much?”

 

Jason grits his teeth. His hands turning into fists as he tried to keep himself calm. What kind of question was that? Wasn’t it obvious that Nico was his everything then?

 

_You have lost_

_(Too much love)_

_To fear, doubt and distrust_

_(It's not enough)_

_You just threw away the key_

_To your heart_

_You don't get burned_

_('Cause nothing gets through)_

_It makes it easier_

_(Easier on you)_

_But that much more difficult for me_

_To make you see_

_Love ain't fair_

_So there you are_

_My love_

 

“I would have grabbed that stars for you if you wanted.” and that faraway look was back in Jason’s eyes. “You were everything to me. Now I have nothing. You took everything I had, crushed it at the palm of your hands. I’m a stupid guy. I don’t mind the pain as long as you had a happy ending. Even if that happy ending didn’t include me… Maybe if you came back five years earlier, there might have be something to save but now? I’ll say it clearly: you’re wasting your time. I’m not the same Jason you loved-” Jason stops. “Ah… but you didn’t love me.” the blond’s jaw set again as he tried to hold down his emotions. It felt like someone had stabbed and opened his chest to show to Nico. “I was just an infatuation. Because I was blind enough to give you what you wanted. Things Percy couldn’t tell you-”

“Jason.” Nico warns.

“I was merely a rebound for your unrequited feelings for Percy.”

“Jason.” Nico repeats with much more force.

“I was too devoted that I didn’t realize it wasn’t me. I’m a boring man. I work too hard. I looked too far ahead that I-”

“JASON!”

 

_Your heart's a mess_

_You won't admit to it_

_It makes no sense_

_But I'm desperate to connect_

_And you, you can't live like this_

 

The chatter from their surroundings stopped. People had moved their heads to see the commotion. In the silence, Nico heard ringing in his ears as he stared hard at the blond before him. Jason looked just as surprised as the other guests as he watch Nico breathe harshly. Jason knew that look. Just like him, Nico was holding in the emotions he didn’t want to spill.

 

“I loved you okay? I really do! But right now, I realized, you are right! This is not going to work out.”

 

Ah. The words that Jason never wanted to hear. It was okay when he denied it himself but it was different when it actually came from Nico. It hurt more like icicles had impaled themselves in his chest. Of course they weren’t going to work out. Jason was an asshole.

 

“I’m really sorry what I made you go through, I really am! But I realized how emotionally draining you have become. It’s like, you’re sucking everyone’s life force with being this depressed person you are. I understand you went through shit but it’s not entirely my fault that happened to you. You have a choice. You always had a choice! The problem is, you didn’t make the good ones. You expect me to fix all of this? Hell, you have to fix yourself too.” there were tears in Nico’s eyes as he spoke. Jason knew that this was something Nico didn’t want to say but he needed to. And he understood why. It just hurt since it’s being slapped to him.

“I know Nico. I know. You wanted to know so I just told you.” Jason takes a shaky deep breath and clothes his eyes, stopping the tears that were to come. “I knew for the longest time that this can never work out.”

__

_Love ain't safe_

_You won't get hurt if you stay chaste_

_So you can wait_

_But I don't wanna waste my love_

 

And it really hurt to hear that. Nico rubbed at his eyes as he silently sobbed. Jason wanted to stand up and hug him, take back everything he said but there were things that needed to be established that night. Like the fact that Jason was never going to be that one Nico grows old with even though he wanted to be the one who gets to wipe the tears away. It hurt him but he couldn’t do anything for Nico anymore. He was as good as dead to the man and himself.

 

“Couldn’t help but go see what’s happening over here.” came a new voice.

 

It was Will Solace coming to stand next to Nico. He wraps his arm around Nico and makes the Italian face him. Jason just watches as Will pry Nico’s hands away from his face as he wipe the tears himself. That could have been him but it’s over now. Jason needed to accept the fact that nothing will ever happen between them now. He watched as Nico buried his face on Will’s chest as his arms held tightly on the other blond. Well, that was enough reality to get Jason moving. He got up, threw in a few bills on the table and turned to leave.

 

“Have fun you two.” he waves as he walk away.

 

Walk away from Nico.

 

Walk away from his life, his everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeyyy I reuploaded this chapter and made it longer. I've been away for so long and I'm sorry school has eaten me. Right now I'm on vacation but I won't make promises. How do you like the fanfic so far? Comments area appreciated! I don't get enough comments and insights and it makes me lazy to write the next chapter. 
> 
> the song used is "Hearts a mess" by Gotye


	8. Happy together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back when they were younger, Jason was happy. They both were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've neglected this fanfic for so long and for that, I am terribly sorry! I am honestly running out of ideas to write so I might as well try to end this by chapter 10 (HOPEFULLY). I get writer's block a lot and I guess depression is also at fault for draining out my creative juices. 
> 
> remember  
> Italized font means flashback!

_Snow covered the whole expanse of the town they lived in. People rarely got out of their homes because of the cold yet Jason still had a job to do. It was hard getting by when December rolled by. It meant there weren’t much jobs he could take to support his remaining year in college. Aside from the university expenses, he had to pay bills and their rent, do groceries and made sure Nico was happy. He was already getting tired of it all but… seeing Nico’s smiling face was worth it all. It wasn’t easy winning the guy over. Nico was so hung up on Percy that he didn’t realize that he was using Jason for convience. Though that was all in the past, Jason couldn’t help but ponder about such ideas._

_Today, he was at a factory that were shipping frozen goods out. Since Christmas was around the corner, the demand for frozen foods were high thus the demand for workers was also high and given the weather in their town, it was hard looking for workers. Luckily, Jason was done with everything in his university so he didn’t worry much other than putting food on the table. Even though Nico could cook, ingredients were scarce._

_“Nice work today Grace!” said one worker from across the factory._

_There were only a handful of them that day but Jason was thankful he had people to work with. This job would have totally blown if it weren’t for his colleagues._

_They all gave Jason a pat when they left. They all admired how hard Jason worked. Stripped off of all his wealth, they sympathized with his situation. That night, as Jason walked home, it started to snow again. Surely enough, when he gets home, Nico would be bundled up in their room drawing something or simply tapping away on the computer for his freelance job. Since Nico couldn’t stay long in his part time jobs, he opted for something that was home based, at least something to help Jason with their bills._

_Nico had been moody lately and all Jason could think about was because he didn’t leave their apartment. It hurt Nico’s pride to walk around the campus when he wasn’t student there anymore. The sight of their other friends studying took a toll on Nico that he refused to join Jason whenever he had classes in the university. Jason wished he knew what the problem really was but Nico kept to himself mostly. It felt heavy in his chest, thinking that Nico doesn’t trust him enough to spill his beans. On the contrary, Nico knew every about Jason and his father disowning him._

_Jason didn’t really matter to Jupiter anyway. He was an illegitimate child. Thalia was the rightful child of Jupiter yet she also couldn’t care less if they were bonded by blood. She hated Jupiter for some reasons. She hated him enough to take the same name as Jason, to be known as Thalia Grace. Despite the troubles in their complex family, Jason’s mother, Beryl, accepted Thalia as her own. She raised the both with warmth and love that Jupiter and his wife could never provide. Though Beryl had issues on her own, she did her best._

_Jarring him from his thoughts, Jason reaches the front door of their apartment. He hadn’t noticed that he had already passed by the lobby. Grabbing his keys, he thrust his key in and twists it, pushing the door open. The sight of their worn walls immediately made Jason sigh. But then he heard a crash and then a thud. He speed-walked to the kitchen only to see Leo and Nico arguing about something while the both pointed spatulas at one another._

_“I told you, you fucking midget, this is how I cook!” Nico screams, throwing a pinch of salt on the pan._

_“Huh look who’s talking! You’re no taller than me Di Angelo and I’m telling you Jason likes his meat well done!” screamed the other._

_“Non capisci! Questo è come faccio io!” Nico screams back. Leo scratches his head violently._

_“No entiendo!!! Habla inglés, Nico!”_

_Both continue to scream at one another in their mother tongues that they hadn’t notice Jason watching their verbal battle. But then Jason noticed the food burning so he had to step in._

_“As much as I find your oral battle adorable, the food is burning. I’ll take that.” Jason grabs both of their spatulas and started cooking the meal himself, somehow forgetting about his aching back._

_“Sounds kinky.” Leo grins. Nico smacks him on the arm._

_“Let me do that. You’re tired from work.”_

_Small hands reached around Jason’s tired ones. The blond let go and was thankful that he could rest for a while. On the other hand, Nico gave Leo the stink eye which translated to ‘go get the table ready’ which Leo understood well enough._

_While Leo fixed the table, Jason laid down the sofa, a groan involuntarily escaping his lips as his back touch the plump surface of the sofa. He stretched and closed his eyes, feeling sleep lord over him until he felt a hand pat his hip. He cracks one eye open and sees Nico… no Leo shaking his head. These two looked at most alike in the lime light that Jason would sometimes confuse them._

_“Don’t sleep man. You won’t be able to eat dinner if you sleep.”_

_“mh…” Jason groaned again and pulled himself up too fast that the world spun around him. Good thing Leo was around to keep him still. “Thanks… I’m just really tired.”_

_“Seems like it. C’mon superman, up you go.”_

_Leo takes Jason’s arm and pulls him up, getting Jason to stand up as well. The blond staggers to the table where Nico has set everything for the three of them. It was such a weird set up. Thrice a week, their friends would visit to have dinner with them. It had become a schedule with them and usually, it would be Leo and Frank. There would still be awkward tension between Percy and Nico but Jason always shrugged it off. It was all in the past anyway. Though Nico’s gaze always lingered…_

_“Jason!” Nico calls._

_Jason snaps out from his thoughts and looks down at his pants… where his food had fallen._

_“I’m sorry about that.” he wipes at his lap immediately and takes a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth, surprised that he had tastes that night. Usually, he was too tired to even taste the food he was eating. “This is good.”_

_“It’s just mashed potatoes man. Don’t tell me you’re a potato guy now too?” Leo exaggerates, shoving a mouthful of steak in his mouth._

_“Shut up Leo. He’s usually too tired to even realize what he eats.” defended Nico, side-glancing at Jason to make sure he was eating everything in his plate. Jason was getting thin these days and he didn’t like it._

_“Maybe you should rest tomorrow Jason. Have some fun for a while.” Leo always suggested every time he came over. He knew what his best friend was going through and he too noticed Jason thinning._

_“I can’t… I don’t have enough to pay for my tuition let alone this apartment.” Jason sighs, feeling his appetite leave him. The stress was too much to handle._

_Nico looked at Jason’s tired face guiltily. He couldn’t do much for Jason since he was barely in his second year when he dropped out of college. Not to mention his ill-tempered attitude that didn’t do well with his co-workers, Nico was forced to stay at home, like a shut-in, always waiting for Jason to come home from work. He had too much guilt that he couldn’t even leave their front door, thinking he was a failure for putting Jason into so much stress._

_If only he swallowed his pride…_

Nico stared at his untouched glass for champagne. Somehow, he and Will had ended up sitting on the table he and Jason met in. Was this really it? Couldn’t he save everything if he tried hard enough? Jason did his best but… that was all in the past. Thinking about it, as Nico always did, it wouldn’t have been like this if only…

 

It really wasn’t his fault in the first place. He felt trapped in their apartment. He couldn’t leave because he was too guilty of putting so much burden on Jason… but why did he had to leave him?

 

Tears prickled Nico’s eyes as he thought about it once again.

 

He got fed up. He couldn’t accept the fact that someone was going out of their way to provide for him and to ensure his happiness. He couldn’t understand why Jason did all of those for him, someone who was good as dead to his family. Even when he got to Italy, he never got to see Bianca. He just left Jason for no good reason. It was like, Bianca just disappeared, making him a big asshole in front of Jason and he couldn’t just return because he couldn’t find Bianca. Why? Because he had pride. Too much of it. So instead of going back to Jason, to apologize and fix things sooner, he stayed in Italy, searching for his father but found Hazel instead.

 

It was a good decision for a while. He had Will and Hazel with him. He also had the chance to continue his studies, thanks to Hazel’s mother. He couldn’t ask for anything more. But the thought of what he did to Jason haunted him every night. Nico grew anxious of his decisions. Soon enough, even Will left him because he couldn’t get his ‘shit’ together.

 

“Don’t cry Nico. People will think I made you cry.” Will smiled sadly, wiping the tears from Nico’s eyes.

 

He didn’t deserve this. Out there, Jason was still nursing a broken heart, a heart he had broken again and again and again.

 

“Why was he so… nice to me?” Will could only look at him. Nico knew the answer to that but it seemed like someone should point it out for him.

“I don’t really know why you wouldn’t just accept the fact he loved you Nico. Isn’t that enough for you?” Will sighed. Nico had such a small self-esteem. He loved Nico with all his heart but he couldn’t bare this kind of talk even after all he has done for the other. “We both did a lot for you and I’m starting to think we’re not the problem here Nico. It’s you who can’t accept us. We go out of our way for you but what do you do? You toss us aside like some… some…” Now even Will was getting worked up. He wipes a stray tear that fell from his own eye and then looks hard at Nico. He sighs. “I think it’s time you go back to your hotel. Hazel must be worried. Come on, I’ll drive you back.”

 

The walk out of the hotel bar hand-in-hand. At first, Nico wasn’t aware of what was going on until they got outside, where the moon was at its fullest and shining it’s brightest. It was only then he realized he was scared. Scared of being left behind like Bianca did.

 

“I’m sorry Will… I’m sorry for being stupid.” Nico mutters while Will opens the car door for him.

 

For a moment, they just stand there, feeling each other’s presence. It was Will who moved first, wrapping his arms around Nico, who pressed his face on the crook of Will’s face, crying softly as if releasing all of his pent-up frustrations.

 

“I’ll try better this time I promise…”

 

And Will smiles, laughing quite happily at that too that he squeezes Nico in his arms.

 

“Thank you, Nico.” he mumbles and they just stand there, hugging and smiling at one another.

 

 

Jason didn’t know where he was heading. He just kept walking and walking and walking… until he got too tired he sat down at the soft sands. Not far from the hotel he met up with Nico was the local beach. He sat far from the group that was camping out and roasting their dinner, Jason didn’t want to ruin their fun.

 

Looking up, he saw the stars litter the night sky. They sparkled beautifully and for a while, Jason almost convinced himself that everything was going to be alright, that he could get through this like all those years he had been alone. Though that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It was just as painful as the night Nico had left him. He felt like drowning. Tears clouded his vision and no matter how hard Jason wiped the tears away, they just kept falling.

 

Too much was always bad.

 

Too much pain was bad. He wanted to rest for the night, maybe rest forever. It wasn’t the first time he had thought of it. Suicide was always in his list of options but he never took the chance to again. He knew he’d just be hurting his friends if he did so. But tonight was different. It was like the world was closing in on him. He found it harder to breathe as the tears fell faster. His chest hurt more than ever, his body ached and all Jason wished at that moment was for all the pain to disappear. He didn’t know what else to do. He was good as a goner by now. Everyone probably had an idea what kind of person he had become.

 

Nico was right. He was just sucking the life out of his friends the longer he stayed. What if he were gone? Would it be better for everyone else? They wouldn’t have to worry about his sorry ass let alone his miserable life. This was one of the biggest hurdles in his left that he couldn’t bring himself to get up from. He wanted to end it tonight.

 

He wanted to kill himself like seven years ago. Like every night of his life when things didn’t seem worth it.

 

Reaching to his back, he pulled his phone out and just stared at it. Should he call someone? The logical and practical thing to do was call someone and pour his heart out but even that was becoming a burden.

 

He couldn’t let this rule over him now. After all he had done to keep his emotions in check, he’d like them run amok again? Jason knew he was better than that.

 

So he did the next best thing: cry.

 

Pitiful as he may have sounded, he sobbed the clawing feeling inside of his chest. His mind ran through memories of him and Nico from before the fall. They were so happy. Where did he go wrong? Was it always his fault? Why couldn’t he consider the ideas that Nico just got tired of him? Why did Jason always had to hold on to that hope that Nico would do the same efforts he did for the other? It was stupid, but Jason hoped that was the case.

 

With how much the blond was berating himself, he didn’t notice a figure approach him. Jason’s head jerked from the ground to come face-to-face with a pale man. He had the same figure as Nico, even the same hair but his eyes were a beautiful indigo, doe-eyed and softer than Nico’s and said male was holding out a drink for him.

 

“I think you could use a drink.” the other said, gently and warmly. If the accent was something to go by, he was definitely not Nico.

“I ca-can’t accept a drink from a stranger.” Jason defended, finally wiping the tears away from his swollen eyes.

“What can I do to get your trust? This is just lemonade.” the doe-eyed male held the glass closer and inside, Jason could see slices of lemon and ice.

“Maybe you could start by telling me your name and where you came from.” But Jason didn’t wait. His throat was parched so he reached out and took the glass from the other, drinking the glass’ contents in one chug.

“I’m Adrien Le Blanc, monsieur. I came from France but I am here now to help my friends with their cafe. I couldn’t help but here the noise you made and… I would like to help you anyway I can.” Adrien smiled, squat-sitting next to Jason.

 

Jason just stared at him for a moment, taking a second look to process that Nico di Angelo wasn’t in front of him. They may have the same adorable curly hair but this guy was far more inviting that Nico had been the whole time he had stayed in their little town.

 

“Okay I’ll humor you. I need a new person in my life anyway. I don’t want to burden my friends any longer and you might just be the person who can change my night.”

 

Jason dry laughed. Adrien opted to sit next to Jason, taking the glass from the blond’s hand then giving Jason his full attention. The look on Adrien’s face gave Jason a slight hope to save the night.

 

“Do you want me to tell you everything or a summarized version of why tonight turned out badly?” Jason asked. From a far, Jason could see several heads turn their way. _Probably his friends,_ Jason thought.

“Just a summarized version please.”

“Before anything else, I am Jason Grace, retired military man. I am also a very troubled man. I tried to kill myself thrice but you know what they say, third time’s the charm.” Jason laughed it off but he noticed how Adrien frowned at the information. “Anyway…”

 

Jason started to tell his story to a complete stranger.

 

Adrien listened attentively. He nodded his head and asked questions as Jason talked. It was as if they’ve know each other for a long time with the way they interacted with each other. There were even times Adrien could pull a smile on Jason’s lips. Their conversation was going well than Jason expected. He expected Adrien to run away at the part where he had left for service but he didn’t. Adrien stayed until Jason spoke about the night’s events.

 

Adrien remained silent after Jason’s story.

 

They shared a peaceful silence until Adrien grabbed Jason by the arm.

 

“You know what.” Adrien got up, Jason also got up. “You need to meet my friends. Maybe it’s time you look somewhere else.”

 

For once, Jason let someone pull him.

 

They stumbled at the nearest camp fire where five other people were sitting and roasting generous amounts of food. Everyone who sat around the fire looked up at them, especially at Jason. As if they were long-time friends, Adrien led Jason to sit next to him. On his left was a star-haired man who looked at him with squinted eyes.

 

“Everyone-” Adrien got their attention. “This is Jason.” Jason received unsure greetings. It felt like he was invading their space.

“Hello Jason, my name is Des Aeva. I am Adrien’s boss.” A man of six feet tall loomed over him. Des took his hand and shook it, smiling a little before releasing Jason’s hand.

“Leo Spindler.” said the man on Jason’s left. The brunette continued to look at Jason weirdly as the other three people introduce themselves as Adrien’s co-workers.

“You look so much like him.” Leo spoke out of the blue, handing Jason more of their lemonade. “ The only difference I can say is your skin tone. You’re American right?”

“Yes. Who are you talking about?” Jason was confused. He reminded Leo of someone else?

“Not my story to tell.” Leo smirked as his eyes drifted to Adrien, who was watching them converse. When Jason turned to look at Adrien, the other shied away.

 

For the rest of the night, Jason tried to get along with these new people. It wasn’t hard since all of them were very friendly especially Leo. He reminded Jason of Percy, just a little bit, and that comforted him that by the three o’clock in the morning, the both had passed out next to each other, snoring softly while the others made their way to their own tents.

 

Oblivious to Jason, his phone rang and rang but he never heard from it that night.

 

 

Morning came and Jason was woken up by the feeling of hands running down his body. His initial reaction was to push whoever it was but he lagged. Instead, he tried to clear his vision on the person feelings him up. But his eyes were too bleary and all he could make out was a mess of blond hair.

 

“Hmm good morning darling.” that voice.

 

Jason immediately got up from his spot in the tent and focused his eyes on the intruder. A certain blond he thought he had left back in the barracks.

 

“Apollo?”

 

There was a melodious laugh that came from Apollo as he got up from his kneeling position. He patted himself clean and walked out, gesturing for Jason to come with him. Jason was still processing last night’s events but his instincts told him to follow. With a groggy mind, he stood up and walked out the tent. Outside, Des and the others were packing up. Adrien and his co-workers were busy making breakfast while Apollo just walked to the shoreline. Jason was completely confused of what was happening but he followed Apollo, not before greeting his new friends a good morning.

 

For a while, they just walked along the shoreline, enjoying the sound the seagulls and the crashing of the waves. Apollo was poetic this way. At least that’s how Jason thought of it.

 

“How have you been Jason?”

 

They stop somewhere far from the group’s vicinity. It seemed like Apollo and Jason had something serious to discuss about.

 

“I’ve been fine. Thank you for asking Apollo.” but that only made Apollo’s gentle features to ripple.

“You can’t fool me. You didn’t get yourself checked up. You’re bruising badly.” Jason had expected this. Apollo had been keen about Jason’s health whether it was mental or physical health. Apollo was kind that way.

“I just… don’t see the reason why I should.” Jason scratched his head, his gaze moving to the horizon instead of meeting Apollo’s disappointed look.

“Do you really want to die that badly?”

 

It was a simple question but he weighed Jason down his whole life. Did he really want to die? At the moment, he had no answer for that. He just wanted to stay where he was for now, maybe search for work again just so he could keep his mind distracted from a lot of things.

 

“You know you can’t go back to the barracks with your health. That’s why I sent you back here to get treatment and you’ve taken an awful lot of time without any updates about you.” Apollo stared. “And you’re looking mighty shitty right now.”

“What can I say, I see something I don’t like, I stop.” The events from last night flashed into Jason’s mind, instantly drowning himself with grief and anxiety.

“Well that’s a shitty way to say it. Do you want me to take you then? I own the hospitals here so don’t be shy darling.” Winked Apollo as he snaked an arm around Jason’s torso, continuing their walk to the shoreline. “You may only know me inside the barracks but I care for you deeply Jason. Even if your father didn’t order me to, I’d still look out for you like my own child. A very stubborn child.”

“Thanks. At least I know someone is as stubborn as me when it came to other things.” Jason smiled, returning Apollo’s affection with his arm around the other’s torso as well.

“Then you’ll come with me to the hospital then? I’ll personally do your check-up since it seems to me, I’m the only doctor you’ll ever trust with your life.”

 

Jason pondered at the thought for a moment. Should he?

 

“Okay.” Apollo smiled brightly. “After breakfast with these guys.” Jason finished, turning his gaze back to camp site where Leo and Des were waving for them to come back.

 

 

Morning was spent with Jason’s new friends despite the lingering anxiety inside of him, Jason tried to see the brighter things of life. Trying again and again was hard but with a stubborn friend like Apollo, things just tend to fix themselves. At least one friend was hard-headed enough to make an effort for him, something that Jason wasn’t sure of after all especially if said friend was pretty known in the Medical field.

 

The drive to the hospital, the same hospital Jason was confined in a month ago, was a tense one. He really didn’t want to go back to that place where he spent a lot of bad days. The moment Jason stepped out of Apollo’s car, he felt his legs freeze. A numbing pain ran up to his thighs as he forced himself to follow Apollo in the hospital. Apollo kept walking, oblivious that Jason was lagging behind him. Bad memories filled Jason’s mind as he tried to push past the double doors of the facility. The mere thought of standing in the hospital nauseated him yet he made it to a quieter hallway, the direction to Apollo’s office, when he collapsed against the wall, his left leg giving out on him. Laying on the floor, Jason breathed in and out heavily, trying to calm his heart which was beating too fast for his liking. His palm sweated as a migraine wracked his brain. He hated the hospital. He despised it. At that moment, everything seemed to blur around Jason. Sounds were muffled while a few nurses got to him, Apollo never leaving his line of vision as a lot of hands touch him here and there. Just what was going on?

 

Will had gotten word that his father was back. As soon as he received the message, he dropped Nico off and went directly to his father’s office. But instead found Jason on the floor having a panic attack while his father tried to talk sense to the panicking blond. There were tears running down Jason’s face as he got closer, trying to inspect what was happening at the moment. On his father’s lap laid Jason in a fatal position, sobbing and mumbling things that didn’t make sense. From the floor, Apollo looked up at him with worry in his face.

 

It all happened to fast for Will too comprehend. The next thing he knew was that he was moving to a room with a  bunch of nurses and his father accompanying Jason. Just last night, Jason seemed fine but now, Will was seeing another side he rather not see. As the nurses pull Jason away on a stretcher, Apollo pulls Will away from the crowd and they stand outside the room Jason was going to be held. For a moment, Will and Apollo locked eyes.

 

“Will, for now we’ll skip the formalities. I would want you to fetch me Jason Grace’s records including ones from seven-“ but Apollo was cut off.

“I have them dad.” Will almost said tiredly. “He got admitted here a month ago for a car crash.”

“What? Jason got into an accident again?” Apollo’s features morphed into disappointment. “Gods this man…”

“Do you know him dad? You worked in the barracks, right?”

“I was his doctor there.” Apollo started to head to his office. “Come with me.”

 

The two blonds walked to the end of the hall where Apollo’s office was. They entered and Apollo started pulling on drawers to look for a certain file.

 

“His father sent him to the barracks to distract him. He didn’t really pass medical examination but if you had a father like Jason’s… Well anyway, I sent him back here because he’s showing signs.” Apollo sighed, sitting on his swivel chair for a moment as he placed a folder on top of his table.

“Signs of what?” Will was now curious. Some part of him told him that this was Jason getting karma.

“A lot of things but the bruising was the ever present symptom for… leukemia and-“ Apollo sighed. “Parkinson’s disease and sometimes musculoskeletal problems. My only worry then was leukemia but now it seems like he had done more damage than before.”

 

Will watched his father sigh and rub on his face. It was clear that Apollo was stressed but Will didn’t know up to what extent Jason was suffering. This made things more complicated for him but that wasn’t the only thought that ran into Will’s mind.

 

As they walked through the hallway to the testing labs, Will watched his father sneak a peek at Jason’s room, now fully silent as Jason laid soundlessly asleep on the bed. Last month, Jason was in the same state and seeing him now made Will pity him. Jason’s complexion was paler than before, his lips were chapped, veins were visible and exhaustion was apparent in his whole being.

 

They continued to walk until a certain Nico di Angelo was in sight. Will and Nico had agreed to spend their lunch together after last night’s happenings. Apollo, on the other hand, stopped walking as he set his eyes on Nico di Angelo. Nico then approached them, waving a hand at Will and throwing a cautious glance at Apollo.

 

“Dad-“ Will started, startling Nico as he stopped in front of them. “This is Nico di Angelo. Remember him?” Apollo squinted, but nods a little at the recognition.

“I do. You never stopped talking about him. I’m Apollo, director and resident doctor of this hospital.” Apollo held a hand out for a shake, which Nico took and shook with a small smile on his face.

“It’s nice to finally meet you sir.”

“Likewise.” Came Apollo’s snip voice. “Anyways, I’ll be needing files about Jason Grace, Will.” The older of the two blonds stares pointedly at Will, scrutinizing him under his gaze. “I’ve been delayed enough and the gods know how much this man needs medical help.”

 

The way Apollo said it made Will nervous. Even so for Nico whose eyes had turn big at the mention of Jason’s name.

 

“I’m rather busy today mister Di Angelo, but I hope I find the time to spend some quality time with you during my stay here. You see, I came from the barracks and I’m only staying here for a short while because of a certain stubborn patient. I hope I get to know you better.” Apollo smiled, finally walking away from the momentary group, which leaves Will and Nico along.

“Was that Jason’s doctor?” Nico spoke, his eyes showing a million emotions at once.

“Yeah… I didn’t know my dad was in charge of him. Such a small world this is.” Will sighed. They both move to sit at the plastic benches to talk more properly. By the way Nico was fidgeting, it was obvious that he was nervous.

“Is Jason here?”

“He just got admitted by my dad just a while ago.” Nico stays quiet for a while. “He had a panic attack just outside the doors and for some reason, Jason seems like a valuable friend to my dad.” Will sighs again, resting his head against the wall behind him as he closed his eyes and took deep breathes to search for words that would be appropriate at the moment. “I’ll be completely honest with you Nico. Last month when Jason got admitted here for car crash, I wasn’t here but we do have records. Apparently, Jason’s condition is bad. Aside from the psychological treatments he should have taken, there’s also him declining treatment for… Leukemia. It showed in the tests that he was positive and now that my dad is adamant on getting Jason fixed. We haven’t really talked about it but it seems Jason’s been sick for a while now and he chose to ignore all of it. I’ll have to go fetch his records again because I dread that it might be too late to prevent this illness.”

 

There was a deafening silence between them. Nico’s gaze was fixed at the placard on nurse’s station. There was a far off look in his face as if he was back tracking to earlier years. Just like Jason, Nico looked exhausted.

 

“Is this why he’s being an asshole the whole time I was here? Because he thinks it’s too late for him?”

“I don’t know Nico.”

“Stupid.”

 

Nico smiled to himself, a fake one. He hung his head low as he put his face on his hands, sighing so deeply that it worried Will.

 

“I think you should go get those records now Will. Time is of the essence as they say.” Nico said brokenly.

“Will you be okay on your own?”

“I’ve always been.” Nico sighed again. He took his phone out and dialed a number. “I’ll just call someone. You can go now.”

 

Will didn’t really want to go at all. He knew how Nico think. After all they’ve been through, Will knew that Nico was going to blame himself for everything that happened and will happen to Jason because of the one decision he made seven years ago. With a heavy hearth, Will got up from his seat and patted Nico on the shoulder before walking off. Nico stayed in his seat and cried. He let the tears run down the moment Will was out of his sight. Then the line connected.

 

“Hello?”

“Hey Percy.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song reference is "Happy Together" by Filter from the Great Gatsby


End file.
